is this a good poem?
~!*!~Lost friend~!*!~
You’re worth more than the pot of gold
At the end of the rainbow
I love so much
And this I want you to know
I don’t want to loose you
Like I lost my dad
I can’t even think that way
It makes me way to sad
I know you’re pissed
And upset right now
I want to make it better
But I don’t know how
I’ve tried all
I can try
Expect to say
Good bye
I don’t want that
To happen to us
That is way to
Much of a fuss
If that is how
You feel
Then that just makes me like
A banana you don’t want to peel.
2007-02-19 14:44:04 · 20 answers · asked by Jess 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Please answer this truthfuly! Juss dont be to mean about it please.
2007-02-20 10:34:43 · update #1
Sorry I see most poetry as empty pretension.
2007-02-20 12:14:27 · answer #1 · answered by tenbadthings 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like this. It's a good way to express yourself and put on paper what words can't say themselves. I have two suggestions:
1) Fix your spelling errors
2) Try to think of another ending. The rest of the poem is good and you should end with something that really brings your point across.
Good job.
2007-02-27 16:55:59 · answer #2 · answered by EvilLaughingLeprachaun08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear ask er,
It looks like you really cared about her and I know how it feels to lose a friend. You know when I lost my friends all I did was say "Nanasi (one of my lost best friend) I'm sorry I acted like a drama queen. You don't need to stop playing with Jackie(A.K.A. Wacky the teachers stuck up pipsqueak that tries to all of my friends because she's jealous of me.)you just have to be my friend if you want to. Then, suddenly we where friends again. When my other friend, Yahaira, came I tolled her the same thing and you know what happen after that, but the point is that all I did was talk to them.
2007-02-27 20:53:19 · answer #3 · answered by gloria_del_rosario@yahoo.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but to tell you frankly its not a good poem,I hope you will not get mad at me because i'm just telling the truth.Some words are not ryme and as i read the poem i have hard time understanding it.The flow of the thought are not sequence.
2007-02-27 22:51:55 · answer #4 · answered by cro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really good poem i just wouldnt use the pissed part i would change that word if u r going to give this to a boy you might even win his heart back
2007-02-27 19:23:01 · answer #5 · answered by Brooklyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i love it, i have portrayed this as a true story, as a way of dealing with your feelings. i do this to. i love to write poems, whether they are happy or Sad, they help me.That is why i Love this poem, because it is so truthful. because although i can't relate to what the poem is about, i can relate to trusting poems, to trusting that poems help. i would love for you to read my poems if you can find them. i have posted 4 on here. thank you. I'd love to read any others you have aswell. Katie xx
2007-02-27 05:33:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a good poem, but you have some spelling errors.
Also, I am not so sure of the ending. See if you can think of a better last sentence.
2007-02-24 15:49:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there are more "yay"s on here than "nay"s. That should help you feel good. But it rhymes in some spots and not others. Also, the words seem to be forced to rhyme. It's nice but keep trying.
2007-02-27 17:07:51 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i liked it. you're expressing yourself in a healt-felt way. obviously this person means a lot to you...i do the same thing; i write poems to express myself too. keep putting the effort in though. as time goes on, your writing skills will inprove.
2007-02-27 11:47:42 · answer #9 · answered by desireme112 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is heartfelt and expressive well done!
Everybody has their own view on whats good and what's not so dont be surprised if you get a few negatives!
2007-02-27 09:36:58 · answer #10 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋