he just said it up front after 2 months of being together [no we didnt have sex] he said it, and i said thankyou for being honest but i dont think i can be with you, and i went home and havent talked to him since.....does that make me a bad person?
i dont want the disease its incurable!! i mean what was i supposed to say?!
i feel bad about it, like i should apologise for it.
am i just being shallow and rude and selfish ?
2007-02-19 07:05:47 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
i dont think alot of you understand. I DONT WANT THE DISEASE.i dont want to risk giving it to my children while im giving birth i dont want to deal with it my whole life for a relationship that might have never even worked out. anyways i let him get a word in before i left. he said "i understand" but i left after that i didnt want to have a big conversation about it. it happened yesterday by the way.
2007-02-19 07:20:03 · update #1
You're entitled to choose the person you want to be with. After dating for only 60 days, you weren't obligated to devote the rest of your life to him. Don't apologize, just move on.
2007-02-19 07:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't know that you could have herpes until you get an out break which doesn't always have all the symptoms as a classic initial out break of herpes does. If he was with some one else while you were broken up then he could have gotten herpes from them and didn't know it. You can get herpes from any one that has either oral or genital herpes. You can contract genital herpes when some one with cold sores (which is usually caused by HSV1 / oral herpes and is contagious) when they give you oral sex with an out break. Cold sores are very common to have 50-80 percent of the world has them. Your not alone if you have genital herpes 1 in 5 adults in North America have them. Being diagnosed with herpes is devistating at first but it's not the end of the world, all though it may seam like it at the moment. You can still have a relativly normal life. You can have a career, get married and have healthy children. You need to accept your diagnosis and move on with your life. That may take some time but the more you say to your self or write it out privatly that you have herpes can help. Herpes may not be curable but at least the common types of it are not life threatening. You have a condition which is only visible on the skin to others but you will have the virus for life. Out breaks do get less sever over time and things do get better. I don't sleep around either. I have been with only 1 guy for almost 3 years. He gave me oral sex when he had a cold sore and I contracted genital herpes, to be exact HSV1 on my genitals. He didn't know that cold sores can be caused by HSV1, also he didn't know that they are contagious. I've had herpes for almost 2 years, now I only get a little blister or cut now and then if I don't get to my meds fast enough. All it takes is for your partner to not know that they have herpes and they can pass it onto you.
2016-03-29 03:02:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the one thing is that you are not the only one that has been put in that situation. It does make you seem to be a bad person but people do this all the time. Meaning that people run away from things that they are afraid of. EVERYONE DOES THIS!!! YES ALL OF YOU!!! It makes you feel bad because you know that you made them feel disgusting. Know this when someone comes out in the open and tells you that they have a incruable thing that means that they trust you. This means that you should tell no I mean no one about this! This will ruin his life more than you leaving him. You have done what you think is right and you can't let anyone judge you. Be in that position and have to make it what would they do. Live with it! This would be hard for them to. You made yours and people will make theres you are not a bad persn because your are afraid of something that can hurt you. You are okay but you do need to call him and tell him that you are just afraid and that you will NEVER tell anyone and that you too can be friends. And maybe time wil come and you will look past this situation and be with him. He knows his safety percautions for you and he will do all in his power not to give to you. Good luck! He is a good person for telling in the first place even thought he was 2 months late!
2007-02-19 07:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by fxysxysrkly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was a bit shallow and mean to do it just on the spot without even talking or giving him a chance. He took a big step in telling you he had it and showed just how much he really cared about you. Just because he has it doesn't mean you will get it--thats what Valtrex and condoms are for. Its also unlikely for you to give it to your kids, if anything, you could have a ceacerian section to avoid that. if you really did not like the guy in the first place and his virus put you over the edge then that's fine, but you should at least tell him the "real" reason so that he won't be afraid to continue being honest with future girlfriends and help prevent the spreading of it. You never know what someone may have but are just afraid to tell because of the fear of rejection. Responses like yours may be why your future husband may have something and not tell you and give that disease to you--without you knowing!! think about it. definitely apologize and talk to him.
2007-02-19 07:37:16 · answer #4 · answered by Meyori B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing because you made the decision to walk and not get it. Dont care what other people think of your decision. If this guy has the herpes then he expsed himself to other diseases also. Dont wake up one day being told you have HIV/AIDS and have stayed because you were feeling guilty. On the other hand if you did stay with him just use protection always and know that there is a chance you could get it...I have it. I was not told about it until it was too late. And yeah it was cool of this guy to tell you about. Whatever decision you make it is the right one...follow your insincts. Protect yourself too.
2007-02-19 07:31:20 · answer #5 · answered by Megan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am absolutely terrified and I feel so alone. I just found out last week that I tested positive for hsv1 and 2. I have been with the same man for the past 10 years and within the last year found out that he has cheated on me with numerous women. I am so scared that I can give it to my children by kissing them and them eating with me...I feel like my whole life has changed. And even though the nurses, my doctor, and websites say that a lot of people have it I still feel like I am by myself. My self esteem has dropped and I feel like I have been used up. But now, My life is very happy.
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2016-05-14 17:21:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As cold as it sounds I would have done the same thing. Some times we have to make intellectual decisions. Our hearts have gotten us women in many predicaments, anytime that we have the chance to make an educated decision, we must do what is logical and wise. Believe me, if the tables were turned and it was you informing a guy that you had genital herpes, every guy you informed would run for the hills, without any regret, that's how guys are, but the minute we make the same exact moves that they make, we are called heartless. I for one commend you.
2007-02-19 07:17:40 · answer #7 · answered by flacocajuncujo 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
YOU ARE NOT SELFISH! I would do the same thing in your place. Breaking up with him was the best thing to do. If he has genital herpes, he only got it from being with several different partners, and being disgusting. Its his own fault, and you shouldnt feel guilty in the slightest. You have to care for your own personal health. DO NOT PUT YOURSELF AT RISK! You'll eventually find someone else who doesnt have a disgusting, incurable STD...
2007-02-19 07:16:34 · answer #8 · answered by אילנה 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
No it don't make you a bad person but maybe you should call him and tell him your sorry if he though you was and let him know that you was just protecting yourself but you can still be friends good luck
2007-02-19 07:10:43 · answer #9 · answered by mjaynor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT shallow, rude or selfish.
Your decision was to protect yourself, and this is a wise thing to do.
You're not supposed to say anything. His happiness does not depend on your decisions but on the way HE manages his life for himself.
Free yourself of any guilt - you deserve none.
2007-02-19 07:09:33 · answer #10 · answered by flywho 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋