Why do I hate MEN soooo BAD?

Question

I'm Not a lesbian. But it seems that I just hate MEN. My past relationship was NOT good at ALL. They've lied to me or I was cheated. Everytime I go out and I see a guy wanting to talk to me I just feel he's trying to sleep with me and USE me. That's how it's been in the PAST, the've USED me and then I was Ignored. Or they wouldn't returned my phone calls....AND NO I wasn't those girls who bugged ALL the time. I got Married at 20 at first it was okay...then he started lying about everything. I divorced him 3-years later. Why is my attitude like this ALL the time.

Also I have a boyfriend, I treat him BAD sometimes. I tell him to leave but he's always there with me. He was my First Boyfriend when I was 13 yrs old, We only dated for 3-wks then after that I dumped him.

My boyfriend who I'm with right now. He wants to marry me and have Kids...he already have two kids with other woman. He tells me.."I'm with you and your my family"...I'm Scared.

Answer 1

You're like this because you're bitter. Men have hurt you and you no longer trust them. What you must do is learn to trust yourself. That is, learn to trust your own judgement when it comes to men. This will allow you to deal with them effectively. Men don't realize the damage they do to women. You are by no means alone in your feelings. Every woman who's been burned a few times feels the way you do, until they learn to trust themselves.

When you meet a guy, you must assume that everything he tells you is a lie--including his name. Let him disprove the lies as the relationship develops. When you start off this way, you put yourself in control of your circumstances. Instead of revealing everything about yourself (thereby giving the guy a roadmap to your heart), listen more than you talk. Let him either disprove the lies, or dig a hole for himself.

What's done is done, so let go of the past. Get a new attitude, one that allows you to enjoy life again. Let go of the bitterness and forgive yourself for any mistakes you made with men. There are some decent guys out there. Granted, they're far and in between, but they're out there. Get yourself together and start living life again.

When it comes to S-E-X, you must train yourself to only sleep with a man when YOU want to. It's your body and your decision. Don't be threatened by guys who try to rush sex, or those who want to drop you if you don't give in. It's better to be dropped because you didn't give in, rather than because you did. Get it? Switch the script. Until you remarry, ALWAYS let sex be on your terms, not the guys. If somebody's going to get used, let it be him--not you. Even if the guy is super-fine and you can't wait to spread your wings; let it be your decision, not his. You don't need to verbalize this to guys, but you do need to practice it.

Believe me, if you learn these few things, you'll be a much happier person. You'll even start having fun with guys, as you watch them play their games. There's nothing funnier than seeing a guy squirm in and out of his own lies. Priceless!

Answer 2

Being hurt in the past can damage someone for life... and balls to those that just say get over it... not that easy. But... somehow you have to find a way to move on and sometimes you need some time being single to get over all the past hurt and heal yourself first. It's easy to push away people if you are afraid you'll get hurt. I've done it all my life but finally after 2 kids I realized that I can't do it anymore or my girls will grow up hating men and not having a shot at a good relationship. Love is the greatest and worst thing but remember you don't need a man in your life to make you happy... maybe it's time to go solo for awhile.

Answer 3

Your attitude is part of the problem: the worse men treat you the more you hate them; the more you make it obvious you hate them the worse you get treated.

I dont know why but there are just some women who so obviously hate men and when we meet them we either think 'I'll stay clear of her' or we think 'she would be perfect for a hump and dump'. And everytime it happens your attitude gets worse, you see men can hate you in return and that is whats happening. It may even get to the stage where even if someone was thinking of seriously dating you, other guys would say 'Uuuurgh, youre not thinking of dating that old goat are you'. In which case youre doomed.

Answer 4

It is called mirroring. Look it up. I was guilty of it too, until I focused on the real reasons my relationships went south. I had to come to the conclusion that it was me that was giving the wrong signals, allowing what I considered unallowable to continue, and expecting them to live up to my expectations when they never indicated they were able to do so. People are what they are, man or woman. Know what you want before you get into a relationship with someone. And conversely, make sure you are able to fulfill any expectations they may have of you before becoming involved. Until you know, stay out of them.

Answer 5

There is one common element in each of your past situation that I feel you are over looking. That element is you! Think about it, every man that you dated, you were the common denominator at the source of each bad experience. What I am saying is the source of your unhappiness with men may be you. I think based upon your statements; you don’t like yourself very much and is projecting this onto the men you meet or is attracting abusive men. Try changing your attitude and think positive about the type of man you would like to attract verse the type of man your hate.

Answer 6

If you walk around with an unpleasant attitude and push every man you meet away, you are effectively screening for the types you despise.

First thing: positive attitude.

Second thing: people need to earn your trust and respect, so go slowly.

Hope that helps.

Answer 7

Oh girl, you should read some of my past posts and questions. You sound just like me. Men suck! All they want is p*ssy. Most men make me sick! They are simple minded, heartless @ssholes with a one track mind. It would suit me just fine if all of them were only allowed to have a few kids and then loose their sex drive forever. Hell, I wish that after two or three kids [depending on how well they father] they would have to be castrated! I think that would settle a lot of the freakin problems in our world today. MEN SUCK!!!!!

Answer 8

humorous that you ask that... i will start up by saying that i'm a Gulf conflict Vet - both one in each of them. I spent 11 years contained in the Marine Corps. I too get peeved at those who say issues and make accusations, I too ask your self why they don't merely %. their **** and go away. Then I undergo in options why I, etc like me have served. As an American, it truly is our correct to say what we opt for, stay if we opt for, or go away if we opt for. I positive as hell wasn't very "loose" at the same time as i replaced into on energetic responsibility, yet that replaced into my sacrifice, my decision. as a lot as I hate to say, those "unpatriotic" human beings are human beings merely as a lot as everybody else. I gave 11 years of my existence, for them too, even if or not they don't consider my perspectives. i will say that if issues keep going the way they are, my spouse and that i have heavily considered leaving the U. S.. component of me says this may be stupid, regardless of each little thing that factor spent serving something to desert it. yet yet another component of me says that if it receives so undesirable that you is actual no longer able to face it, why stay and *****? bypass elsewhere. both way it truly is my/our decision as a loose human beings to make your options up why and when we bypass, no individual elses. seems to me, it truly is what i replaced into struggling with for firstly, isn't it?

Answer 9

i feel like you do i been cheated on my heart broke im bitter im seprated and hear he's letting this whore live with him i wonder why men walks on our hearts and break your heart and don't give a damm he didn't have the gall to tell me hes got some one esle he's mad at me i put him in jail for choking me i think he knowed cheating would hurt me more than if he harmed me he knowed i was jeoulouse hes rubbing it in

Answer 10

it is all about trust.Samething happened with me.But i took it easy ,every1 r not same.try 2 4get what happened n past this is the only way i came out of d shock.I know its not easy,but give it a try atleast dear.cheers.