she is my wife, she left me 2 years ago and i can't bring myseld to divorce her, i need help, real help
2007-02-19 16:18:52 · 16 answers · asked by peehand1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think that she has all ready left you. after 2 years it time to move
on she has, sorry to say this but the love is gone. time for you
to let her go.
2007-02-19 16:23:24 · answer #1 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sugar....it sounds like you are walking through life dragging a big rock chained to your soul. How do you expect your life to change and be happy again?
Let me try to help.
FIrst...go and buy the book "How to Heal Your Heart in 30 Days". It was written by 2 men who don't mince words. It is a very easy read and if you do a bit of the writing exercises...you will certainly notice a shift into healing mode. You will be shocked at what you come up with! It truly is a powerful book.
Second...there is something you maybe don't realize. When we have pain like this...we think that by actually letting go for real...that the pain will overwhelm us. But...if you actually allow yourself to feel the pain intensely, realize that she doesn't love you enough to stay your wife...and is gone for good...suddenly you realize that the pain of hanging on...was worse than the pain of letting go. There is healing when you truly release something that is dead anyway.
You may still love her...but you must love someone enough....to let them choose a different journey than you envisioned. She choose a different path...and it doesn't include you. You need to take a breath...and understand that everything happens for a reason.
She...bless her...is allowing you the gift of finding someone who adores you completely. For whatever reason... the relationship broke up. Learn from your mistakes...and you will be of stronger character.
If you can not do this on your own...then please seek short-term counseling. You need to face your feelings. No amount of denial...is going to bring her back. Not divorcing her...will not change the reality of the situation. Go straight into the grief...and then let it go.You are only hurting yourself honey.
It's sad and tragic when someone we love chooses to move on. But you are immobilizing yourself and chaining you both to a life where good stuff can not come in. I believe you are probably avoiding the anger and hurt that is buried. That is most likely why you are hanging on. That way you don't have to face it. This is where you might need some extra help. It's ok to be angry about what happened.
Please get more support...maybe there is a men's resource center in your area. You are not alone and many, many people have a tough time like you are. Stay strong...reach out. You can get through this... and beautiful things can open up in your life when we clear away the wreckage of our past.
Take good care of you.
2007-02-20 00:55:07 · answer #2 · answered by kallie m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of a breakup this way: you're one step closer to the one you're meant to be with." There are few things in life that are harder on a person than the time when they realize that the love they have worked so hard at, and spent so much time on, is finally over. For some, this realization is a complete shock and for others, they have seen the writing on the wall for some time now.There isn't a sure-fire way to mend a broken heart but there are definitely things you can to do to make it feel a bit lighter and ready for new love. First, allow yourself to feel what you need to and take all the time in the world to get over the person. For some people it may only take a few weeks to move on and others years. However long it takes, be okay with that. You can't live your life in the past, waiting for a second chance to do things differently. Doing so is only taking you away from experiencing things that could be better. Don't be scared to give love another try.So, you've found out that Miss Right isn't the soul mate you've always dreamed about. Now what? The period of loss and pain doesn't have to extend on to an eternity of what ifs. After spending a few days wallowing in self-pity, you'll probably want to start making a few steps towards life after love. To help ease this transition, try a few of the following ideas.Letting loose on your emotions is a quick and self-healing way to recover from incidents of loss and pain. This is especially true of keeping a journal. Make a commitment to write for at least a few minutes every day.Keep your mind busy with new information. Whether you decide to learn a new word or how to do something new on your computer, it will help you keep moving forward instead of looking back.Get yourself out and about with a 20 to 30 minute walk. Just the constant, repetitive motion of moving your legs one after another is enough to help you put things in perspective.Just because you are not attached to someone doesn't mean you can't enjoy going out. Think of it as a chance to go to all the places you've always wanted to go.Maybe there is something you've always wanted to learn how to do. Now is the perfect opportunity to develop it! Try anything from bicycling, joining a walking club, sewing, bodyboarding or surfing, learning how to watercolor, or cooking.Don't feel bad that its been two year's each person is diff and this kind of thing affect's us all in diff ways...best wishes
2007-02-20 00:29:14 · answer #3 · answered by rebelicious_angel228 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1) Do you still have contact with her?
- If so, does she want a divorce?
If she wants a divorce, then divorce is your only option, it takes two people to have a realtionship and if one party doesnt want one it doesnt really exist.
- If not, how long are you willing to wait?
Depending on how the situation ended, are you intrested in persueing relationships with someone else? Then there is your answer. If there isnt something specific on the horizion, what if a new person enters your life tommorow, would they be understanding of your situation. I would suggest having a date, set aside, that is your cut off date for how long you are willing to wait.
Either way, you arent going to find the help you really need on Yahoo Answers, I suggest finding a local psychologist, counceller, or clergy person (if you are religious) to discuss your situation, and emotional state.
2007-02-20 00:38:19 · answer #4 · answered by sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her??? How can you leave her if she left you 2 years ago . She abandoned you so divorce her and be done with it. She is never coming back to you so you need to face reality and realize that. You may need counseling and help for how you are feeling too as i am sure this is very hard for you. Hugs to you today and i hope things will get better for you soon. The sooner you let her go the better you will be for it and you will someday be able to move on with your life.
http://www.drphil.com
2007-02-20 00:30:51 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to hear this. If she left you 2 yrs ago, you should respect her wishes. And worry aout you, get counseling if your having a hard time. Whatever is meant to be will be. I know it sounds crazy and difficult. But sometimes things aren't picture perfect. Someone has a change of heart. Just do the right thing and you never know what will happen in the future. Talk to a therapist if you really are having difficulty. It helps.
2007-02-20 00:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by maria s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, ask yourself if you can really love someone who has abandoned you. Possibly for someone else, or just to get away from you. In either case, after 2 years she has already started over. You have to acknowledge that and understand too that until you divorce her (depending on what state you live in) what's yours is hers and she can take it from you pretty easy. If nothing else, do it to protect yourself. Nothing keeps you from seeing the error of your ways later and possibly reuniting.
2007-02-20 00:28:37 · answer #7 · answered by Lightshow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to let go and realize that this woman you call your wife left you two years ago so let it go and give her the divorce she's not going to come back if she was she would of did it by now
2007-02-20 00:26:28 · answer #8 · answered by Juliaysha247 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she still coming around or something?
If so, have a talk with her, letting her know that you still love her and don't really want to but need to move forward.
Let her know that you will always love her.
You don't get Mrs. Right, by hanging on to Mrs. Wrong.
Unless, of course she is planning to come back to you?
Well good luck.
2007-02-20 00:25:57 · answer #9 · answered by jamz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you need to move on and know that it will be the best for you and that you will find someone down the road you will love and then you will forget the heartache and hurt. Good Luck!
2007-02-20 00:29:43 · answer #10 · answered by LSD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to start thinking reality, your wife is not coming back to you. You need to move on with your own life and start thinking about yourself. Just let her go.
2007-02-20 00:58:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋