What makes men be verbally abusive and controlling to women and children but not to other men?

Question

What actually promotes them to see the harm they do to people emotionally and want to stop the abuse and controlling?

Answer 1

its insecurities.. its a lack of feeling in control..

i'm not quite sure how to get them to see what they are doing..

but my guess is if your tired of it move on.. he isn't going to change

Answer 2

These types of men are cowards and insecure with themselves. That's why they pick on women and children who are weaker than they are. They don't have the guts to say those things to another man who would handle the situation physically. Talking to them and telling them about the pain it causes you may stop it for a brief period, but they actually need some help in realizing it is a problem. Maybe you should tape record him putting you down and being mean to the children one day and then when he is calm play it for him. I think if they were aware of how awful and vicious they sound they might change. These men are adult bullies and that's all there is to it. Don't stay in a relationship with verbal abuse. It can damage you as much emotionally as physical abuse damages you physically. Get help.

Answer 3

What makes women be verbally abusive and controlling to men and children but not to other women?

If you know the answer to this then the answer to your question is the same. Far more women are verbally abusive to their families, but men don't go cry to their buddies about it, but women do. Women get sympathy for this. Men get laughed at.

Don't give me any numbers or statistics, as men rarely report this sort of thing. Been there, done that. Learned a lot since.

It's funny how women fought for 'equality', but choose to perpetuate the 'in-equities' that favor their sex.

Yours is a human social question well worth pondering when it's not unjustly directed at men.

Wake up !!

Answer 4

When a man is like that only to women and children it's because they are insecure and have a need to control someone. THey won't try to control another man becaue of their insecurity that they can't. The only way for these types of people to open their eyes is to have the ones they try to control no longer there to be controlled. I hate to say that, but from my experience that seems to be the only way. But there is always the chance that he doesn't realize that he's doing it and just needs it pointed out to him. Please don't think I'm saying leave him, but if you're uncomfortable with the situation it may help if you let him know that this type of behavior wil not be tolerated and that it is an option, but be careful as men who are abusive in that way may also become physically abusive when threatened.

Answer 5

They are scared little boys who want so badly to be men.But they don't know the right way to go about it.Leaving will promote some kind of change,but it is hard to say what kind that will be.What you described is abuse,and it could very well turn physical.If it hasn't already.Either way,You and your children are not in a safe place.In my opinion it would be best for you and your children to leave.Not threaten to leave but really do it,and not worry about how you will survive.You survived before you met him,you can do it again.I know you want to help him,but he won't listen to anything you have to say.Especially when he is already verbally abusing you and your children.Do the right thing for you and the kids,and that is not to stay there.

Answer 6

Well when a man can control a woman and children he feels good doing it. ANd he won't abuse a man because he knows a man will slap him or beat him up and he can't control them. SO men who abuse women and children are cowards and need to be punished. What I don't get is why do women alwasy keep coming back to the abuse when they leave them. Can't understand that.

Answer 7

That's why you got to wear the pants in the relationship and lay down the law woman. The only verbal abuse should be coming from you when you call your husband lazy for not helping clean the house or inviting his friends over to watch the game and they leave all the empty pizza boxes with beer cans around the room and then you verbally abuse him by calling him a pig.

Answer 8

Man are abusive to kids and women but not other men, because other men are more likely to punch them in the face. Any guy that abuses women or kids can't be changed. Most people do not tolerate abusive people. They simply cut off relations with the abusive person. However, based on your question, it seems like you are the rare type of person that needs to "fix" people. Although your goal is a good one, it is a impossible path full of heartache and pain for you, and the people that love you. You would be better off ignoring your instincts and do what other people do. avoid the person in question for the rest of your life.

Answer 9

First of all you are dealing with an individual who has deep seeded issues in his relationships with women. It could stem from his childhood; an abusive or controlling mother. When it comes to this type of individual, they are normally drawn to weak, passive, helpless women and then continue the verbal abuse and control that was put upon them as a child. They will try to keep them away from family and friends. The only thing that can help a person like this is intense therapy and anger management programs. He will continue this behavior till he gets some help. As far as his relationship with men, he mostly will be drawn to macho men as friends. They pose no threat and he cannot abuse them and he feels comfortable in their company. My advice to a person living with someone like this is to suggest counseling, or to actually contemplate divorce or separation. A person like this can be dangerous, so it would helpful to see a therapist or ask advice from your pastor or members of your family for help. It cannot be done alone. You need the proper advice and support from family.

Answer 10

I think that men who are abusive and controlling to women or children are insecure. They are probably scared to do it to men for fear of getting their a s s kicked! Women are more vulnerable and timid making them feel a false sense of security and control. Men like that never change. Their egos depend on inflicting abuse to weaker people than them. Makes them feel big.

Answer 11

I think men are more readily abusive to their women and children because they know they can get away with it. If they strike or mouth off to another man, they will probably get punched in the mouth. I've known women who have struck back and put their men into shock.

Personally, I could not stay close to anyone who tried to abuse me.