This evening, the husband of the woman my ex had an affair with 18 yrs ago stopped by just to say hi and tell me how his life was going. He and I reminisced about our lives and caught up on how we are doing and I felt very comforted by the visit. We both divorced our spouses and they married and it ended up in a nasty divorce.
I raised 2 kids alone and he remembers the misreable times I went thru and I felt comforted by his understanding of how hard it was to raise 2 kids alone with nothing but a prayer and welfare.
My children are both adults and on their own.
I am not sure if I am attracted to him or if its just a comfort to be around someone who understands the hell I have been thru..
I think he will probably be back for a visit because he asked my phone number. Would it be wrong to date someone like him? We have both been thru so much. It brings back a flood of memories. We cried on each others shoulders. He was married x 18 yr. We are both single.
2007-02-19 16:33:34 · 20 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We get along very well. He just had bypass surgery and nearly died from a heart attac. He totally has his act together. I have never experienced pure honestly like I do with him.
It comes from being put thru hell by 2 people who are just the scum of the earth....still. We didnt discuss them this evening. Just how good we are both doing.
2007-02-19 16:51:47 · update #1
Hi there...
You know, i'm so proud of you. You raised your children alone plus the hard times you carried 18 years ago?! Well, you’re so tough. About your question, well I think you deserve to be happy after those hard times you’ve been through. Maybe now both of you know how to adjust and to handle a good relationship but you have to be sure about your feelings now if you don’t want to have a miserable life again. Your children are old enough to understand you but of course you have to talk to them sincerely. About the guy, i’m sure that there is a reason why you met again..All you have to do is to be true to your self and to your feelings....
There’s nothing wrong with going out with him if both of you are singles...
Good luck.. May happiness and Love be with you...
2007-02-19 16:57:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with some human companionship, you have been though a lot and so has he, and it might draw you to until a relationship or you can be friends, take it slow and feel it out, You both are older as you were married more than 18 years ago and so by now you know what you want in a relationship and you should try. There is nothing you can lose by pursuing something that might be the best thing that ever happened.
2007-02-19 18:04:52 · answer #2 · answered by Hawaiisweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You 2 certainly helped each other out during a terrible time in your lives and from that grew a great mutual respect and you know each others background which is even better. If this guy rings you and asks you out to dinner, go for it. This man has been through the same pain you have. Could turn out to be something amazing. Good luck.
2007-02-19 16:40:58 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm very sorry to hear about that, infidelity is never an easy thing to deal with. it sounds like the comfort would be nice. i hear you saying that you would possibly like that understanding form someone who has been in your situation, however, this man was invovled in this EXACT situation. while this may seem comforting now, you may have to consider that he may also always remind you of the pain and agony you endured so long ago. you may not want to relive some of those feelings. perhaps you never dealt with those feelings completely. its sounds like this relationship could be based on something that won't last. once those what's beyond those feelings of comfort? is there enough to sustain a relationship? this sounds like it would make a great friendship. don't shut him out, you could both benefit from this relationship, perhaps just not romantically. use your judgment and your wisdom, best of luck.
2007-02-19 16:43:40 · answer #4 · answered by lalie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the glass half empty or half full?
You can remember the tragedy back then that tore two families apart and left two innocent people seaching for answers and a way to carry on with their lives.
Or you can treasure the sacrafices that was made back then which was repaid in the form of true happiness, comfort and the ultimate joy ......which is companionship and conversation.
I hope he's a keeper!
2007-02-19 17:15:05 · answer #5 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think it would be a great idea to give him a shot. If you really enjoy being around him, why not? It really feels good to be able to have somebody to talk to that understands. He can help you and the way you feel too because he knows what it is like. Hey girl, you have nothing to lose and you have everything to gain, so give him a chance. He could be that special someone you have been looking for!
2007-02-19 16:45:09 · answer #6 · answered by ibleedorange 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would it be wrong? HELL NO! At what point in your life is the hell gonna stop? Answer: when you stop taking responsibility for other people's mistakes and internalizing them as your own. Now if you date this man will people talk about it? You bet, but hey, let em talk. Give them bastards something to talk about, dont worry about them, the kids the neighbors, the people at church. Let the whole world talk about it, and let em know that you are finished talking people's ****. It's YOUR Life, get out and live it. And here's my take on memories: they are only as valuable as you are flexible. In other words if you can't make room for new memories that push old ones aside, then you aren't living life to its fullest. You only go around the rock once girl. MAKE IT COUNT!
2007-02-19 16:43:46 · answer #7 · answered by Vivid C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a sweetheart. It is amazing what the choice of the two cheaters made affected so many people. But, karma will take care of that.
I say enjoy his friendship and if it turns to romance then that is wonderful. You both just might find a happy ending to a difficult situation beyond your control.
I wish you well.
2007-02-19 17:25:57 · answer #8 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...there is nothing wrong with the 2 of you dating. You 2 were both innocent in the situation. If anything its a great example of Karma on the both of your exes. Even if it is 18 yrs later:)
2007-02-19 16:38:59 · answer #9 · answered by maria s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think this man totally understands what u have been through because he went through the same thing. if your both single this could be the start of something wonderful. listen to your intuition here, as our intuition is never wrong. good luck, and u deserve some happiness in life, maybe now it is finally your turn to get it.
2007-02-20 00:53:36 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋