Why don't some women like to breast feed?

Question

I am married and plan on having children in the future. I have heard that breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your child. My mother actually breast feed me for a 1 year and a 1/2. But my question is, if breast feeding is so good for you why doesn't everyone do it? Why are there so many women who choose the bottle? Is breast feeding hard or painful to do? I also know that a lot of mothers that do breast feed stigmatize mothers that don't. I want to hear from the mothers that use formula, tell me why you chose to use formula? And why you think this was or wasn't the best decision for you and your baby?

Answer 1

I am answering this as someone who does breastfeed currently (my 3 week old) and breastfed my first child until he was 8 months. To be honest, I don't like it. But I do it because I know it's the best thing. You'll understand when you have kids and try it out, but it is difficult! Some children have a difficult time latching on properly. With my newborn, for the first few weeks it took about 10 minutes at the start of every feeding to get him latched on properly, and by then the two of us were sooooo frustrated! The first few days aren't so bad, but around day 4 my nipples were cracked and bleeding and when he would latch on, my eyes would water and I'd have to clench my teeth to get through it (once he'd been on a little while though it didn't hurt so bad). I couldn't pump because it hurt worse than my son latching on and the milk was pink from blood (although the people above are correct, blood in the milk doesn't hurt the baby so it is still safe to nurse with bleeding nipples). The only way mine healed was by putting specially formulated Lansinoh cream for breastfeeding mothers on my nipples after every feeding. And I'll be honest, after three weeks, my nipples still sometimes get sore.

Formula feeding in my opinion is much more convenient. I stopped breastfeeding my first at 8 months because I couldn't get him to stop biting me. And it was sooo nice, but I was sad I had to stop breastfeeding. I felt guilty, but couldn't handle the pain, plus my son was so active that getting him to lay still to breastfeed was hard.

Another factor for me was that I didn't lose a single pound of pregnancy weight until after I stopped breatfeeding my first.

I try very hard not to judge people who don't breastfeed, but in my opinion, there is no reason not to (even for working moms), especially with great pumps available. Coming from someone who has a difficult time breastfeeding (I'm sooo envious of the women it seems to come naturally to and be easy for), if I can do it and put up with it for the sake of my children, anyone can. But I'll be honest, it's not easy.

Answer 2

I didn't breast feed my daughter and i don't plan on breast feeding my son that i will be having soon. My mother had a child when i was seventeen and i watched her breast feed my brother and i just knew it was something i would never want to personally do. It just seemed like to me that breastfeeding was inconvenient sometimes the baby would be hungry in public and she would have to find a spot to breast feed and i am to private of a person to do that. Also if she was driving or something and the baby was hungry and crying she would have to stop and feed him, where as i bottle fed my daughter so i can hand her a bottle any where and keep doing whatever i was doing. Also she was usually the only person that could feed him so my father couldn't be a part of feeding his son. My husband has always been able to help feed my daughter and he will be able to help feed my son. Also another thing that concerned me about breastfeeding was that sometimes my mothers breast would leak or become full and she would have to pump or feed him immediately. I think breastfeeding is great for kids but for me i think it would just be to uncomfortable. Babies are usually healthier if they are breast fed, but i bottle fed and my daughter has always been very healthy.

Answer 3

Breast feeding can and is a painful process at first, the more you do it the easier it gets. Some mothers are actually incapable of breastfeeding and its not a choice they get to make. I actually did both, I breastfed my son for 2 months (he then weaned himself) and then we went to formula. Yes, breast milk is best for you child but if you choose to give your child formula you shouldn't be judged. Each situation is different. Some mother's don't feel comfortable, some babies have a hard time latching on. Breastfeeding can be a very stressful yet rewarding process and sometimes it is a lot to handle.

Answer 4

I've had 2 children and I formula fed both from birth.Breast feeding just didn't appeal to me personally. I know most women will think I'm silly but I just didn't want to feel like a cow with a baby at my breast 24/7. Both babies thrived and were sleeping through by 6 weeks.(I believe bottle fed babies stay full longer). They fed every 4 hours on the dot,I knew how much they were drinking and they were very content. I also suffered post natal depression with my first and baby blues with my second. If I breast fed I would have been a basket case. My 2nd bub is 4 months old now. He was born 2 weeks early and was 9p 3oz!.
He's thriving and is now 81/2 kilos.
A few of my friends tried to breastfeed and their babies weren't getting enough and were really unsettled.(and mum exhausted)They finally went to the bottle and said they wished they had done it earlier. Don't misunderstand, if breast feeding works for you, then great and I'd encourage it,but don't feel a failure if bub doesn't take to it. Persevere,but if things don't improve,DON'T feel guilty if you have to bottle feed!! Good Luck!

Answer 5

There are so many reasons a mother may not choose to breastfeed. For me it was highly personal. My husband was deployed six weeks before my due date, and I suddenly found myself a single mom. I tried, but he wouldn't cooperate. My mother hadn't breast-fed me, so she was no help. DH was a minister, so the entire church felt obligated to visit me several times a day. Every time I tried to feed I was interrupted. I was tired, and an emotional wreck. The stress of bf'ing was too much, so I switched to a bottle. My son was and is a very healthy child.

Some women physically can't. Sometimes babies are born premature so breastfeeding isn't an option. Breast augmentations and reductions can play a role in a woman's ability to BF.

I would never criticize a woman for choosing either method. Both are just fine for a baby. Yes, I want to breastfeed with my next child, but I that's my choice. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's your choice, and it's highly personal. If someone doesn't like it, she can stick it where the sun don't shine!

Answer 6

I had no desire to breastfeed my child. (I am sure some La Leche member is going to start sending me hate mail for that one). I can't really explain why.......I just did not want to. My mother did not breastfeed, my mother in law did not breastfeed. Neither did either grandmother......we are just a family of bottle feeders.
I had an 8 week maternity leave. That meant I had 8 weeks to bond with my infant and to give her the best start in life that I could. Now to some, that automatically means breastfeeding. But not to me.....to me, that meant enjoy my baby. Cherish the time I had with her. Kiss and cuddle with her......and give her a bottle.....more importantly, allow her dad to give her a bottle. and her grandmother (who would be keeping her while I worked), let her give the baby a bottle too. I wanted to do what was "normal" for me....and that was bottle feed.
Also I am not at ALL comfortable with the overall concept of breastfeeding. I would not want ANYONE around to watch me hike up my shirt and attach my child. So therefore I would have had to have spent the 8 weeks in near solitude. Plus I work in an environment where pumping is NOT an option. I work in a fast pace medical job (I know......I work in medicine. I should be a breastfeeding advocate). I barely get to take a lunch break or sit down for a drink. How was I supposed to pump, store, and transport milk AND work..........Just the thought of breastfeeding completely stressed me out.
The deciding factor was when I went on my pediatrician interviews. I met the most wonderful woman doctor. Dark hair, dark skin, Indian accent. So funny and sweet. I loved everything she said about medicine, her practice, and her medical beliefs. So I told her that I had no intention to breastfeed and asked if that was going to be a problem. I wondered it she would frown on bottle feeding. She said (in her thick Indian accent) "Absolutely that is NOT a problem. That is why they work so hard to make good infant formulas. You do what is best for you and your baby." I was so releived that this woman, who was the best doctor I could hope to find, said that it was okay to bottle feed my child. And I did......
Breastfeeding just did not feel right for me and my baby. That is as simple as I can state it. I took a TON of flack from co-workers and people who thought I was doing my child harm by not breastfeeding. But I have a wonderfully healthy, happy, strong little 10 month old who has not missed out on a single thing.

Answer 7

Here in the states there is a stigma with feeding your child in public that does not exist in Europe and elsewhere. In England it is common to have a "wet nurse"; another lactating woman feed your child when you are not available. I never felt comfortable feeding my babies in public. I always planned ahead and had pumped milk or my 'secret stash' of formula. If it was encouraged more here I think it would be less of a problem.

We want to make things easy, but breastfeeding is not easy at the start. It can take a few weeks for both of you to get it, but when done correctly it should not hurt.

I have three wonderful children and had different nursing issues with each. I still kick myself and feel I gave up too soon, but they are all healthy and happy and growing like weeds, so I moved on (kinda). If I reached out more to the La Leche League I probably could have continued longer, but what is done is done.

In order to breastfeed successfully have support outside of the hubby to share your concerns, issues and gripes.

Answer 8

I tried to breastfeed my first one, but my milk never came in. I never got engorged or anything. He was hungry and crying all the time, and when I wasn't feeding I was pumping to try to get my body to understand the 'miracle of supply and demand' I'd read so much about. After two weeks, he was losing weight at a dangerous pace, so I figured no benefit of breastfeeding was worth starving my baby.

When I had my second one, I felt so traumatized from my first I went right to formula. I did not want to go through weeks of sobbing and trying while my baby cried with hunger pains. I wanted a fed and happy baby.

Breastfeeding is a snap for some mothers but really hard for many of us. I'm really tired of the breast gestapos harping on about this. My babies are happy and healthy. At my daughter's last checkup, there was a breastfed baby there who was so skinny and listless, and the doctor was trying to convince the mother to try formula because her breast milk simply wasn't enough, but the mother refused. I felt so sorry for that baby, and I"m furious about all this press of the 'advantages' of breastfeeding. There's nothing there that can't be explained by general good parenting and/or good genes.

My kids are healthy, of perfect weight, brilliant, creative, and beautiful. They'd charm the pants off the gestapos. Or maybe they're so healthy they'd be willfully miscategorized.

Good luck to you when you have kids. If your Mom had good luck breastfeeding you you'll probably be fine (my Mom's milk didn't come in, either... it's genetic I guess), but you'll probably understand it's not all that simple.

Answer 9

I personally chose to formula feed after trying to breast feed and finding that it was not for me. Our son had terrible colic and acid reflux and was losing weight. I was leaning more towards bottle feeding during my pregnancy, and decided to try nursing only after being criticized heavily by people for my decision. My son has thrived on formula, has only been sick once in nine months, had no ear infections, and is ahead of most of the major milestones.
My decision had nothing to do with convenience for myself or not caring about my child. Some hardcore nursing moms apparently feel good about berating others because of their decision. I love my child dearly and what was best for the both of us was to bottle feed. It also allowed my husband the bonding time during feedings.
I think that this is a highly personal decision for every new mom and I don't think it is fair of many nursing moms to get on their pedestals. I can't tell you how many people, strangers even would ask me the question. I think that nursing is great, but I also don't think it is for everyone. I will be formula feeding my next child as well.

Answer 10

I tried very hard to breastfeed my son for the first few weeks. And for the life of me I couldn't get him to latch on. I tried pumping,breast sheild and different positions. My son was not able to have me right away after birth because of an unxpected c-section along with unexpectedly being knocked out for it. I wasn't fully capable of holding him or looking at him until 12 hours later. Because of all the drugs I was under. I personally feel that because he got a bottle right away had something to do with his hard time latching on to me.

Looking back now I feel that lack of education had something to do with it also. Not saying that I'm dumb but he was my first child and hind sight is 20/20. One thing that I wished that I would have done was rented a hospital grade pump or got some advise from a lactation consultant. But it's all over with now and all I can do is try harder with my second and now am a little more educated. It's not because I didn't want to, sometimes it just doesn't work for mother or baby. Plus since he wasn't latching and pumping wasn't woking I had to feed him something. I did feel really bad and still feel to this day like I missed out on something. But my son is just fine and I can always try again with my second.