What should i do? Im falling for someone I cant fall for!?

Question

He's my good friend, known him for a year and a half...he told me he loves me, (and i turned him down) and now im starting to fall for him too

BUT - its complicated...i cannot date him because my family would never approve of him...PLUS, i know that if we were an item, we would constantly argue and fight and i dont see it having a future - but i care for him so much as does he

also, im not too sure if he DOES love me, because after he told me, he said it was a joke of some sort (but he doesnt make jokes like that at all)

but i get on with him as a friend despit the countless arguments - what shall i do! He's my friend so i cant avoid him - and i dont want to avoid him...i just want to prevent myself from falling in love with him!

Ps. just so you get an idea, he's 19 and im 18

Answer 1

You seem to have made up your mind. No harm in dreaming though. And you may change your mind.

Answer 2

I think you guys should just be friends. One of the building blocks of every relationship is compatibility which is obviously lacking. People tend to look nice from a distance & you too may not get on well with countless arguments once a serios relationship starts. No offence but you guys are still too young to really understand what love is all about. As you grow there always be men professing love for you,that's just men for you.

Answer 3

Your feelings and emotions are new to you at this young age.You may fall in and out of love several times in your youth and you shouldn't worry too much about your feelings now.I was a broken hearted young man in 1970 when I received a "dear John" from my beloved. I cried like a baby.{my first tour in Viet Nam} I met a young hippie girl that told me that it was silly to cry when the number of women out there was practically endless.I married her two years later and am into our 35th year. Just goes to show that all the effort wasted on someone that may be a friend but not a soul mate may not be worth pursuing. Just accept what you two enjoy and move on. Believe me, you'll find the one you're looking for and one that is looking for you. Good luck.

Answer 4

I feel for u deeply, so what ur saying is, u could lose closeness with your family and your close friendship with him if u decided to take things to another level, if it meant losing my families respect and after a couple of months dating him and end up losing a good friend then it isn't worth it in the long run, try not to see him as a love possibility but a good friend, socialize more without him for a bit and u never know u could end up meeting a new love potential, good-luck with it all

Answer 5

Tricky one,you could give it a go,you may have arguments,all the best couples do,its a natural part of being in a relationship,BUT just think of the making up,always fun.The down side is,you could go for it,and it all turns sour,then you risk losing a good friend,I would give it a go,he only told you it was a joke to protect himself from another rejection off you,You cant stop who you fall for,your heart will always rule your head,consequently its your descision,ask yourself what you value more,his friendship,or recieving love from him,good luck.

Answer 6

u already know what u are going to do. the only reason that i see that u can't be together is the fact that u would constantly fight and argue, and as u said, this is no future.
find someone else to go out with and fall in love. if u fall inlove with this friend, u would have heartache and u would lose the friendship.

Answer 7

If you've known him for so long why are your parents against him, thats prob whats putting you off, he didn't mean it as a joke that was to save face, obviously there's a spark there for you both to feel something, you'll always wonder if you never try it tho eh? just be prepared to be adult about it it goes wrong tho ok spoiling the friendship bit, if your both mature enough that shouldn't happen, give it a go and no more wasting time to enjoy the potential love thats there for you both, you could wonder why never done it sooner. gud luck.

Answer 8

Don,t want to sound patronising but you are still young.
If you are in such a dilemma about it - just stay friends for
now and see how it progresses. You don,t say why your
family would not approve. Is it cultural differences or social?
You just said you would constantly argue and fight, so why
push this relationship further? You,re just making life a bit
complicated for yourselves.

Answer 9

This reminds me of Romeo and Juliet...and I mean seriously. You are faced with a situation in which your parents would disaprove yet you find yourself in love with the friend who told you he loved you and then quickly tried to cover what he said with a joke. This is your decision but when love is found it is perhaps better to explore it then to let it rest...You will always look back at what could have been and be sorry. I am.

Answer 10

how ever hard it is now, think how hard it would be if you started going out then as you said start arguing and have no future so you break up, what then. if you are meant to be then nothing will stop it, just take a couple of steps back and see what happens.

Answer 11

I THINK YOU SHOULD GIVE IT A TRY, BECAUSE FOR 1 THERE ARE NO RELATIONSHIPS THAT DON'T HAVE UPS AND DOWNS. 2 ONE OF THE BEST THINGS TO DO IS FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND, BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE DATE AND OTHER HANGOUT, BUT YOU GUYS CAN DO BOTH.