If you file a court order to get joint custody 50% visitation do you still have to pay child support?

Question

I would like to know this, PLEASE... because my husband pays child support every month to his son's mother and she just swindles the money in the wind at the beauty salon, nail salon, buys big car rims, etc. And my step son calls us every week for money for things he need, which we do not mind it, but why should we have to give her the finer things in life while her son, OUR SON , must continue to need, need, need, what is child support for then? Is child support for the mother to have extra money to do what ever she wants with it. Every time I buy a new car, go on a nice vacation, a nice piece of jewelry, or anything... she goes to her case worker and demand more money. When I bought a new car, the next month she got a new SUV and demanded more money. Also let me not forget her son, OUR SON do not live with her at least 5 days a week only maybe 2, or 3 to 4 days out of the month. Yes! I am not joking. A couple days out of the month. Our son tells us she is too busy with a lot men.

Answer 1

well if Child Support has an arrrears on it, she has a right to squeal if you go buy big items while crying poor-mouth. and that small amount of child support isnt going to herself, you should know better then that.

you pay what? 400? 600? 900?

ok, lets see...
rent; 1000
electric 300
food 400-600
diapers 75-150 per month (fluctuates when baby is sick or teething)
heat 300
phone/cable 100
auto; (for doctors, dentists, take to school when they miss the bus, pick up when sick, pick up medicines, get food) 200
clothing/shoes/boots 200-400 every 2 to 3 months (seasonal and they grow)

that doesnt even include dental, doctors, glasses, daycare, hair cuts, school supplies, school projects, class trips, class pictures, over the counter medicines, prescriptions, laundry det, dish det, cleaners, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, christmas, easter, halloween, tooth fairy, birthdays, etc. and sooo much more.

try calling 1-800- I CANT ADD

but if the child is living with you, i would call the caseworker and ask for a review of the case, a new hearing to evaluate all of it.

DEADBEATS
http://www.wantedposters.com/deadbeats_usa_a_to_f.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/creep/deadbeatparentssuck/
http://www.deadbeatjustice.com/list.htm

CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATORS
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html

LAWS
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/states.htm
http://www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/statebystate.htm
http://www.divorcenet.com/states
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.divorcecentral.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/
http://www.divorceinanutshell.com/
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-laws/state-child-/
http://www.supportguidelines.com/resources.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/links.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/articles/news.html
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/
http://www.spiesonline.net/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html

REGIONAL FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT OFFICES
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html

FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/fct4.htm
http://www.divorcesource.com/WI/ARTICLES/beaulier11.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/opa/fact_sheets/cse_factsheet.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/index.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/faq.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/faq/faq.htm
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/grants/grants_cse.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/index.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal
http://www.fedstats.gov/qf/
http://www.fedworld.gov/gov-links.html
http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/pfs92/ch3.htm

CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
http://www.childsupportliens.com/

COLLECTORS
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/links.html
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml

TAX INFO
http://www.taxsites.com/index.htm
http://www.divorceinfo.com/taxes.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/advocate/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p525/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://money.cnn.com/2007/02/14/pf/taxes/do_not_miss_tax_breaks/index.htm?postversion=2007021411

REPORT DEADBEATS
WORKING UNDER THE TABLE
(in writing, to your local and federal IRS offices)
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/compliance/enforcement/article/0,,id=106778,00.html

SEX OFFENDERS
http://www.mapsexoffenders.com/
http://www.scanusa.com/
http://www.nsopr.gov/
http://www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp

Answer 2

This I know from researching the topic.

The minute that he pays the money it is hers, she is supposed to buy things for the child but if she doesn't then she doesn't. I know it is hard but if he calls and asks for more things you have to tell him no, that shows that while you are giving them money you still have more. Does she have full custody, if she does then he should be with her the majority of the time, but you can get that changed, so what if you get another car, it shows that you can save money, Child support is for the child but what happens once it goes into an account can not be accounted for unless she is buying drugs and then you can go to the court. If you have primary custody and are still paying her money then it probably isn't that much. Just because you are getting new things the Child Support shouldn't go up. The only way it goes up is if your husband is making more money and then it is a certain percentage that also counts in how many days a week the child is in the care of the custodial and non custodial parent. You need to go to the court and bring it before a judge. You can't tell her where to spend the money, trust me it is hard and I wish you could but that doesn't happen. If he only lives with her that many days a month then there is something going on because then you are the custodial parent and if anything she should be paying you child support, or is he paying Alimony? If he is paying Alimony that is a totally different situation, but yeah you need to go to the court. It doesn't matter over under 50 percent.

In my situation this is what happens, as long as she has over 111 days a year then we still have to pay her, if it is under that then the laws are different. I don't know what state you are in or anything and so I can't tell you exactly what the laws are. A lot of lawyers will give you a free consultation.

Answer 3

The answer will vary depending on the state in which you live, but in general once an order of support is in place it is next to impossible to get an order for neither parent to pay support to the other.

Some states have a form you can file which will call for an accounting of the support money. If under those circumstances you can prove fiduciary impropriety there is a chance you might get the support amount reduced. This is a long shot. In general, once you pay the support the courts view it as none of your business what she does with the money.

How old is the child? If the child is old enough there is a chance the child could request to live with you rather than the other parent. If the child requests and you have sufficient evidence that the child would be better off with you there is a possibility that the court would grant that and require the other parent to pay you support.

One final word of advise: Custody fights cost tens of thousands of dollars and generally last for several years. Would that be in the best interest of the child and can you afford it. If not, don't waste your time and money.

Answer 4

I don't know about the states you are discussing but I know in NH there is an RSA on the law books that refers to this situation and it allows for non-support of equal custody arrangements. I know because I used it. And I was the mother and didn't want help from the ex. There were other stipulations regarding clothing and medical coverage etc but they were separate from child support. There is a difference between legal custody and physical custody. Most divorces have 50/50 legal custody but physical can go either way.

Answer 5

The money sent for child support is suppose to be just that....Child Support. Not beauty parlor or nail salon visits. If you KNOW that's what she's doing, you can get a lawyer involved. But the amount of money paid was decreed by the court, and that has to be obeyed, until that decree is changed by a court. To do that effectively you need to get a lawyer who knows how to file the proper papers.

Being a step mom isn't easy. I've been down that road, and I can definitely sympathize.

Answer 6

Ohhhhh!!!! Nena, you have awakened the past for me. I just began living life in a different pair of shoes. You should not allow this to continue in such a fashion. Abuse is abuse. You could always get evil and start raining on her parade. I know God doesn't like ugly but I must say, that baby need you and his father. And where is he in this soap opera. I could feel the hater in that woman. Her next step is to break your home up. If this continues you won't have a husband. Do you have any kids with him? How old is this child? And march into court to change the arrangement if it is not suitable for THE CHILD!!! There's a book out there. What you need to know about child custody. Get it., Use it . Get mean and fight.

Answer 7

Based on what I'm reading, your husband is paying child support for his son only. He shouldn't be paying child support period, IMHO. The child's mother should be the one paying it because his son is with you two most of the time. What yall have isn't joint custody. Joint custody would be like the step-son staying with his mother during the summer and with you two during the school year and him staying with his mother on weekends and with you two weekdays.

I would definitely get with a lawyer who is familiar with child support cases and try to get those payments significantly reduced or stopped altogether and have her pay child support. She is clearly getting over your husband and is wrong for taking the child support money and spending it on herself. That is supposed to go toward the well-being of the child.

You also need to get the judge to review how that money is spent. Your step-son may be able to testify and tell how she is spending/wasting the money.

Best of luck to you. I clearly see a case of fraud here in my opinion.

Answer 8

Gather your facts before you go anywhere near a court. Get clear evidence of what is going on, keep records, notes about phone calls from your son, day time of call, bank records of all money sent to him and to his mother. Then go for the court order and if you can prove he is living with an unstable women who brings home lots of men try to get full custody as well. Remember it is easy to get emotional because of the hurt but you need clear hard facts devoid of emotions to sway the court

Answer 9

get an attorney and go for some support, what she is doing with the child support is wrong, but a judge will tell you child support is reimbursement for what she has allready paid for , for the child, but you say shes not doing for the child, so i would take the money and go get an attorney, my bet is she has way too many expenses to stay looking good for all them men and her new suv payments, grab that attorney now while she has no money to get a good one anyway, good luck its nice to see a step mom fighting for her step child, should be more women like you , she may be his birth mother but it dont make her MOM

Answer 10

The person who has the child living with them, gets the child support. So yes, your husband would still have to pay. He would need to go to court and change the residency of the child to be his house, then she would have to pay him child support.