Recently I have been feeling very bitter. The friends I use to hang out with never call me back. I will note that we live in seperate cities but does it really hurt to call a person back? In addition a job I was really looking forward to starting fell through. It was one that could help get my life and career on to a running start. I realize that this won't matter in a few years and there are others far worse then me. However, these events have lately really bothered me. Help what should I do?
2007-02-19 18:52:17 · 8 answers · asked by gurl 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Bitterness CAN ruin you, but how can it be helped? If you're bitter about something, then the problem can't be fixed and may have you being reminded of how so many people can be so ignorant and mean.
As such, these "friends" sound mean in your description; however, it's just your word, so I'm not really sure. But if you feel your friends are stepping on you, then tangle with a new bunch.
2007-02-19 18:58:46 · answer #1 · answered by Caterwault 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't say that bitterness "ruins" you...that is a rather strong word, but it certainly can leave you with high levels of stress which can set you up for some unhealthy thought patterns (such as "maybe it's my fault, am I not likable, why does things always go wrong for me, no one will be there for me, people as such assholes, I should just give up" etc). These thoughts may in turn affect your behavior, especially in social situations, and also may affect your health.
Not doing anything and allowing the negativity to brew will only create more tension in your relationships, and I guarantee that those angry thoughts will hurt you more than those you feel let down by.
What can you do to make it go away? It'll just fade in time, but there are some things that you may do to help.
Talk to your friends about how you feel. If you come across as too accusing it'll only create more problems. However, if you tell them that you feel let down, but express how much they mean to you and that you miss them, then they will likely be more receptive to what you have to say.
Let their responses guide your course of action. If they are still neglectful, then sadly you will have to let them go...but at least you'll have some closure, and won't feel guilty "giving up" on the friendship. You'll know that you did the best that you could.
Sadly, Unreliable friends and disappointments in work are extremely common, especially for those in their 20s. You may just have to wait out this rough patch, and try to keep busy in the meantime. The most important thing is to not let yourself become isolated, or you may become depressed. Go to places where you can socialize (try clubs and workshops), if you are close with anyone then talk to them, keep yourself busy with hobbies (or start new ones), get outside, and make sure that you eat well and exercise.
It will all fall into place soon enough if you can just ride it out, so try to make the best of what you do have for now. I'm having to do the same myself lately.
I hope that you feel better soon. Good luck *hugs*
2007-02-20 04:51:17 · answer #2 · answered by ladyofthemystnin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bitterness is a terrible thing; it will eat you from the inside out. It's not easy, but you must do whatever you can to let go of these feelings. I know that it sounds like a pat answer, but I've found that there's a reason for nearly everything that I've had to go through in my life, even the most painful things. We learn and we grow, and this is progress. Try to accept and even appreciate the lessons, and don't let life make you bitter.
As far as the friends go, I think that saying about them being in our lives "for a reason, a season, or a lifetime" is probably true. Value what's there, take care of the friendship. If it turns out to be a lifetime one, consider yourself blessed. If not, be grateful for what you had and cherish the memories.
Best of luck to you.
2007-02-20 03:12:15 · answer #3 · answered by PJPeach 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, by all means bitterness can and does harm you. i used to get, and feel and be bitter a lot, but i had an awakening when i was diagnosed with a debilitating disease for which there is no cure.
i started turning negative things that had happened into positives by looking at them as learning experiences and opportunuities to grow not just mentally, from the experience, but spiritually, as being able to let go.
2007-02-20 03:11:23 · answer #4 · answered by daddysboicub 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there will be times that life is not going well the way we wish it would. it's not the end.... dont give up. you feel so alone right now and you need those friends to talk to. maybe they're just like you having problems of their own and trying to cope with it. go ahead, make that call and you will see how happy they are to hear from you. as you've said there are others that are in far worse situation than you do and i agree with you. you're still lucky.
2007-02-20 14:29:32 · answer #5 · answered by Lola 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to everything , there is a season. a time for every purpose under heaven. Let things flow the natural way, think good and good things will happen. Heaven knows best. Just keep on moving on. Believe that it's only you who can make your life better. Not anyone else, not anything else.
2007-02-20 03:04:20 · answer #6 · answered by nina 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
'Bitter Bruin' is the name of the drink.It dont ruin nothin.
2007-02-20 03:00:02 · answer #7 · answered by mark t 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
retards progress - spoil relationship- disturb mental peace
2007-02-20 03:02:26 · answer #8 · answered by hari prasad 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋