Why is everybody so afraid of rejection?

Question

Wouldn't you rather fear having regrets about not giving something a try? I mean both in love as well as in other things.

Answer 1

Because it makes you feel like a failure and that you're inadequate. To be rejected means that you are trying to succeed in a certain thing, and when you're done, and then rejected.... the INITIAL feeling is that you've failed. On the other hand if you view rejection as a means to grow, maybe people wouldn't fear it so much.

Answer 2

Albert Ellis (a clinical pyschologist who ushered in the cognitive revolution) would point out that the *concern* of rejection is a healthy one, but that it may the "awfulization" and "catastrophization" of social dissaproval that creates the unnecesary "fearful" emotion, not neccasairly the event itself.

The person then self denigrates -i.e "becuase I failed once,I will fail now. I am a failure and will only fail. People dont like failures."

Ellis would point out that the *wanting* of acceptance and approval is logical, healthy sane, but that to *demand* that we never be rejected and dissaproved, (and that that if this happened it would be awfull and terrible), is a logical error and that it is this that creates the emotion of "fear" itself. He advises us that it is our belief systems that create our response to an activating event, resulting in behavioural and emotional consequences.

"Awfulisation" of an event is illogical becuase it frequently does not let you get what you want, implies that an event is worse than it actually is, and overestimates its inconvenience, and the persons skillts to adapt or find new choices and application.

Ellis devised "Shame Attacking Excercises" in his clinical theory to reduce peoples fear of rejection and he himself practised receiving dissaproval whilst accept himself entirely with his perceived shortcomings and peoples dislike of him when he was a child. These excercises were planned to show the client that rejection is NOT unberable or catastrophic and that the end of the world is not nigh when they think they are about to recieve dissaproval in whatever form.

So to sum up, it is better to take risks and chances than be stuck in a rut complaining about what could and couldnt have happened, and that when rejection does happen its a discomfort, sometimes a very strong and tragic discomfort in some cases, but never catastrophic nor unbearable.

Answer 3

Not everybody is afraid of rejections,only the losers. Try and Try Until You Succeed that is the motto of a winner. Regrets is for people that are afraid to use their potentials on exploring life.One asker ,,said on my answers that "at least I could have given one regrets,here is a parable.We plan a picnic,on the park,it was sunny,,we are injoying the picnic,all of a sudden it rain so heavily and we were soak and got sick of flu. I married a successful kind man, then he become addicted to street drugs that he become a useless person. Should I regret going to the picnic, marrying? I have no control on these outcomes, so I have no regrets.I have to accept that life has ups and downs,but I have to keep on going to expereince life as long as I live..Does this make sense to you?

Answer 4

Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

But a person who had been rejected as a child might well develop a fear of rejection so strong in adult life that it would warrant therapy.

Answer 5

What makes you think they are?

It is not the fear of rejection, it is the reality of acceptance that scares most people. If the alternative is better then why bother?

Answer 6

Rejection is a mean of failure. Trying is one thing, to be successufl is another. No one wants to be called loser or accepted in society.

For examples, if you get lots of job interviews, and yet no one wants to hire you. That rejection was like a joke to you because we do not need to have chances. We need actual opportunities to be recognized, not a "try"

Answer 7

because we shouldn't regret we should learn from our mistakes but to do that we take so ego bruising and self-esteem bashing along the way hence why we are afraid of rejection.

Answer 8

People are scared of rejection because if they get rejected they start to feel like there is something wrong with them, especially if another person doesn't return their feelings. No one wants to feel unattractive, uncool, etc, so they hide how they really feel to protect their own emotions.

Answer 9

i learned this in class the other day that everyone may like or love someone that may like or love them back, but no one wants to admit it because everyone is afraid of being rejected. rejection is just a thing that no one wants to experience so people go around keeping their feelings about their crushes to themselves because of one thing: REJECTION.
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Answer 10

The same area of the brain is activated by rejection and physical pain. i.e. when you hurt yourself or are rejected, it is registered in the same part of the brain.....put 1 +1 together.