proofreading help please! English Essay!?

Question

I sat there, within a damp, cold room, waiting for someone to come and help me. Little that I knew, I saw a black stream of creatures heading my way. I was nerves as to what to expect, i was scared as little by little, i saw this ocean of blackness appear closer and closer. It was only when these big, hair things were so close i could almost feel them that i realized this was, indeed, the hell I was expecting. I saw the disgusting, black and brown spides begin to scatter all around me. I tried to shake myself, praying that my chair would move, preventing those awful creatures from coming any closer to me. yet, successful, i was not, as then i saw one that began to crawl up on my leg. Within, I saw felt wickedness of what all these spiders were to do.

Answer 1

I sat there, within a damp, cold room, waiting for someone to come and help me. Little DID I KINOW. I saw a black stream of creatures heading my way. I was NERVOUS as to what to expect, I was scared. Little by little, I saw this ocean of blackness appear closer and closer. It was only when these big, hairY things were so close AND I could almost feel them, that I realized this was, indeed, the hell I was expecting. I saw the disgusting, black and brown SPIDERS begin to scatter all around me. I tried to shake myself, praying that my chair would move, preventing those awful creatures from coming any closer to me. Yet, successful I was not. I then saw one begin to crawl up on my leg. Within SECONDS, I felt the wickedness of what all these spiders were to do.

BEST READ, I CHANGED A LOT

Answer 2

I sat there in a cold damp room waiting for someone to come and help me. I saw a black stream of creatures heading my way. I was nervous as to what to expect. I was scared. Little by little this ocean of blackness crept closer and closer. It was only when these creatures were so close I could feel them, that I realized they were big, hairy. Indeed, this was the hell I'd been expecting. I saw the disgusting creatures. Black and brown spiders began to scatter all around me. I tried to shake myself gently so my chair would move. Move my chair hoping to prevent these awful creatures from coming any closer. I was not successful. They were coming, crawling up the chair legs and onto my own legs. Within myself I felt the wickedness of what these spiders were yet to do.

Answer 3

everything in caps are changes/additions. Your sentance structure is very weak, lots of grammatical errors, and have poor diction (word choice & improper use of conjunctions). Something i always do with writing is start from end of the paper and read each sentantace back to the beginining. this way you catch a lot of errors as well as you can see if the sentances themselves make sense


I sat there, within a damp, cold room, waiting for someone to come and help me. Little DID I KNOW, THERE WAS a black stream of creatures heading my way. I was nervOUS as to what to expect BECAUSE I was scared. Little by little, I saw this ocean of blackness GROW closer BY THE SECOND. It was only when these big hair things were so close THAT I could almost feel them. IT WAS THEN that I realized this was the hell I was expecting. I saw the disgusting, black and brown spideRs begin to scatter all around me. I tried to shake myself, praying that my chair would move HOPING THAT I COULD prevenT those awful creatures from coming any closer to me. HOWEVER, successful I was not, as I saw oNE OF THOSE GROSS SPIDERS that begIn to crawl up on my leg. WITHIN MY MIND I COULD SEE AND FEEL THE WICKED INTENT OF WHAT THESE SPIDERS WERE GOING TO DO.

Answer 4

I sat there within a damp, cold room, waiting for someone to come and help me. Before long I saw a black, sinuous stream of creatures heading my way. My nerves were taut with anticipation, not knowing what to expect, as they came ever closer. It was only when the horde was nearly on top of me that I realized it was made up of large, hairy, disgusting black and brown spiders. They began to skitter all about me like some inescapable hell. I violently thrashed about, trying to get the chair to which I was bound to move... somewhere, anywhere, as long as it was away from these monstrous beasts. Alas, I was not successful, and one of them found purchase on my leg and began to crawl relentlessly upward... I sensed its wicked intent, and realized with horror what fate had in store for me.

Answer 5

i'm no longer in any way, shape or variety in a position that might actually assist you by ability of evidence-analyzing, regardless of the undeniable fact that, possibly you ought to touch a extreme college instructor (their emails are often on the highschool website) and ask them to help. in case you're in extreme college, touch yet another extreme college. all of them have tiers, as a result they are coaching the project. possibly you will come across a variety soul who desires to help. If that is college, same suggestion applies. sturdy success to you.

Answer 6

Third line--Nervous, not nerves

was scared; little by little,

big hairy things

spiders

Yet, I was unsuccessful, because then I saw one crawling up my leg.

Last sentence doesn't make sense.


Hope it helps. Good luck!