Is it really wrong to want to be a female?

Question

I'm a 17 year old male who has been really depressed lately. My main reason for feeling this way is because I honestly don't like who I am. I hate the fact that I'm a male for some reason. It just eats away at me inside and I don't know what to do. The problem is I would never want to become a transsexual because it's just not natural to me. This really bothers me and sometimes I just don't know what to do. So, does anyone know of anything at all I could do to make me feel better about my gender or something?

I'm know for a fact I'm not gay. Even if I were ever to become a female, I'd be a lesbian.

Answer 1

nothing wrong with it....it's just how you feel....prepare for lots of mean comments, tho!

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with wanting to become female. I understand your desire to not want to be a transsexual. Keep in mind that transsexuals don't usually consider themselves transsexuals all that long, after a few years they are just normal women. If I were you, I would question what natural is anyways. The emphasis on doing what is natural is unhealthy, in my opinion. The house you live in isn't natural, the clothes you wear not natural, the food you eat isn't made by your own body, hence not natural, the language you talk wasn't there at birth, and the transportation you take isn't natural.

Please try to be happy in life, I know how you feel, I realized I was going to kill myself by age 20 so I recommend trying to see a therapist who specalizes in gender issues. Maybe you could just satisfy your desire by being a crossdress, or maybe you would be happier going all the way. I don't know, but I do know that there is nothing wrong with how you feel, the only thing wrong is that you are allowing yourself to feel bad when you could be happy!

Answer 3

Even if you were to go through the expense of becoming a transsexual you would still be a man. Surgery can only change your appearance not your gender. Your DNA is male and no scalpel can change that. As for your feelings about your hating who you are the best thing would be for you to seek counseling from a gender confusion specialist. Your being depressed about this thing suggests that you get help immediately. Perhaps you are gay and your accepting that fact could help you deal with the feelings. I know quite a few gay teenagers who are outgoing and free with who they are. They have accepted themselves and are fine with it. Get counseling.

Answer 4

I Color outside the lines wrote this for another question, it is worth repeating:You want a definition in SIMPLE terms? ok..then ME..I am transgendered. I am also transsexual, but I am pre-op not post-op. Confused yet? lol...let me try to straighten some things out, because it's obvious that after reading these answers, most people don't have a clue.

The word "transgendered" actually is an umbrella term that encompasses anyone who defies traditional "gender roles" of a society. This could be people who are actually transsexual, crossdressers, drag queens, drag kings, butch lesbians, tomboys, transvestites, ect. These people do not necessarily have to "dress" as the opposite gender nor do they feel they ARE the opposite gender, they just defy traditional gender roles of what "males" should do and look like and what "females" should do and act like.

Transsexual on the other hand is someone who often is diagnosed also with gender dysphoria. This is where there is an incongruency between the physical birth sex and the "brain sex" of the person. And the transsexual will go through steps to correct the physical problem, because that's the way they see it. They feel strongly that they should have been born the opposite sex from which their external genetalia displays. There are "pre-op" and "post-op" transsexuals. Pre-ops are people who are either at the beginning processes of their sex change, like with just therapy or just hormones or both, or some choose NEVER to get surgery or hormones at all, and just live as the opposite sex(which would actually be more along the definitions of transvestite, but not completely, because there's no sexual thrill coming out of it) Post-op transsexuals are those who are not living full time in the sex from which they were born, through sexual resassignment surgery and have had permanent modification of their genetials to resemble as closely as possible that of the opposite sex from which they were born.

NOW...where a LOT of people get confused is that being GAY has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with being transgendered or transsexual. Homosexuality is a SAME SEX attraction, not necessarily a SAME GENDER attraction. Confused at the difference? Think of it this way...
gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs. Our gender is WHO we are, and our sex is WHAT we are. So, two gay men are attracted to male genetalia, which is usually accompanied by male gender as well. Two lesbian women are attracted to female genitals, with female gender usually. However...not all transsexuals are "gay" before they begin their transition process. Sexual attraction has nothing to do with gender. For example..I myself, am a female to male transsexual. My entire life, I have been attracted to women sexually. So, to many people, before my transition, I would have been labeled as a "lesbian" or a "butch lesbian" more specifically. But this is not accurate because I do not see MYSELF as a woman. I see myself as a man, and see my own sexual orientation as that of a straight male. Since my transition, I still am attracted to women. But, to society NOW, since I look MALE and I like WOMEN, then in non trans people's eyes, 'man + woman = straight man and straight woman'...even though MY OWN sexual orientation hasn't changed, I've ALWAYS liked women, both as a "female" and as a male...however, *I* have always seen myself as male, so in MY mind, I've ALWAYS been a straight man, but to SOCIETY..I went from "butch lesbian" to "straight man"..but as soon as someone finds out that I was born a girl..the first thing they say is "oh, so you're a lesbian?"..no..I'm NOT a lesbian..I am a MALE who was just born in a FEMALE body..get it?
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Answer 5

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you really wanting to become a woman. Unfortunately a lot of times people are born into the wrong bodies. Luckily in our time it is possible to make the changes and become who we really are. Of course you don't do this overnight and you have to do a lot of thinking before anything is done. But you shouldn't suffer. It's time for therapy, and I mean that seriously. Pleasse talk to someone.

Answer 6

I hope this doesn't offend you , but I think you need to seek professional psychological help. I struggled with being a gay man for many years before I was able to accept the truth. A professional therapist can help you realize what it is that causes you to dislike your gender, and what might be a solution.

Answer 7

first of all, i'd go to a gender therapist... you could get all of that off of your chest, possibly get diagnosed with G. I. D. gender identity disorder) and maybe get prescribed some anit-depressants.... thats the only way you can MAYBE feel better about your gender (without becoming a 'cross-dresser'.... maybe they have miracle drugs out there that im not aware of that make you accept the body...

another way you could POSSIBLY SOLVE the body issue... is something that im trying to find out about myself... but for other reasons. it might sound silly, but ..... im serious....
have you heard/read theories/ideas about parallel universes? do you know anything about 'astral projection?' i think it would be possible to change our realities through astral projection. i think if one's astral self could FIND the parallel universe that contains our opposite sexed self - they could could trade bodies... and the astral self that you dominate right now- will live in the 'right body'....
its something to think about. ive been asking on AP forums about this, and people have just been giving me MEAN, terrible feedback...
someone recommended a book, "journeys out of the body." apparently, the author describes a similar idea... i havent gotten to the book yet, but maybe you could dig through it? again, its something to think about... like... what if we were ORIGINALLY the gender we want to be right now? what if, along time ago, we accidentally went into the wrong body? crazy stuff... but it could be our key to happiness. ..