What should my husband and I do? My step daughter was told by her birth mom "you are the biggest mistake I have ever made".
Normally it would be about one-upping the evil ex, but with this situation that is not even a consideration. The only thing that matters is the well being of our children. How can we help our daughter? Should we confront the evil birth mom? Should we take this to court and seek custody? My daughter-by-marriage is 15 years old.
2007-02-19 16:41:19 · 6 answers · asked by Wildflower 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Strength and reassurance should be 1st to let her know that you care and support her and identify with her. And at her age, maybe explaining to her that Mom was having a bad day and really didn't mean it. If this is an on-going thing, discuss with daughter that you and dad will stand up for her but only if she wants to do that as well. Don't fall into the crevice of pitting mom against step-mom. At 15, sometimes they unconciously look for ways to "one-up" and then get back on mom's side later and make you the bad guy.
Since details are limited, just make sure that she has explained the entire situation to you two and that you can see it is evidently not just a mom acting out in a fret of anger that she may regret later. Watch carefully the daughter's dismeanor and listen to her. Be very aware of if these things start to or are affecting her emotionally. And of course, a 3rd person face to face conversation with a professional is not out of the question. This can give more insight into whether or not seeking custody is a healthy alternative for her. Keep in mind, to gain custody isn't overnight and daughter will be of age before you know it.
2007-02-20 07:47:53 · answer #1 · answered by Denise D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
th birth mom is probably jelous of the relationship that you and your husband are having with your step daughter. i agree with you when you have children biologically or by marriage your life resolves around them. you want to protect them in any way. my advise would be for you and your husband have a talk with your step daughter and see what she wants to do. if she wants to be with you and your husband you might be able to since she is over the age of 13. she has a decision to weater to be with her birth mom or birth dad. but before taking any drastic mesures, please talk to her and listen to what she has to say. she might be hesitant about the situation since she will have to choose between her mother and her father, but just remind her that she will always be loved no matter where she is.
2007-02-19 17:00:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a terrible thing to say to a child.I am not sure on the court. but you can assure her that she will always have a place in your heart and home no matter what. Also st this age doesn't the child have a choice in the decision as to where she will live. I know different rules in different countries. best of luck.
2007-02-19 17:19:22 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAVE A FAMILY DISCUSSION FIRST WITH THE STEP MA DAD AND DAUGHTER, THAN WITH 3 PARENTS, THAN ALL 4
2007-02-19 17:38:48 · answer #4 · answered by sensation 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry that she said that, you dont hurt a child like that, that was
just wrong, but if you and your husband can get custory of her
then i would go to court and see what can be done. this will
destroy this girl if something is not done.
2007-02-19 17:00:21 · answer #5 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes because the child didn't ask to be born.The mother needs to be smacked.Life is so tough for kids That one comment could do so much damage.OH i hate when a child is abused that way.My kids cause me pain but they also keep me totally sane.Give the girl a hug and make sure she is loved.and wanted. please give her a hug for me my heart is hurting for her.
2007-02-19 18:17:12 · answer #6 · answered by speedy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋