My alcoholic husband goes to strip clubs when he has one of his "binges". Am I wrong to feel as though this is cheating?
2007-02-19 17:15:21 · 13 answers · asked by hazygirl_rvt 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know the source of the problem is his drinking - like I said, he's an alcoholic. He's been through treatment, and I'm wondering if the strip clubs is yet another addiction. Does the alcohol addiction and the strip club addiction go hand in hand?
2007-02-19 17:35:28 · update #1
No you shouldn't feel wrong; in fact, you are right on. There are many different kinds of male alcoholics and the most dangerous are those that take off for the strip bars where they hope that some sweet young thing will make them feel like a man. The other end of the spectrum is the guy who sits in his garage drinking until its time to crawl to bed, but he doesn't have the delusion that he's still attractive to those "sweet young scantily clad things" at the nearest bar. The tummy rubbing that goes on at those places is the closest thing to committing adultery while one still has their clothes on. Of course, your husband is not the one with the problem--you know what his obsession is--it's your problem with martyr syndrome that is the biggest problem. He is only capable of doing his schenanigans as long as you provide the home to keep coming home to. He may be a falling down drunk, but you don't care how he treats you.
2007-02-19 17:36:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Often, if a person has one addiction, the probability of another addiction is good. My soon to be ex has an addiction to alcohol, drugs, and porn. As far as cheating goes, if he is having sex with anyone other than you, that's obviously cheating. If he is jacking off after he has been to the clubs and can't perform for you when he gets home, then in my opinion, that is cheating as well.
2007-02-20 00:43:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would feel as though I were being cheated on too. I hate it when my boyfriend talks to other girls without me knowing about it. He used to go online and talk to girls in chatroom and we had a serious fight about it. If he went into a strip club, I would be furious. Single men go to strip clubs, not married/devoted men. My boyfriend would never think about going to a strip club because he knows it would hurt me deeply.
How would you describe your marriage? Happy? Harmonious? If your husband is into unhealthy lifestyle habits, drinking and stripers, maybe it's time to think about what is in your best interest... You might want to think about whether or not this is where you need to be. Sometimes it takes a drastic loss to convince someone that it is time for them to change.
"You don't know what you have until you lose it."
"To thy own self be true." - William Shakespeare
2007-02-19 17:56:41 · answer #3 · answered by Makayla's Mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe not exactly cheating but disloyal to you in a way. It's normal for men to want to look but to spend lots of time doing this shows there is a problem. I know when a woman feels her mate needs to ogle other women's bodies it makes her feel hers is not good enough. And to make a woman feel bad this way is definitely disloyal. My husband used to openly ogle and flirt right in front of me and he's not alcoholic. I have left him and am in love with someone else. So your husband should be the one to worry whether he will lose you. Not the other way around. He will prob. do this the rest of his life. Is he worth going through this all the time? It will prob. get worse. I would suggest you leave him if possible. Life would be better that way. Find someone who will treat you better.
2007-02-19 17:46:46 · answer #4 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that he has a problem with drinking and you are in denial about it. You should be more concerned of him wanting to be away from you so he can go and drink. He also should be home with you and watch you strip rather than watching some stranger take off her clothes. So he might just like watching other women rather than watching you. You just need to ask him.
It is called lusting after other women.
2007-02-19 17:34:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually with drinking comes infidelity...the drinkers sense of reasoning let him do what he pleases...IF a man or a woman goes clubbing it will happen sooner or later...If a spouse cheats that is a reason to get a divorce....
2007-02-19 17:24:21 · answer #6 · answered by Brenda Soooooooooooooooooooooooo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only if he Told you about it and you let it happen again!! @8-) It All Depends On How You Feel About Marriage!! No one else can tell you that.
2007-02-19 17:26:37 · answer #7 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyones idea of cheating is different...Mine is kissing someone else..But don't be to hard on him or he will want to cheat because you will make him feel trapped..trust me i know i did it to my husband
2007-02-19 17:20:29 · answer #8 · answered by terrysgirl0206 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YES THEY DO GO HAND IN HAND AND NO YOUR NOT WRONG. WHAT HE IS DOING IS CHEATING .IF YOU FIND THE NEED TO LIE TO YOUR WIFE ABOUT WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN AND WHO YOU ARE WITH THAT CONSTITUTES CHEATING IN MY BOOK.
2007-02-19 17:49:36 · answer #9 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel teh same way! i think its cheating in a way.. i feel more disappointed than anything... like im not good enough to get his boat sailing... you need to talk to him about it ad tell him your not happy with it
2007-02-19 17:33:40 · answer #10 · answered by young, hot, and Aussie! (chick) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋