my dad is in the army and my family are strict catholics....how will i tell them im gay?

Answer 1

Don't.

Answer 2

First of all, you must understand your own reasons for telling them. Make sure it is because you really want them to know who you are as a complete human being. Make sure it isn't because you want to hurt or alienate them in any way, even though those reactions may be their response.

Second, get some reading material together, either from the internet, your library, or a Gay and Lesbian Center near you. Give them material that explains that homosexuality is NOT a disease, is NOT to be "cured" and, is NOT your parents (or anyone else's) "fault".

Finally, have a sympathetic and understanding friend, teacher, or other adult, in the wings to support you and, perhaps at some time, be able to talk to your parents on your behalf.

The catholicism will be a hurdle; however, many catholics are not totally on board with the Pope's position on gays.

Good luck! As difficult as this step is in the coming out process, it will be worth it for the rest of your life... believe me. I'll be thinking of you in this endeavor.

lt

Answer 3

Even "strict" Catholics can have compassion and be non judgemental. It doesn't mean that they will think any less of you. As for your dad in the army: do you think that he has never lived or come across people of other sexual persuasions other than heterosexual?
There is never a good time to tell family that you are gay. What you need to do and to be is, certain of your own sexuality, confident in it and prepared for a bad as well as a positive reaction. My family know I am gay, but I have never actually told them. Families are not daft!

Answer 4

Tread carefully.

First of all realise that if they are impressionable enough to be indoctrinated with catholic propaganda they might have taken on board some of the gay-friendly views of modern mainstream society.
I would probably tell them that you had found yourself attracted to a friend and say "do you think I could be gay". That way the ball is always in their court, and you are not thrusting anything down their throats.
If you get an intransigent negative attitude then don't tell them at all. You don't need to, its your own life, and you will lead it in the best way and the right way for you. Two fingers to them!

Answer 5

Thats like telling a jewish family you want to be a nazi. I think i would say nothing but if the bible bashers say anything about it being wrong say this God made me this way are you saying you know better than God there is no answer to that as it is proof God likes diversity. I hate Catholics a vile religion up there with Islam the IRA are Catholic say enough to me that i am a man of peace and love. Ps if God put the pope in power he also put Hitler in power so either God likes killing people or he doesn`t choose leaders my guess is the later but i guess this logic is to advanced for many on here

Answer 6

Well i know you have to be yourself etc. BUT .. if your family has no possible way of understanding your situation (for want of a better word ok) and they will simply be upset and angry and make life between them and you very hard of perhaps impossible then should you realy tell them?... I mean .. well from my personal perspective.. im not gay but if i was there is no real way my dad would/could ever understand so it would destroy him completely. So if i was of that orientation i would not tell him... what would be the point.. just to hurt him etc?

But if you feel they could come round and understand or atleast accept then you just gota judge them and the situation and tell them in the way you think is best.

Sounds like a very difficult situation... Best of luck.

Answer 7

Firstly, be comfortable with yourself If you need more knowledge of theology or whatever, ask -- I can probably help.

Then decide whether or not you really want to tell them -- or if you want to live your life without telling them until you have left the house and are secure on your own.

If you decide to wait, or if you are already out of the house and just afraid of the results -- what is being open worth to you? Is honesty worth the possibility that they will reject you? The answer varies by person. I know people who told families that no longer speak to them -- but who feel better for it, cause really, if that caused someone to stop talking to you -- they never cared much to begin with. But that decision is one only you can make.

If you need to talk, email me.

Kind thoughts,

Reyn
[e-mail]

Answer 8

wow - it depends on the relationship you have with your parents - if you are close they may already know - are you in a position to move out if it goes badly? To be true to yourself you need to tell them and in an ideal world they will accept it and be happy for you (if you were my son that is how it would be) but unfortunately we are all different. If you live at home perhaps you could wait until you have moved out and are settled before telling them otherwise just come out and say it - only you know how your family situation is - you may even be better in confiding in one family member or close family friend and see what their reaction is first - good luck whatever you decide

Answer 9

If you still live in your parents house DON'T!!! Wait until you are on your own, this way you don't lose any support they may be giving you i.e. school, and you wont end up on the street.

When you are ready to tell them DO IT CAREFULLY, if you think they will have a very negative reaction you might want to make sure you have someone who already knows with you.

Just be prepared for a negative reaction and don't take it personally if your parents "fly off the handle", remember you just shook up their lives as well as your own.

Good Luck
Eric

Answer 10

They're your parents, you're not supposed to be afraid of them. Besides, it's not about them, it's about you! Tell them that, and also let them know that you're counting on their continured guidance drawn from their experience so you don't fall into any of the traps that face the youth of today. Tell them nothings changed and you still love then unconditionally and hope they can do the same.

You see, I'm good at guilt, and by putting the ball in their court if they react badly then you've played your hand right making them the poor sports.

Answer 11

After you have your own place to live, then just tell them. Just because they're military and Catholic doesn't mean they're phobic - you don't want to be stereotyped so don't do that to them. Just be smart about coming out and understand that it might take some time for them to accept it, just like it probably took some time for you to accept it.