what do i do
2007-02-19 09:23:48 · 27 answers · asked by lola 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
call Ghostbusters
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2007-02-23 08:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by Tegarst 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush into anything. Talk to him. Find out what he wants, then take time to think about what you feel, what you want. Does he really think he's gay? If he's young it could just be he's experimenting; if he's in his 40s or older it could be a bit of a mid-life crisis, wanting to find out what sex with men is like. It may be a passing phase, is what I'm trying to say; it might already be over. If so, can you cope with what he has done?
If he thinks it's not a passing phase, you need to discuss where you go from here, but wait til you've calmed down enough that you can have a relatively rational discussion.
Good luck.
2007-02-19 17:35:44 · answer #2 · answered by pompeii 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think BI would be more correct. Well you could start by honestly talking with him about it. You know you can still love each other even if he has a bit of interest in guys. Really you should be working this out between the two of you and the opinion of people on the internet is unrelated to your relationship. I personally find relationships with girls and guys to be different and separate.
I guess ill ask you a question. Do you love him?
2007-02-19 17:34:48 · answer #3 · answered by twilight_moon1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear about this, you have my sympathy. I went through something much the same about 7 years ago. I had been with my ex for 9 years when I found out. I was just telling him I was sick of fighting with him all of the time and that I was moving out when he said "would it help if I told you I think I am gay" Puke! Still makes me sick just thinking about it. I was lucky because he moved out of state with his new "boyfriend" and I never had to deal with him after that. We tried to be "friends" but it was just not possible. There was not much for us to talk about because I did not want to under any circumstances hear about this guy or anything that they did together, so it left very little to talk about. Some people have remained friends under the circumstances. It was kind of surreal because so many people came out of the woodwork to say they or someone they knew had gone through the same thing. I was also Blessed that we did not have any children or it would have been alot messier. I really hope everything works out for you. Just know that you are not alone.
To Hank: Whats funny is I was one of those " hippie liberal baby killing democrats" and the situation was the catalyst to make me realize the error of my ways. So I have that to really thank him for. It made me wake up.
2007-02-19 17:33:42 · answer #4 · answered by Yahoogirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well that really depends on HOW you found out. Did you walk in on him or did he just tell you that HE just figured it out too?
I mean, it makes a difference.
If you walked in on him...then...yeah..get a lawyer.
But if he came to you and TOLD you that HE just figured out he was gay, then you two need to discuss what you two both want to do about it. You two need to discuss whether or not you both want to stay married or if you want a divorce.
NEVER DO ANYTHING RASHLY!
2007-02-19 17:27:28 · answer #5 · answered by DEATH 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it the same way you would with anything else in your marriage. It involves both of you. You will probably want a divorce, so that you'll both be free to find someone new, but that doesn't have to be immediately. Talk to him.
2007-02-19 17:36:59 · answer #6 · answered by Kharm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to war immediately in Divorce court. There is no salvaging this relationship. Sooner or later he will ditch you for the man of his dreams. The is no hope of getting out of this one easy. So declare war and get it over with.
2007-02-19 17:52:15 · answer #7 · answered by Rosie the Riviter 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Never get married again, studies actually show that the process of marriage is actually what makes men turn gay.
2007-02-19 17:27:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
get some alone time and make sure you let out your emotions! Then ask him questions and then finally move on!
2007-02-19 17:28:32 · answer #9 · answered by Yezmin Fernandez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just today you discovered this, 19 Feb. No prior Q's or A's.....and you ask perfect strangers on YA.
Interesting .....
2007-02-19 17:28:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Obviously hes no longer attracted to you if he is gay. I would ask if you could stay married for the tax return.
2007-02-19 17:27:59 · answer #11 · answered by PatricksMom* 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋