I am ethnic,with origins from an island state, and I moved to the bigger America after I married a North American.
My in-laws love me as a whole, but my bro-in-law is driving me nuts. He seems to behave nicely to me,but I believe he's doing it only for the sake of his brother(my husband).His oppinions about our interracial marriage shows when he occasionally spits his steoretypish views in conversations. He looks annoyed and interrupts whenever my husband wants to talk about our future holidays in my beautiful, tropical country. He is always putting me down about the positive things I say about my country. He showed discontent about our future ambitions to invest in a business back in my country, which is a tax haven. His attitude was showing that he thinks my country is too inferior in every way!. My husband invited him on holiday with us to my islands, but he had many excuses. I get the impression that he wanted my husband to marry an American woman???
2007-02-19 12:09:37 · 15 answers · asked by She-whom-shall-not-be-named 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Added with the emotional turmoil of leaving home, my bro-in-law's attitude is severly damaging my self-esteem and I get depressed after we visit other.
2007-02-19 12:12:49 · update #1
My bro-in-law has a live-in galfriend, and they just had a baby(a blessing). I can't understand why he should be jealous, if that is what is is between us???
2007-02-19 12:26:06 · update #2
My husband thinks I'm overreacting, and denies that his brother means any harm.They grew up very close, and I can understand he wants evrybody to get along.
2007-02-19 12:31:53 · update #3
Your brother-in-law is probably insecure, and might think more of you than his own girlfriend, so, to cover it up, he puts you down so that he can find faults in you and appreciate his girlfriend more. I wouldn't worry too much about it, but ignore him, and remember, you're the better person here. And plus, if I'm wrong, and he really did want your husband to marry an American woman, your husband went against your brother's wishes and chose you, so you win. Hope this helps!
2007-02-27 10:42:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother-in-law seems insecure and threatened, but maybe not a racist, per se. It's unfortunate that he is driving a wedge in relationships. Besides praying for him, the situation and yourself, you probably have to think about spending less time in his company. If you do quietly present the tax advantages of your business idea, he might come around. You can also let him see the high value your culture places on family, and he will probably come to admire that. It may take time, but if you and your husband maintain your strong married relationship and present a united front, he will realize that he was wrong to try and drive a wedge between you. In some manner, perhaps your husband can spend some alone time with him just bonding and he will feel less threatened. If all of that doesn't work, it's unfortunate but your marriage vows usually include something about "foresaking all others".
2007-02-19 13:34:45 · answer #2 · answered by Misty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he is a typical American what do you expect? They are really racist, whether you like it or not... But then again I suggest you talk to him ask him straight up if he is bothered with you and your holiday, business plans or even when you talk about your country. But I say just don't bother, maybe he is jealous of his brother which happens to be your husband. And putting someone down only boost up their self-esteem and that is what he has been doing, (You know there are such thing as siblings rivalry, some have direct approach and some do it indirectly, and that's the case with your bro in law). And let me tell you he is doing one hell of a great job at that indirect approach. Anyways don't worry, you have the rest of the family and your husband on your side, nothing can beat that...
2007-02-27 07:34:56 · answer #3 · answered by tasyreen 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The people who assume we're racist because we enforce the laws are either ignorant or do not know all the problems the illegal immigrants are causing for our country. Most people just watch these stories on the news and assume "That's so racist and mean, I'd never do that." but they really should learn more about it before they start saying that kind of stuff.
2016-05-24 18:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that some people are so much in need of self esteem that the only way they can feel better about "self" is to downgrade others. Pray to you higher power to help your in-law. Thank your higher power for creating you. May my higher power bless you and yes, your in-law also. I am Afro-American and have dealt with racism all my life. I know how you feel.
2007-02-25 10:16:45 · answer #5 · answered by ronaldsbirth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Got a single sister?
LOL
Yeah, your brother-in-law has a problem.
It might be racism, then again maybe not. It just might be that he is jealous of what his brother has. He might be jealous that his brother has gotten married to a great girl and maybe he hasnt yet. Is your brother in law married yet? If so is he happy with his marriage/wife?
Have you talked to your husband yet about this issue? Explain it to him, maybe he will tell his brother to chill out.
2007-02-19 12:15:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to ignore him the best you can. His opinion doesn't really count anyway! If you and your husband are happy, he should be grateful to you for making his brother happy. I think most people (Americans too) are taught to think their country is better than everyone else's. It takes an objective person to know that what they've been taught might not be true.
2007-02-26 08:28:23 · answer #7 · answered by wondermermaid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother-in-law sounds like a jerk. They can't really be changed. However, you should just continue being the same nice person you seem to be. You don't want to put yourself on his level. You might talk to your husband about his brother's behavior. He then might want to say something to him. If he won't accept your invitations to your island, he's the one losing out. Just stop issuing them. He might change his tune.
2007-02-19 12:14:57 · answer #8 · answered by Purdey EP 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're brother in law may be a part of your family, but he isn't necessarily part of your marriage. Your marriage is between you and your husband. If you love each other, though it may hurt, ignore others in yours or his family that don't like it.
2007-02-27 11:45:49 · answer #9 · answered by jorst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a loser to be ignored.
you and your husband need to have your own life together, and if your bro-in-law can't accept you, your hubby should side with you. He sohuld have known his bro well enough before you hooked up, so he in effect did choose you over him already.
you're not the one who made him choose, his bro did. but now that this situation exists, he needs to handle it, and tell bro to shape up or butt out.
2007-02-19 12:14:30 · answer #10 · answered by kent_shakespear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋