I am overseas and she is leaving me?

Question

I am in Afghanistan and have been married for only four months and she is leaving me. I think that is pretty crappie. I do things everyday even though I don't want to for others to be able to have the freedom to do what they want. I hurt everyday. I love her so much but she says she don't have a life. I say that is why I am here. My life is falling apart because of this war and there is nothing I can do but watch. I told her that I am coming home in three weeks and she doesn't care. I am the kind of man that is home after work. Help cook and clean. She drives a new car and has no bills. I give her a 150.00 a week to spend. I isn't my fault I am here. I wanted to build a house when I get out of the army in two years and her mom convinced her we have no future. I guess I just don't have anyone to talk to. Here I am.

Answer 1

First, thank you for serving. Second, I'm sorry that you are having to go thru this so far away from home and with you serving in the military. Her mom is 100% wrong that you have no future. Please, go ahead and build your home in two years. If she is with you, great, if not, then a better person can share it with you. Would she be willing to go for counseling? Have you talked with your chaplain on this matter? I'm glad to see you understand what committment is/and means. How old is she? Please, when you come back home, talk with your chaplain, or CO on this matter, and see also if you can get some counseling-hopefully she will see you, realize how much she loves you, and want to work it out. I don't appreciate the fact that her mother is meddling. I'm so sorry you are having to go thru this-I really am. It sounds like she really doesn't know what she would be missing, if she were to go thru with this divorce. I agree, it is rather crappie of her to do this to you now, with you in Afganistan. What does she mean, she doesn't have a life? There are other military wives she could get together with-talk about things with, do things for fun with. I learned from my mom that it takes someone special to be a military wife. My dad was in the Army 24 yrs., in the cold war. Fought in WWII. Talk about faithfulness. Please ask your wife to stay until after you get home, and spend some time together, you two are newly weds! Ask her to go for counseling with you, go on a honeymoon with you when you go on leave. I'm sorry it's hard on her, but it's even harder on you to be away from her-you are in a whole different reality right now. I truly do wish you the very best. Take care.

Answer 2

This is the sad reality of young military married couples, guy deploys, wife is supportive for a bit and then either guy cheats and claims war as excuse or wife cheats claiming no life or loneliness. This has nothing to do with the war, you could have been deployed for BNONC and she would have left because I personally believe she has found someone else. Why else would she not wait for a simple three weeks?
Very few marriages last in the military, you have to work extra hard and be 100 times more commited then any other married person.
I am sorry this is happening to you but if she is this way after only four months of marriage then she doesn't really love you and it will never last.
Take Care, God Bless.

Answer 3

If she's not dedicated enough to support you while your out there with your life at stake then she's probably NOT the girl for you. You can't really do much right now, but wait the 3 weeks till you get back home & talk to her face to face. Deployment is hard for some Military wives, especially the ones that get lonely & give up so easily, while thinking these negative thoughts to herself, she's got her mom on the side feeding the fire. I know it's hard for you at the same time being in war, but it's best you don't stress about this while your out there doing your job. You should handle this when you get back, if it doesn't work out in the end, just know that you don't need that in your life, you want a WOMAN, not a girl. You need a dedicated one who will stand by your side & understand every time you get deployed. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

Answer 4

The war isn't the reason that she is leaving you. She is a shallow person that would always bale when things got tough. It is a real crappy thing to do, but hopefully, you don't have any kids. It's better that you found out now what a loser she is. Not all women are like that and you deserve better. It will be hurtful for a long time but you will overcome. Thank you for what you are doing and remember, its not the war that caused this. She was never worth you anyway.

Answer 5

Your doing a noble thing for your country over there. I am very proud of our Armed Forces. You sound like a good man, and unfortunately, crappy things happen to good people. Life isn't fair, and for me, when I finally accepted that, things got a little easier.
My friend, you need to simply bite the bullet and let your wife go - I know that may not be what you want to hear - but a year from now you'll be glad you did. This woman is too fickle to be a good, loyal, loving wife for you. You deserve better, and you will find better, but you need to let her go for that to happen. The sooner the better.
Hang tough - you will make it through this.

Answer 6

How long have you been in Afghanistan? Just curious. My nephew is there also. You have been married for only 4 months? Did you get married right before you was deployed?
I am a bit surprised you are coming home so soon after deployment. I hope all works out for you.

Answer 7

I am sorry that you have such an ungrateful wife. I hate to add to your pain, but she was a mistake. There are so many beautiful, smart and appreciative females just waiting for hereos like you. Get rid of the freeloader before it's too late. She is not your soulmate. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for your service. I know it's not easy but you are keeping this country safe. You are this country! Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart. Hereos like you deserve so much better. Please come home safe. The good people of this country that realize the good that you are doing thank you and salute you. May God Bless You!

Answer 8

First let me say this. Keep your mind on what you are doing over there or you'll be coming home in a body bag, that is if they can find enough of you to put in one.

I've been through this crap before myself. This woman you married isn't worth a pile of dog dung. If i were you i'd divorce this piece of crap so fast it would make her head spin.

You deserve better. You've earned it, and you'll find a woman that will love and respect you for who you are and your accomplishments.

Believe me, don't feel sad that she's doing this. She's about as worthless a woman as one could be. Let her go and just know that you'll find a woman thousands of times better than this piece of crap.

Freeze your bank accounts, stop all alottments, don't give that piece of crap another penny.

Answer 9

What you have written is not a believable We are only hearing one side of the story.

Let's see here - You are fighting the enemy and serving the nation. Great thing you are doing. Thank you. Because of you we are safe here. But wife is ditching you because you are not home? Balderdash.

All other things don't seem to jive. No one in their right mind will pick up and leave just like that knowing that you will be back home soon. I have to listen to her side of the story too, which we do not know. Unable to comment on this.

Come back home safe & sound and soon and away from harm's way. We need good soldiers like you back in our midst.

May God be with you.

Answer 10

First let me say, Thank you.
Now for your question: You are powerless in this situation. I don't know if you beleive in God (and no I'm not going to preach at you). But, I am going to tell you the truth as I have exxperienced it. We cannot control what people do, even the people we love, people we devote our lives to, it's hard to grasp, we can hear it a million times, but until we are in that situation where we are not in control, and we are hurting, it's not easy to really get it. Now here is some hope: Even though she cannot fill that gap, that painful void, you are going to be ok. How? Why? It is my prayer for you tonight that my God bring you peace and the knowledge that He will restore love into your life. When we look at our problems, God looks small, but when we look to Him our problems get smaller. I will tell you my experience and maybe it will help you. My husband and I got married in Sept of 03'. The following August he went to Las Vegas to find work. He started using drugs and cheating on me in November of that year. When our daughter and I moved out there I knew something was wrong. AfterI found out about his addiction and about a dating service he kept calling, I continued to stay until I knew for her sake I had to leave. I loved him so much that over the summer I used with him, I would have done anything for him to just love me. I finally left. He spent the money we were saving for a house and continued to cheat. I went out to get him when he had nowhere else to turn. We stayed with my grandma until he found a job. I got a loan and we got a house. Two paychecks later he brought drugs into my home again. I left. I did not think I could make it on my own (I'm in school) and I moved in with another man. I hated myself, what I had become. I blamed him. I left and got my own place. My husband had been in recovery for 3months, but I didnt trust him yet. After 2 more months and attending Celebrate Recovery (12step program that deals with all sin) he moved in. That was in late October. I can truly say that we are healing and that I have never felt as close to him as I do now. But, in 2004 til October of 2006 our marriage was in shambles. I have seen many miracles in my life (seriously), but this forgiveness, this healing, this marriage is definitley the most awesome I have expereinced. Whatever happens to you and your wife, know that WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE, but without Him nothing works. I hope this gives you some comfort soldier. May His blessings be upon you, your family, and our troops.