Can anyone recommend any sites or any information on raising children not your own?

Question

My fiance and I have been together for 7 years , and his sister has 2 small children that she is unable to care for, and at this point we might have to take them, to keep them from going into foster care,
and I needed some information on what I might expect, or just advice. Thank you.

Answer 1

Do you love the children? Most important. Can your relationship take the everyday, everynight pressure of two small children you don't seem to want to consider your own? I've reared many, many children in order to keep them OUT of foster care. I've loved each one, as my own child, and changed bad habits from their last place of living, to good habits with gentle ways. Never, ever hit a child. Start off sentences with "please, do this"...........I mean, if a child has his/her shoes all over your furniture and you don't want them to, remember to say something like, "Feet belong on the floor, Honey."..........(do not just say, "Get your feet off the couch!") If the child says, "I don't like that, I won't eat it!"...........be calm................"this is what we are eating, right now......that is all we are eating now." The child soon gets the drift that he/she can eat or starve.........but, not order special foods that are usually not good for the child, anyway! The family who eats at the table together is the best. If you, alone, sit with the children at the table during dinner, it is fine. Just be there with them, and put the food on the table to eat. This is when you discuss only nice things, and you tell the children that. It is NOT the time to baul them out for how they were, today! This should be a really nice, enjoyable, calm time for them and for you! Bedtime will be, most likely, earlier than they are used to. Make it clear, NICELY, that this is when bedtime for them is. Read them a story, tell them a story, just bed them down. They will be scared and probably want to sleep together. If this is not a problem, let them, for now, at least. Show them, tell them, how happy you are that they have come into your home and life. Give them happiness, give them security by doing the same things, same rules, everyday. Remember, if you start any sentences of with, "DON'T............" you will be making them more stubborn and more confused about what they are SUPPOSED to do. Correct them by telling them how it is done in your home. Praise them a lot when they do little things that are good. Let them help you as much as they may want to, messy or not, and let them feel a part of your family. Let them BE a part of your family. I always found this easy, and the children always ended up with great mannors (No, I'm not a bully), with praising them all the time for the good things they did. If you go into a store, etc. with the children, tell them before hand that it is time to show all the people how GOOD they are. They will be. Praise them for this when you leave. They will 'test' you to see what they can get away with. They don't know your rules, yet. Let you tell them in positive language what they are. Don't sound like a rule book! NEVER run down their mother. That is one of the worst things you could ever do to them. Explain mama couldn't take care of them, for right now.
Caring and security is what they need most. Give it to them, and be blessed the rest of your life!

Answer 2

There are children sites for parents and chats all over the net. But the best way to raise any child/children, is to treat them good and teach them the values of life. Teach them what is right and what is wrong and listen to them... they can help you teach them as well. When I say listen it doesnt mean that they tell you what they get to do. Listen when they hurt and when they dont, listen when they have problems and help them find solutions. Teach them that being a problem is not good and teach them how to be problem solvers. The younger the better.
But check out mommies.com I think its still there. They used to have lots of good things to do with your kids as well as advice on how to take care of some problems that occur.
Good luck and god bless for what you are trying to do...