My wife and me off late have been putting ourselves into the ordeals of abusing each other which ends up in fits of blows. While the blows start from her end, it mostly ends up with me hitting her harder and she whining and cryng a lot. I realise my folly and do apologise but she states that while a women is entitled to hit her husband, its not customary for a hubby to hit back. I resent this and feel only instigated to hit when I get hit first. I do realise my anger sees no limit when I get beaten - be it wife or anybody. What should I do?
2007-02-19 17:41:16 · 15 answers · asked by shivanaths 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First...
Get a divorce..
Second..
Get therapy...
2007-02-19 17:46:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, avoid the police. Crazy b*tch feminazis have screwed up our legal system so that the police are under legal obligation to make an arrest any time there's a domestic violence call. They're really reluctant to arrest women, especially if there's hitting both ways, because they have to maintain a gender quota for their arrests(really).
Second of all, don't feel bad about hitting her back. If she started it, she deserves it. So what if you hit her harder? She drew first blood.
Thirdly, get the h*ll away from her. Get out of the house when it happens. I'd file for divorce as well. If she thinks that a woman is entitled to hit her husband, then she's a real psycho. Also, if possible, try to get some temporary living arrangement, as protection, in case she tries to call the police on you when you get into a fight. She'll probably try that if she learns that you're trying to leave her.
Fourthly, talk to a lawyer. They'd have better advice than yahoo answers.
2007-02-20 01:58:18 · answer #2 · answered by anotherguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man Up! Nobody cares who started it, this isnt a 3rd grade tiff on the playground, its a marriage between two adults. So act like it. If you KNOW that she's gonna hit you, or might hit you, and you obviously know, cuz you just posted it on Yahoo, then LEAVE, create space, DONT ALLOW it to start, or continue. That's what an adult would do. Go to your corner and get some space, time and perspective. Everybody needs those things when tempers flare. After you've gotten those three things, whether it be a day, a month or whatever, THEN decide for yourself how to continue, whether that be therapy, counseling, reconciliation, seperation, divorce, whatever. You decide, but do it with a clear head, not out of anger.
2007-02-20 01:55:44 · answer #3 · answered by Vivid C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No spouse has the right to hit the other in a relationship. If you just let her hit you, the fighting will not stop, it'll get worse. If you return the hitting it will not get better & will most likely land you in jail.
If she hits you, walk away. Take a walk & let her calm down. If need be, do not hit back but call the police for domestic violence.
I encourage you to both seek counseling. That will definitely help. Sit down & talk about it. If the relationship is abusive, perhaps you need to consider time apart.
2007-02-20 01:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by Vyctorya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have a serious problem and you both need to get serious help. You need to get some counseling and or go to anger management classes. If you guys care enough about each other to make things work then try to do it together. Otherwise go your seperate ways and get help individually. But please get help! It is not ok for either of you to be physically or verbally abusive to each other. You need to stop things now before someone gets thrown into jail! It is a vicious cycle that will keep happening until you get help. Most cities have classes and help groups that are low or no cost if money is an issue. You can usually call or go to your local police station for phamplets of imformation.
2007-02-20 01:50:25 · answer #5 · answered by Harkins 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sure hope you two have NO children watching or hearing all this going on. If you do, not only should you two be ashamed of yourselves, but the Police should be called-and both your butts need to sit in jail for awhile. Both of you sound so mental!! Why are you together? Love isn't suppose to hurt! If you two think your relationship has love in it, your wrong!! You both are sick, and need help. What a great life you have, really have some hopes and great dreams don't ya. Well we know what to write on your tombstone: "We finally killed each other!" Get out and get help!!
2007-02-20 01:54:22 · answer #6 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is suppose to be about LOVE.
YOu need to stop hitting back. Take pics of your injuries. Next time she starts call the cops.
Move out and make a better life for youself.
She has serious emotional issues
2007-02-20 01:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firs ask yourself do you really love this woman? love is patient and kind and forgiving and long-suffering when all else/others fail us. you say she nags and then she hits you. take a moment and listen to her, to what she has to say about what she thinks, how she feels, what she needs, how she loves you, etc. when a woman feels ignored by her lover/husband only he can cure it, and you can only cure her by giving her what she needs which is your attention and renewed interest in her. never forget to see your wife as the girl you met. her appearance might change with time but at heart she will always be the girl who fell inlove with you and you the boy who swept her off her feet. also try some anger management classes, you realize you have a problem and i don't think you wanto hurt your wife badly.
2007-02-20 02:16:34 · answer #8 · answered by maryamalizmarie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a name for these "fits of blows". It is called Domestic Violence and you can both be arrested for it by the police.
What should you do?
--distance yourself, walk away, take a walk, spend the night away.
--both of you can invest in your future by going to a marriage counselor and/or taking an "Anger Management Class"
2007-02-20 02:08:16 · answer #9 · answered by Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
document it.
get a witness if at all possible.
call the police
call someone and leave the phone laying there while she's abusing you to get some kind of proof,.
DON"T ASSAULT HER. otherwise you'll always be in the wrong
counseling, anger management, divorce, separation for a while
2007-02-20 01:45:05 · answer #10 · answered by tomiyo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you both need cousling once the hitting starts it WILL CONTINUE been there done that if this marriage is that violent you both need to get away from each other and start counsling to work out the problem. but stay away from each other till you can talk with each other calmly.
2007-02-20 01:49:20 · answer #11 · answered by stargazer65712 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋