honestly is this bad or wrong of me?

Question

im 19 my boyfreind of a year is 24 we have leaved toghtor for 8 months.. i think im preg. i am peeing freq. lower back pain, and very sore swollen breast. im not sure if im preg i toook a test 4 days ago it turned up neg. but i hitnk it was too early so im going to take another test in a few days. me and my boyfriend have talked were both scared and nervous. i want to be pregnant he i belive would rather wait. but i honestly am hoping im pregnant, already loking at names and such =) i know we would be wonderful parents=) But what im ASKING is is it wrong that i honestly want to be preganant and have a baby now and start our family instead of waiting a few years?

yes honestly im ready and we can provide for the baby

Answer 1

I got pregnant with my first child at nineteen and had her at twenty. Like you I was hoping for a "mistake". I have always wanted to be a mom. Even though I was young, and most people frowned at the fact that I was having a baby so young, it was the best experience of my life. And I was ready. It's what I was born to be. You are grown enough to know what being a parent entails and if you are this excited with the thought of being a mother, I'm sure you will be a great one. However, if you are not pregnant, the wise thing to do is to be patient and wait for the right time and right circumstances. It's easy to be selfish and get pregnant just because it's something you want, but it's important to remember that you want to have your child under the best circumstances possible.

Answer 2

It's all about priorities and the individual. Is this man someone you want to spend the rest of your life loving? If you are pregnant, is he the man you want to father your child? If so, and you are pregnant... you have to focus on what is important to both of you. How will you parent? How will you raise your little one? What values do you want to teach your child/ren.

Many people have had children at your ages and become wonderful parents. And I'm sure you know more than a few who are terrible parents at your age (don't become a statistic!). I'd just challenge you to sit down and prioritize your life.
a) Do you want a degree before you have kids?
b) Do you want to be married before you have kids?
c) Do you want a certain amount in savings before you bring a child into the mix?
d) Is there a milestone you'd like to hit in your relationship with your boyfriend first?

It's definitely not wrong to want a baby. After all, you're a woman. Most (not all) women have that instinct inside of them to love and care for children. If you have that urge now, I don't think its going to go away. It's also not wrong to wait until you have your priorities and your list checked off.

1. If you are pregnant... there's no going back on it! The cards have been dealt and you get to deal with "what we'll do now" instead of the "what ifs"

2. If you're not pregnant. I challenge you to really sit down and figure out your plan together. A long honest conversation between you and your boyfriend.

best of luck!

Answer 3

It's not wrong, but don't get your hopes up. If one test came up negative, you might not be and you could be very let down. It may be selfish. You have some growing up to do before you could the best parents. If it's not something you want together, it will be a huge source of tension in your relationship and you need to ask yourself if you are ready to be a single mom. I don't know about your relationship, but after a year, it might not be stable enough to survive an unexpected pregnancy. Your boyfriend is older and knows there's more to being parents than being in a loving relationship. Finally, if you are not pregnant, don't go on an all out mission to get pregnant just because you feel ready. Then he will really resent you for "trapping" him by getting pregnant. Having kids is a mutual decision.

Answer 4

its not wrong as long as your willing to deal with reality if you are there is no going back and if he is not ready then he will not be the kind of father or partner you will need or want he may also do a whole turn around once the baby is here and be a great dad but a lousy boyfriend thinking you did this on purpose possibly or he just might do everything fine there is nothing wrong with wanting this as long as you realize the reality of the situation a baby changes everything it can make things harder and its not like on TV it will make you guys tired, fight,and scared at times to do this because you are both young but it can also be all the great things kids are but just because you want it and your happy you can not make or expect for him to be so as long as your ready to possibly feel alone then OK but if your not preg. then i would defiantly consider getting on some birth control asap so that you do not find your self in this situation till you are both a little more ready you guys have plenty of time to have kids!

Answer 5

My thought is that it's not wrong. I know when I first thought I was pregnant, I wanted soo bad for it to be true. I was in the exact same situation. I am also 19, my boyfriend just turned 24. We found out right before Thanksgiving that I was pregnant. But I know that when we had talked about it before hand that he wanted to wait a year or so...But now that we've both got over the shock of finding out that I was pregnant we're both so happy. I'm sure that if your boyfriend loves you, he will love the idea of having a family with you. It might scare him at first, but he'll accept it. I hope this helps. If you want to talk, feel free to send me a message. :) Hope everything works out for you.

Answer 6

if you think you are honestly ready to make this huge committment than whos to say what age is the "right" age to start a family?? i am 23 and just had my first child, just keep in mind this is a huge huge responsibility. your life will change in the biggest ways you could imagine. i am still dealing with all the changes i didnt expect but i wouldnt change it for anything. All i can say is sit down and have a long talk about the pros and cons of having a child, if your bf is not 100% sure this is what he wants than consider waiting awhile i know i couldnt do all this without my fiance. Good luck

Answer 7

I concur with

"a) Do you want a degree before you have kids?
b) Do you want to be married before you have kids?
c) Do you want a certain amount in savings before you bring a child into the mix?
d) Is there a milestone you'd like to hit in your relationship with your boyfriend first?"

...sort of; I mean, I think as many of those things as possible should be in place. Education, a good, stable relationship, and money are key. It's possible to do it without one. It's hard to do it without two. But trying to do it without all three just looks nightmarish.

A year, at 19, does not make for a stable adult relationship. And, given that he'd rather wait -- I can't advise you strongly enough to pay attention to that.

Given your post, further education would be a good idea. Do you really want to have trouble teaching your child(ren) to write?

I don't know about your income situation, but.

Ask yourself what's wrong with waiting instead of what's wrong with not waiting.

Answer 8

If you are pregnant you already are a mom- adoption could be an option. Do not consider abortion- you put yourself in the position of becoming pregnant so you are both parents now, if you are pregnant. It is not wrong to want to be pregnant. That is a good thing- many women do not want to be. Take care and God bless

Answer 9

its not wrong. just make sure you are in a finicaly compfortable spot in life, able to pay the bills on only his income for instants ( if you have to go out of work, or dont want to work after baby) make sure you have insurance (although there is medical for free) just make sure you and him are going to be together for a long time, and have a loving stable home for the baby, whenever you decide to have a baby (assuming you arent already) good luck. dont let anyone tell you that you are too young. i had my first baby at 20 and my husband was 24. good luck

Answer 10

Everything Happens For Reasons


Good Luck!