My husband's abroad for six months. He is coming for a 10-day holiday next month. So my inlaws are also coming the same day to stay for 2 weeks to see him and because FIL needs to do a health checkup too! Strangely, the son spent a week with them in December before leaving. It's hardly three months since!
But how can they be so insensitive? We have a small apartment. And now we will have no privacy for those 10 days. Why cant they stay with their daughter who is in the same city? Someone Help!!
2007-02-19 18:20:05 · 16 answers · asked by cella 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why don't you phone them and politely give them some numbers to great hotels nearby? It worked like a charm for me!!
2007-02-19 18:23:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They had many years with him and now it is your turn. Sure they want to see him, how about a weekend? Not the whole 10 days. I know you don't want to hurt anyones feelings, but this is unacceptable. And if you allow this to happen one time, your done. They will continue to intrude and impose, so you must nip it in the bud. How? Lie if you have to. How about this, why don't you make hotel arrangements for you and your husband and say it was a surprise you arranged for the two of you. Or just tell the truth, your request is not out of line. They can't possibly blame you for wanting to spend quality time with your husband. Ask the sister for some help, she may see your side. Good Luck! And you are so not being insensitive. Stand up!
2007-02-20 03:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by lisa-loo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the daughter and ask for her help. If not, just let them know that they will be needing to stay in a hotel and you'll be glad to see them. If you don't take a firm action now, it will never stop.
If nothing else, tell them they can come for the last 3-5 days of his holiday but you're sure they will understand that you cannot accomadate them for the full 10 days.
2007-02-20 02:25:51 · answer #3 · answered by Chloe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband needs to use his spine and tell his parents that your place is too small. they can get a hotel room somewhere nearby, but you and your husband need to have time together, alone.
or maybe you can let the inlaws stay at your place, but you and your husband go get a hotel for several nights.
two weeks is too long for an inlaw visit. stand your ground!
have a nice day!
2007-02-20 02:24:07 · answer #4 · answered by sharrron 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Breath.........
I have been in your shoes...when my hubby was in the military.
Are you close with your sister in-law? That would be the first call I would make....I wouldn't complain however I would kindly ask if at all possible that your in-laws could spend a few night with them, knowing that you haven't had anytime with your hubby for 10 months.
If that doesn't work....I would plan a couple days away at a hotel for you and your hubby......
We did this one time....it was nice to spend time alone....no dishes, no phones....just us.
If you have children...you have babysitters.....
Another thing we did and this did stop visits right when he came home...I am laughing and remembering....right when he got there we hit the bedroom and shut the door....lol...didn't come out for a hours....time for us....ya know....and then just laying there and talking holding another. If I remember right we came out the next morning....rested ....and with smiles.
Your in-laws sound like mine...they aren't thinking that they are in the way...or doing anything wrong...they just want to see him.
I let them in because God forbid that anything should happen while hubby was gone...and I didn't let them see their son...I would be forever blamed.
Try to find time for you....Work With it.....:O)
You can do it....make it fun...and with a smile.
Best wishes
2007-02-20 02:37:12 · answer #5 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the time your husband needs to step up and make a compromise with his parents. Maybe offer a week with you guys a week with his sister? get his sister in on it nd get her to call up and invite them to her place as well? Just gently remind them that its imports ant for you guys to spend time together as well and that you need that tI'me to be alone. If they are good, supportive parents then they will understand... if not then I'm sorry but id get nasty!
I think the ball is in your husbands court here though. have a chat and explain to him, im sure he feel the same. Maybe his parents are completely oblivious yo what they are doing. If so, once you mention i they may be all apologetic~
2007-02-20 02:25:18 · answer #6 · answered by Kris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not enlist the help of their daughter? If that s not a possibility; gently but firmly inform yur in-laws that you're really looking forward to a week-long honeymoon with your hubby and you'll gladly share him when your week is up! Don' be shy about this; hold your ground!
2007-02-20 02:44:06 · answer #7 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course they can stay with their daughter, or even at a hotel for that matter. But they won't unless you tell them, kindly but in no uncertain terms, that they cannot possibly stay with you since your place is too small and you need some private time with your husband too.
2007-02-20 02:24:25 · answer #8 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your husband needs to pull his mother away and tell her that. she obviously thinks her presence is what he really wants but honestly its yours, they need to give you space. your a relationship that has been apart for 3 months and things change. You will both be diff people and with the inlaws there it wont be easy having time together. Trust me, my inlaws are the reason mine busted up. You need to be number 1 at this time.
2007-02-20 02:26:27 · answer #9 · answered by unoirok 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would talk to your husband. i'm sure he wants some privacy soon. i'm sure his sister could sare the load. it isn't fair for them to run you over like that. my inlaws did the same to me at our daughters birth..i fianlly lost it and snapped on them..so i advise talking to them before that time comes. just let them know you'd like some time together too, and see if they can go to his sisters or a hotel or come in a day or two later. good luck!
2007-02-20 02:25:04 · answer #10 · answered by Angeleyez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cella,
Call and tell them that you are really not going to be able to have enough room for them to stay with you and arrange for them to stay with her ahead of calling them. They should be willing to stay with her. Just realize that they may not leave your appartment until late each and every nite. You should be able to do that. If not, call their daughter and allow her to call them. She might enjoy doing that anyway so that they would spend more time with her. It will all work out. Have a great week.
Eds
2007-02-20 02:26:53 · answer #11 · answered by Eds 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋