And then how long do you think a couple should be engaged before getting married? Just want some honest opinions. I have been dating a guy for 2 years and I am ready to work towards marriage. Of course he has been married and divorce before so it would take him longer to prepare but it has been 3 years since his divorce. I sometimes wander if he will ever be ready and if I am wasting my time. So I just wander what you all think.
2007-02-19 06:07:16 · 14 answers · asked by t3k7j1d8 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I was in a previous relationship for 5 years and engaged and had 2 kids. It has been 4 years since then. The guy I am dating now does want a child soon. But when I asked about marriage he said he wanted to wait a year to see how we do. It has been a year since then and I was wanting to bring it back up and see how he feels now. I just don't want to pressure him. Should I go ahead and talk to him about it or wait a little longer?
2007-02-19 06:26:12 · update #1
I think they should wait till after the age of 25. And then be together for at least 1 year of successful co habitation, and THEN be engaged for ONE YEAR... I know it sounds like a long time... but why does everyone want to rush these days. Most marriages end between the ages of 18-25. Hope this helps.
2007-02-19 06:11:36 · answer #1 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think usually a couple should date for a year or two before considering marriage and then be engaged for atleast six months to a year before marrying. Since your boyfriend has been married and divorced before he may just be overly cautious about getting married again. I would give him another six months to a year and if he hasn't brought up the subject then I think that is the answer you need to let you know you are wasting your time. Good Luck!
2007-02-19 06:14:15 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every relationship is different. My husband and I were dating for 2 months when we got engaged. We got married 2 years later...it took that long to plan a huge wedding! We've been married for almost 3 1/2 years and have a 1 1/2 year old son.
P.S. We planned our huge wedding for almost 2 years and then totally scrapped it and had a small intimate ceremony and a dinner. It's what we really wanted.
P.P.S. If you're living together and living your lives as husband and wife then it could be that he has no motivation to marry you. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?
2007-02-19 06:34:27 · answer #3 · answered by Jacob's Mommy (Plus One) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the individual. My gf is still married, but we've been engaged for almost a year, have been together for a little over a year, but we've been friends for over 10 years. If we could afford the money for the divorce we'd be on our way to the alter in April. I don't think there's really an "appropriate" waiting/dating period. It's just when ever you're ready to take that step.
2007-02-26 10:49:06 · answer #4 · answered by devotedlyyours270 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends upon your age, maturity and circumstances.
I dated and lived with one man for 4 years. I was crazy about him but never thought marriage was a good option for us.
Dated the next man for 2+ years, he asked me to marry him and I laughed at him (didn't mean to be mean but it was honestly funny that he thought that was a good idea!)
I met my husband and after our second date I told my friends that he was going to marry me (they thought I was crazy). We both knew pretty much right away that we were meant to be together. We were officially engaged at 8 months (ordered the ring at 6 mo's) and married 13 mo's after meeting. Eleven years and two kids later, no regrets! BTW - he was married/divorced (VERY UGLY) before....First marriage for me, obviously.
Moral of the story, trust your gut. He may need time, or he may never be ready (he may not be that 'into you' to paraphrase!). If he doesn't know and doesn't know why he doesn't know, you need to decide what is best for you and how long you can wait for him to figure it out. Don't make ultimatums but set a timetable for yourself. The only person you can control is you.
2007-02-25 14:23:43 · answer #5 · answered by Karla R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're wasting your time. I feel you should be engaged by now, if you're not, and making plans for you wedding. After dating for two years your wedding shouldn't be too long after you are engaged. Put him to the test and ask him when will you be getting married. I think if he stalls at all or does not give you a direct answer it's time to move on. Good luck.
2007-02-19 06:17:24 · answer #6 · answered by voodoo man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most people i know date for atleast two years before they really know that they are with the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. so i think it might be a good time to bring it up, but at the same time he might not be ready because his divorce has only been 3 years ago. i would talk to him about it and if he says hes not ready yet, but he still wants to have a kid with you, i would give him an alternative, either make up his mind of if he wants to really be with you or not.
2007-02-25 14:25:56 · answer #7 · answered by Over and Over 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no set time limit for being engaged or married. It's how you feel.
I used to work with a guy that married his wife after 4 weeks. Yes, WEEKS. They've been together happily for 40 something years.
My aunt dated her ex-husband for several years before they got married. Now she's married to someone else who's so much better.
When you know, you know.
2007-02-19 06:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by ziggyzp77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide how long you are willing to wait for this guy. How long are you willing to put your dreams on hold? Do you want children? If so you need to do that sooner than later in life. more information is coming out everyday about how difficult it is for women to become pregnant as they get older. Even into their late thirties it's just not happening.
If your goals are not compatible with his, then why are you staying? You can't wait around forever and as long as you are there without the commitment of marriage, what is his motivation for marrying you? He already has what HE wants. It's you who doesn't have what she wants and it doesn't seem to matter to him.
2007-02-19 06:14:30 · answer #9 · answered by TeaQueen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is not any known for this reason.there is in trouble-free terms what you experience is ideal for you and your boyfriend.If both of you've stated marriage and percentage an similar view on the count number then your relationship is effective no count number what people say or ask.If both are pleased with the position the relation deliver is then this can be an effective aspect.do not difficulty about ultimate dates
2016-12-04 09:22:30 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋