Personally, I have given up men-not worth the hurt and pain package, and am much more content. But I see so many woman who stay with cheaters, abusers, alcoholics, mean-spirited men, etc. How sad is that! What is up with them that they think so poorly of themselves to live with such toxic relations.
2007-02-19 04:44:47 · 30 answers · asked by Salsa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ive seen this happen to my sister and it is so sad. The men berate them tell them they are useless and couldnt get another man. Who would want you youre overweight you have two kids no man is going to want to be with you. The two kids arent his. These types of men have many tricks up their sleeves. They destroy the woman to all she is is just a being feeling she is so lucky to have him as her man. My sister works her butt off while he sleeps in works a few hours a day just enough to get by and pay for his partying. My sister pays all the bills with her pay and sometimes gets money from him if she cant pay all the bills. I hope many women read this and get out of this type of relationship now. Dont let it drag you down the road to a wretched life. Peace out.............
2007-02-19 04:55:39 · answer #1 · answered by powerliftingrules 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not just men. Myself and many others deal with the same issues with women.
I know that I can do better, but I married for the right reasons and would much rather work things out. She isn't going to change and I know that, and I don't really know why I put up with it. I think that when I have had enough, then I will end the relationship.
I definately agree with EGOman. When your not being treated as an equal and without dignity and respect; you should get out of the relationship.
I need to say NO........and get out. Hopefully I will soon. Because this is no way to live. I believe it's more of a habit that a lack of self esteem.
2007-02-19 05:19:36 · answer #2 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad as it is, it dont mean they weak. I am convinced that they love--really love. Many other people will want to jump the boat because there is a small break on the deck, such women try all they can to mend it. The ocean of divorce, single motherhood, loneliness etc. is not any more palatable. They are high optimists. They believe in redeemable humanity and that there is much to keep in marriage: their children and their oath: 'for better for worse'. These women are really the strong ones,much stronger than the sorry divorcees and those who advise 'dump him'.
2007-02-26 13:50:41 · answer #3 · answered by Elder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are stupid.
No seriously, I think it stems from two things.
1. Virtually all women think, are even "turned on" (for lack of a better phrase), by the idea of changing a man. That's why they want the "bad boys".
2. This is probably the more important reason. They have self esteem/daddy issues. These are very deep, hard to even recognize (can't see the forest for the trees), they blame themselves for the situation, and coupled with the idea that they can change someone, bad combo.
Look at strippers/pornography actresses. 99.999999999999999% of them were abused by their father in some way (not necessarily sexually).
So what do they do? Sell themselves in the only way they got "positive" feedback.
Intervene when you can.
Don't give up on men, not all of us are bastards.
2007-02-27 04:24:39 · answer #4 · answered by Sam Fisher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've also seen it. I have such a great man and can't understand why women stay with someone who hurts them over and over. They usually have very low self esteem, figure they can change him or have children and think there is no where for them to go. Some probably were raised in the same environment so they feel there is no recourse. It is so sad to see. I have personally tried to help a couple of friends out of bad relationships. One girl I knew for years and lost contact with...I ran into her at Target and she was with a guy and had two children. When she saw me she was so emotional and hugged me so tight that it hurt, as she hugged me she whispered in my ear "please help me." You see, years before (probably about 6 years) my husband and I had helped her get away from a boyfriend that was beating her up alot.
2007-02-27 04:21:45 · answer #5 · answered by poodlemama1965 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These women probly think they still love them and not know it's already become a routine. My thought is that the men are brain washing them. By telling the women if they leave them they are nobody and nobody will love them, but those abusers themselves. The men do this because they feel insecure themselves that they make the women feel the worst. Gladly I am not in this situation, but in my first year of college my ex boyfriend was like this. His parents helped me in leaving him. So now I am Happily married. Hope all the girl/ladies who are in these types of relationships know it's not a relationship. They can get help and plus they are a much better person without those men.
2007-02-19 04:53:19 · answer #6 · answered by shy_gal2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some stay in the relationships because of fear, bodily threats or sometimes they feel they will not find anyone else because they don't feel adequate enough. A lot of people in these realtionships could have had a bad experience from childhood and felt that that was the way a relationship is supposed to be. Some of these people wind up so messed up. I was in one and left everything (including my personal possessions) to get the hell out as soon as I could. I am now happy, healthy and I can now help other women to get out those relationships.
2007-02-23 13:35:08 · answer #7 · answered by beaddiva 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are first with them, they make you feel great about yourself... Then as time progresses, they DO chip away at you a little bit at a time, and as you say "What he said was wrong to me," they will make you feel good again. And each time gets worse, so you are interlocked in a vicious cycle until it gets really bad. There may be children involved, and him telling the woman she has nowhere to go, maybe she's a stay at home mother. Or maybe they only have one vehicle between them. There are sooo many factors involved here. And it is sooo easy for women who have never been in these situations to say "I'd leave the man!! I'd do this, I'd do that..." But you never know what you'll do unless you are in that situation. All we can do is pray for these women to have strength.
2007-02-20 01:50:06 · answer #8 · answered by Tom and Aimee N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many women will do anything to keep the relationship intact. They keep waiting for that slice of cake to become whole again. Once it does chip away at your soul,however,it is time to make a change. Many of us feel as if,somehow,it is all our fault. Many of us fear the financial differences. Many of us (right or wrong) stayed for the children. Many of us fear not only being alone but being lonely and vulnerable. Many of us fear making the same mistake again. Most ,if not all,have low self esteem if this went on for a long time. It takes courage to make "the move" but,in the long run, we all realize that life is full of risks, and once we ralize the other side has rewards,we take that leap.
2007-02-19 05:00:39 · answer #9 · answered by lindajm2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they have low self esteem & they feel that they can't do any better. Some women actually believe that they deserve to be mistreated. It's generally a cycle that is perpetuated from generation to generation in most cases. Until the woman realizes her worth, even if she gets out of one bad relationship, she will repeat the same mistakes in another one. It is very sad & these women need guidance & help but many won't admit that they need it.
2007-02-19 04:55:27 · answer #10 · answered by Sandi Beach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋