Would you consider this to be Narcissistic?

Question

I deal with someone on a regular basis, that is very degrading, sarcastic, and always pre-judgmental. This person argues whether or not he/she is wrong, and at every given opportunity, points out faults, that really aren't faults at all, and patronizes because of personal beliefs, always giving his/her opinion on what I should or shouldn't do with my life... This is sorely confusing, and I am trying to find a way to deal with this, other than ignorance. I would like to salvage a friendship out of this, but it's turning sour very fast... Any information would be helpful. Thanks.

Answer 1

I don't think I would consider that narcissistic.

It sounds more to me like this person actually has low self-esteem and has to make others feel bad in order for he/she to feel good. He/she sounds controlling and not like a true friend.

I would ask yourself, does this person make me feel good about myself? Do I get anything out of this friendship? Why do I want to be with this person?

Answer 2

Although it sounds like he/she has some of the criteria that defines Narcissism, this person does not sound like a true Narcissist. It really sounds like your acquaintance is very unhappy, and probably lonely. Some of the loneliest people are surrounded with friends and family and not yet known. It also sounds as though you get something positive from this relationship otherwise you would not be interested in salvaging it. If the "negativism" you talked about above is often focused on other people, he/she maybe looking for your agreement or approval so they can feel validated. If the negativism is towards you, perhaps they are "confirming" that you accept them for who they are. It is interesting when a person does this, because although he/she wants your acceptance for who they are, the "always negative person" often does not even know who they are.
What I would do? If I truly wanted to maintain a relationship with this person. Be real, be who you are, show that you are comfortable in your skin even when you don't have all the answers. Model to him/her what a true friend is, they will come around. I would also politely change the subject or quickly brush way any negative observations or comments made about others. When the comments are regarding you......."thanks I'll take that into consideration", or " I am not sure that is it, but your thoughts are helpful", then change the subject. If none of this works, simply sit him/her down and ask, "what is it about me that makes you so negative?". You will probably get a strange look, which is your opportunity to talk about how he/she makes you feel. When you ask the question in this way it takes focus off of him/her being a bad or unlikeable person. Ultimately you are trying to salvage a friendship not "one up" each others faults. If nothing has changed or things have gotten worse and you have tried working things out with a sincere heart, unfortunately this person is not ready for your friendship. Distance yourself, (be kind) and maybe, eventually move completely away from the relationship.

Answer 3

This person actually sounds like me alittle or what i used to be like.. I used to argue all the time and i had to be right, also i would always be extremely blunt when it comes to peoples appearens.. I dont think thats being narcasitic but i do think that this person has very low confidence and the only way to bring it up is to make other people feel bad, point out there problems, and try and be right on evrything... Luckily ive worked on that problem and now i dont feel the need to be mean to people... Just try and talk to this person and tell them what it is that bugs u about them.. I had to learn my faults that same way(one of my friend told me about it and i tried my hardest to correct the problem..i almost lost a friendship or more out of it..luckily thats behind me)

Answer 4

See if you can find out what they like or dislike, pay them compliments, it is hard not to like someone that compliments you all the time.
Or, come right out and tell them, that you appreciate their input but that is something you will have to decide for yourself.
Maybe the person does not realize how over whelming they are bring it to their attention. Good luck, try different things so that you will not be so uncomfortable or consider changing jobs.

Answer 5

No, that is just plain controling and bullying. Get away from that kind of person. Narcisistic people are always standingin front of mirrirs, andare asking about how they look, and ignoring others aroundthem fortheir own wants before others needs

Answer 6

Man you have really got to ask yourself is someone who is; degrading, sarcastic, and pre-judgmental really someone that you want to befriend?
Really?
Negativity does breed negativity, and likewise positivity breeds positivity. When I encounter someone like this, I simply distance myself; I'm not rude or abrupt. i have just figured out that life, and my energy are far to valuable to be just throwing it around. If you distance yourself, this person may realize something is up, and if so may even ask you about it, that would be the perfect opportunity to let them know how you feel. No need to be accusatory.....or negative, just use "I" statements. (ie) I feel like this........, when you say this.
Once you've let them know how you feel, see if their behavior changes, if not; they really don't care about your feelings, and that's not someone you need around you.

Answer 7

The person doesn't necessarily sound narcissistic, but s/he does sound like an ******. Unless the relationship is somehow personally or professionally fulfilling, necessary for work reasons or profitable, why bother with this person?