Hmmmmmm i don't know if i can explain it any better.
2007-02-19 17:16:43 · 20 answers · asked by Martin 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Why isn't Mexico in the olympics?...
Because everyone that can swim, jump, climb, and sprint are already over the Border..
2007-02-19 17:24:46 · answer #1 · answered by mjnjtfox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dog started up the ramp to the house and got almost to the top and slipped on some ice and fell off in a big pile of ice and snow. That was freakin' hilarious! But, you probably had to be there and know that he's a 3 pound Yorkie.
2007-02-20 01:19:54 · answer #2 · answered by The Nana of Nana's 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
John gets a call from his very blonde girlfriend Buffy.
"I've got a problem," says Buffy.
"What's the matter?" asks John.
"Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" asks John.
"It's of a big rooster," replies Buffy.
"All right," says John. "I'll come over and have a look."
So he goes over to Buffy's house and she greets him by saying, "Thanks for coming over." Buffy leads John into her kitchen and shows him the jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen table. John looks at the puzzle and then turns to her and says, "For heaven's sake, Buffy, put the cornflakes back in the box."
2007-02-20 01:29:48 · answer #3 · answered by Marky Mark 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just looked at my baby he is asleep and his big toe is poking out the end of his pj's he is 7 months old guess its time to go up to a bigger size.
2007-02-20 01:21:52 · answer #4 · answered by Daisy Mae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How to do an Oil Change
Oil changes
Oil Change instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last
oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil Change $20.00
Coffee $1.00
Total $21.00
=====
Oil Change instructions for Men :
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter,
kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms.
Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and
twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil
everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in
trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket
surface.
18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19) Remember drain plug from step 11.
20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21) Drink beer.
22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty
litter on oil spill.
23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with
oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench
tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess
skin between knuckles and frame.
25) Begin cussing fit.
26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
28) Beer.
29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30) Beer.
31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32) Beer.
33) Lower car from jack stands.
34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any
missed steps.
35) Beer.
36) Test drive car.
37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38) Car gets impounded.
39) Call loving wife, make bail.
40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts $50.00
DUI $2500.00
Impound fee $75.00
Bail $1500.00
Beer $20.00
Total -- $4,145.00
But you know the job was done right!
2007-02-20 01:27:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common?
"Kurds" in their "whey."
Ha, Ha! Genocide...
2007-02-20 01:20:19 · answer #6 · answered by RoninShonen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright..
2007-02-20 01:19:21 · answer #7 · answered by ImperfectPiinkiish♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it drops out of a tree, it'll kill you?
A pool table.
2007-02-20 01:28:32 · answer #8 · answered by Natalie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm probably going to get divorced.
2007-02-20 01:20:10 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. Shrek 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go get a mirror and look at yourself, you failed at LIFE.
2007-02-20 02:13:05 · answer #10 · answered by uRdReamZ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋