I am 22, and I have been seeing this guy that is 20. We actually have only been dating for 2 months, well, we have had unprotective sex with no condom or no birth control. Well he started spazzing out, and now he doesn't want a 'serious relationship' and says that if I do come to be pregnant he wants me to get an abortion because 'his family....friends...and preacher' will look down on him for having a child out of wedlock. I had looked on the ovulation calculator to see if I was ovualating, which I was. What do I do??....Any ideas??....I asked him if I were to be pregnant if it would be the end of the world to him and he said it would be....?.......I am so stressed out about this!
2007-02-19 04:27:54 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
well then perhaps he should have thought about that before having unprotected sex..
i am not against abortions.. i think its a decison that you both have to make.. and to agree upon. i mean having kids is a big responsibility.. sounds like hes' not ready for it..
if you are pregant do you really want to go about it on your own.. as it doesn't sound like he wants to be invovled
2007-02-19 04:31:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First things first - wait until you know whether you're pregnant or not before you freak out. He sounds way too immature for you - I'd break up with him. Also - you might want to reconsider being sexually active - I don't mean to sound like a jerk but the best way to avoid having a baby out of wedlock is don't have sex out of wedlock (you might want to tell him that too!!) If you do end up pregnant then you have to decide what you will do - I surely wouldn't get an abortion just so he won't have to deal with his parents, friends, and preacher. Remember that you are the one who will have to live with whatever decision is made.
2007-02-19 13:24:48 · answer #2 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, you could have the opportunity of bringing a beautiful child into this world who is guaranteed to be destined for something good, because you sound as though you'd make sure he/she was raised properly. Second, it sounds like this guy is going to get out either way, pregnant or not, so why are you allowing him to still control such an important decision about two lives, both of which at this time you have full control over.
Abortion isn't the way to go. This child has so much to give... all those children do. And if you're not ready to raise the child, that's TOTALLY fine, there are people out there who are. You have options, and people who can help. But don't listen to this guy. He doesn't care about you or how you feel. He just wants to protect his reputation, not matter how painful the cost. Does that sound like someone you're going to want to listen to?
2007-02-19 12:40:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are pregnant, then you need to do what you think is best. Your boyfriend first needs to realize that abortion is NOT a form of birth control and if he is willing to have sex without protection, he needs to be willing to accept the consequences. This baby would be growing inside YOU and you need to figure out what you want to do. Are you willing to kill the baby just because you didn't use protection?
You need to tell your boyfriend to grow up and that you need to make an adult decision about this. It doesn't matter what his friends or family would think, the point of the matter is, if you are pregnant... you're pregnant, and it happened.
Honestly I believe that some people should be able to have abortions, rape victims or people who tried their best not to get pregnant for health reasons and got pregnant anyway... but I don't believe that people should get an abortion if they didn't try to prevent the pregnancy in the first place.
I hope you figure it out. Good luck... and you really need to talk to your boyfriend after you figure out what's best for you.
2007-02-19 12:50:33 · answer #4 · answered by Danielle M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people on here keep saying you should have had protected sex. Thats true. But if you'd known he would be so adamant about not keeping the life he may make with you, would you still have wanted to have sex with him, protected or not?
It's unattractive to me, to hear a 'man' act so childish and selfish and then use his family and church as scapegoats for him wanting to continue a hedonistic lifestyle. What a turnoff.
Anyway, don't make that one regret into two. If you are pregnant, stop thinking about him hiding from his mom, and more about how much good will come into your life out of this mistake. As a 22 year old woman who recently had a miscarriage, I am totally envious of women like you! You may have a little girl in your belly who will always recognize your voice...will have your hair and nose...etc..who will unconditionally love you! Maybe once you stand up and are excited about being a responsible mom, he will see how much of an oppurtunity this is for him to step up and show his family, friends, church and YOU what a true man he is!
Good luck and love life!
2007-02-20 23:44:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My first sons father was like that when he found out i was preggers and we are no longer together. But i have a beautiful 4 yr old who with his 7 month old brother are my world. I have found a better man who loves and supports my older son even though he isn't his son. It boils down to 2 things.
1. At your age you should know better then to have unprotected sex. you know the consiquinces.
2. If you are preggers then you have to decide whats best for YOU not him. If you think you are ready to be a mom then by all means have and raise that baby.But if you're not then you have some heavy desicions to make.
GOOD LUCK and if i were you regardless of pregnancy i would lose the loser that is more concerned with his image then with you and your feelings because thats never going to change.
2007-02-19 12:41:22 · answer #6 · answered by hotmamainmi1982 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are pregnant, your first concern needs to be protecting yourself and your baby, not your boyfriend and not his family. He is a grown man and knew when he had sex with you that a baby could result. Don't feel sorry for him and don't allow him to manipulate you. Frankly, he is being an irresponsible jerk. Please keep in mind that he will be legally responsible for child support whether he likes it or not, and there is also other help available for you (see links below).
It's important that you understand the true nature of abortion and the risks involved for you as well. Please take a look at this information:
Photos and Video of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html
Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com
Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/girlswhoaborted.cfm
Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/complicationsgirls.cfm
Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.nrlc.org/Factsheets/FS15_pilldanger.pdf
Free, Confidential Pregnancy Help (including referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds; free maternity and baby supplies; pregnancy, parenting, and adoption information; counseling and emotional support):
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp
http://www.heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide_directory.asp
Support for Pregnant College and Career Women:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org
If you are pregnant, you can do the right thing. You can't control your boyfriend's attitude, only your own actions. Take good care of yourself and your baby.
2007-02-21 09:55:37 · answer #7 · answered by Just the Facts 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your choice, not his. They would look down on him because they would see him for who he really is. A horn dog. So.... have the baby.... tell him, I'm doing this with or without you. AND Either you tell your family, or I will. A baby needs a father, and you need to let go of your stupid pride and own your responsibilities. You now have a responsibility to me and to your new child. We can either make this work or not. It's up to you.... but you are not killing my baby. It would be really worth it to you to be a man and take this on. The consequences for leaving us would be worse than telling your parents that you had sex. I would be forced to tell them that I need a paternity test to show the courts that you are the baby's father. I would be forced to take money from you every month for like 24 years. I don't want to do those things. We have a baby together, and we need to give it a good home. Then see what he says. Don't destroy your body and a potential human being for the sake of a boyfriend's pride. That's BS.
2007-02-19 12:46:15 · answer #8 · answered by jennilaine777 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Seems to me any REAL preacher would look down on abortion
I think you need to abort him from your life and find someone who is serious about you. Generally when a guy says they don't want you to have their baby is because they are not thinking in terms of long term relationship with you.
2007-02-19 12:37:40 · answer #9 · answered by sapphire_630 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to realize that having unprotected sex is just that. He should have thought about the possibility of a baby. It's not your fault!
In my eyes, it is better to loose him over this. It just shows he doesn't value you at all. You were a toy to him. All he wanted was sex- not you. HE HAS NO DESIRE TO BE WITH YOU!
Ditch him, even if you aren't pregnant.
If you are, keep the baby. It's a child :) Love it!
2007-02-19 12:38:20 · answer #10 · answered by Chick-a-Dee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your body your choice and if you dont want to kill your baby and have that guilt on your conscious for the rest of your life i suggest you sit down and really think about it. This guy is a jerk i'm sure he knew the consequences if he did not want to be in this predictament he should of rap it up. Personally i would keep the baby and work extra hard to make sure my baby has the best of care. Why dont you talk to your parents they can give you some guidance.
2007-02-19 12:38:38 · answer #11 · answered by Mrspaul 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋