I never hurt anybody's feelings. This new person - a girl, is cutting me repeatedly and treating me offensively. We both are of same seniority. I tried to avoid her. But even in the slightest conversation, she manages to hurt me. There is no reason why she should do this. its affecting my mind very much. I am not spontaneous in responses. i cant think of a good response for hers immediately. I would be glad if somebody help me
2007-02-19 11:02:06 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
unfortunately i have encountered people like this many times myself. Your co-worker is a bully plain and simple and the only reason that girl does that to you is because she can, because your letting her. This may be uncomfortable but very nessesary, you have to get to her level and kind of in her face and tell her you are not going to be treated this way. I will promise you she will be shocked and probably pissed off but will seriously think twice about doing it again. After the initial confrontation, just ignore her as much as possible and if she starts up, cut her off and remind her your not going to take it. If you try to talk to her calmly she will try to make you feel like your crazy or deserving of her behavior and the worst will be she will pretend to be offended and make you feel guilty, and to top it off tell everyone how you offended her. Bullies rarely get confronted and when they do, in some twisted way the respect it.
2007-02-19 11:23:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am very much the same. Maybe I am bitter but I am starting to learn that some people are just stupid and some have bad days. Trust me, I really understand where you are coming from. Just ignore her. Be safe in the knowledge that you will find that you have more friends than her. I have found that people used to try and push me because I was quiet, but that doesn't mean you are weak, it just means that you are probably more kind. Just stay out of her way. Don't let her offend you. It sounds easier said than done but you can teach yourself to do this.
2007-02-19 11:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by AnchovySoden 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are laws to protect against harassment are you aware of this? .It's not sexual harassment in your case,but if this continues.. you need to speak to some one in authority.. If your getting hurt is because your "thin skinned" toughen up.. but if it's continual harassment on the part of your co-worker.. go see human resources.. Otherwise.. seek employment where you won't have to deal with people like your colleague. I haven't found a work place yet.. especially considering the different personalities we deal with daily. Good luck.
2007-02-19 11:08:52 · answer #3 · answered by xjaz1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don`t try to match her insults. You sound like a really great person and you shouldn`t sink to her level. If you want to get her to stop, you have three options. You can ask her politely to stop, you can ignore her until she gets the hint, or you can insult her and point out that she is immature. The problem is that people who insult others are almost always just insecure or self-conscience themselves. Its your choice how to react, but try to think of how it will effect or hurt her. After all, two wrongs don`t make a right.
2007-02-19 11:07:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've always struggled with that problem & have hated that so many people are mean/take advantage. I'm no expert because I still struggle with it but I have learned that you simply have to stand up for yourself in a strong way and be like they are being to you. I had a friend treat me like dirt throughout a trip and even though I'd get upset with her she wouldn't stop until the day I stood up(literally) and screamed at her very angry that I was tired of her treating me like s**t and this was going to end now! And she stopped. Demand respect. You tell them 'I will not allow you to talk to me that way'. Who do they think they are?!
2007-02-19 11:09:42 · answer #5 · answered by strawberry 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lisa E hit the nail on the head. This is one of the symptoms of low self esteem. People like that are very hard to deal with. You might find more info on low self esteem with a web search that could help you deal with this situation.
2007-02-19 11:18:38 · answer #6 · answered by normy in garden city 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time she does this, you need to stop and ask her..."Do you get your kicks from making remarks like that? Does it help your low self esteem to treat people badly?" It will probably embarass her. She probably wouldn't say things like that to you, if she thought you'd fight back. If you point it out to her, she'll probably turn red and not know what to say.
If this continues, I'd document the things she says and take it to your supervisor. You spend 1/3 of your adult life at work. You shouldn't have to put up with that crap while you're there.
2007-02-19 11:05:14 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The first thing I would try is to pull her aside quietly and discuss it with her. It may just be her manner to make snide comments. But she needs to know that you don't react well to that. Just tell her that it upsets you and ask her politely to quit.
If that doesn't solve the problem, then take action. Each time (without fail) she says something nasty, quietly excuse yourself, turn and walk away. She'll get the message.
2007-02-19 11:06:22 · answer #8 · answered by Terri J 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In your same soft spoken way tell her to grow up - she's not impressing anyone.
Stand up for yourself. She sounds like a "bully" type. If she doesn't get reported by one of your associates, I would be surprised.
2007-02-19 11:07:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you must stand up for yourself, or she will walk over you. You don't deserve this. So tell her to keep her opinions to herself. Or to stop saying these things or you will seek legal actions, for she is being abusive in the workplace, and this is against the law
2007-02-19 11:06:29 · answer #10 · answered by diamond_moon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋