proofreading help please... thank you.?

Question

I closed my eyes for no more than two seconds, praying that someone would finally appear through that door as successful, again, I was not. I opened my eyes once again to one unpleasant surprize; There, upon my wet eyes, yearning for help, were those sticky, wet creatures. I no longer knew what to do as all i felt were the cold, fuzzy legs of the eight legged insect which crawded up my legs, my arms, and even my neck! I shivered and kept my body in motion, praying that that itchy feeling of those frightful, ugly looking spides would fall off; No matter how much i tried, still, I found myself within the same possition. I felt as if this hell would never come to an end, specially once one of the spiders successfully reached my face. I felt as if death was soon to arrive once the wet, freezing legs continued to move all across my face.

Answer 1

I think I get the gist of the passage. You are telling about a spider or spiders crawling all over you. But what is "yearning for help"?
Are the spiders sticky and wet, cold and fuzzy? And then later you describe them as wet and freezing. Spiders don't move around in the cold very much, so this really doesn't make sense.
There must be more to your story than just this passage. It would help if you had said what was going on before this part, I think.
Check your spelling. surprise, crawled,spiders,position,
especially.
Keep working on it. It has a lot of potential.

Answer 2

I closed my eyes for no more than two seconds, praying that someone would finally appear through that door as successful, again, I was not. I opened my eyes once again to one unpleasant SURPRISE; There, upon my wet eyes, yearning for help, were those sticky, wet creatures. I no longer knew what to do as all i felt were the cold, fuzzy legs of the eight legged insect which CRAWLED up my legs, my arms, and even my neck! I shivered and kept my body in motion, praying that that itchy feeling of those frightful, ugly looking SPIDERS would fall off; No matter how much I tried, still, I found myself within the same POSITION. I felt as if this hell would never come to an end, ESPECIALLY once one of the spiders successfully reached my face. I felt as if death was soon to arrive once the wet, freezing legs continued to move all across my face.


THE ONES IN CAPS ARE CORRECTED!!!!!

Answer 3

If you are using Word you can always use spellcheck. You misspelled spiders, especially and position. Your sentence structure needs some work. It's awkward to read. The first sentence needs to be broken down into shorter segments like this: I closed my eyes for no more than two seconds. I prayed that somone would finally appear through that door. I failed again. (What is up with the Yoda speak?) I opened my eyes once again to one upleasant surprise. There upon my wet eyes, yearning for help, were those sticky, wet creatures. (Who's yearning for help? The wet eyes or the sticky creatures?) That should get you started.

Answer 4

Rethink your sentences before making a final copy. Nix the run on sentences and unnecessary punctuation. As-I closed my eyes for only two seconds. I prayed someone would come through the door. Still, no one came. Don't need so many descriptive words. Wet eyes, wet creatures, wet freezing. We get the general idea.

Answer 5

suprise; what sticky wet creatures?; i=
I; ugly looking spiders; I still found myself;position; especially; death was here.

Answer 6

hotdog or hamburger :: Boca burger chips or french fries :: Arby's Curly Fries mac n cheese or grilled cheese sandwich:: Grilled Cheese and Apple Sauce ketchup or mustard :: Mustard BBQ or tarter sauce:: N/A Salad or junk:: Salad cake or ice cream cake:: Ice Cream Cake which JB is your fav:: loss of existence Yahoo! suggestions or Myspace:: located IT ON MySpace

Answer 7

I think it's pretty good! Nice job! :)