How should i punish my 6 year old son when the other day he made racial slurs to another black boy?

Question

they were playing in the park together when suddenly the black boy got near and my son went stay away from me ni**er! i got so embarrassed i had to scold my son in front of everyone and left i dont know where he learned that from it must be from the tv or the other older kids around how do i make him stop using that word i dont want him to grow up racist

Answer 1

I would make him apologize and Id punish him by taking something away for awhile. Id have a talk with him and Id ask him where he heard the word. Just tell him how wrong it is and how hurtful it is. If you teach him, he wont grow up racist.*

Answer 2

Have him read 'The Sneetches', by Dr. Seuss. Read it with him.
Discuss it and ask him if he learned anything and point out the similarities in what he did and what the sneetches did. It's one of the greatest lessons out there about recognizing differences, combatting predjudice and teaching tolerance. He might be able to associate his actions with the story.

If you're not familiar with the story, here's a synopsis, and the reason why Seuss wrote the story:

Synopsis of The Sneetches: Sneetches come in two varieties; some have stars on their bellies and some do not. The star-bellied Sneetches think that they are superior to the plain-bellied Sneetches. They do not let them play or come to their marshmallow roasts. Soon a con man comes to the beach with a machine that will place stars on bellies. All the plain-bellied Sneetches pay the man to have stars put on their bellies. The Sneetches with stars are outraged and they pay to have their stars removed. The Sneetches spend the day having stars put on and off and on and off until they are completely out of money. At the end, the Sneetches decide that they are all the same and that the stars do not matter.

The reason Dr. Seuss wrote The Sneetches is that he went through some troublesome times as a child. When he was young he was Jewish and his parents were German. So kids made fun of him and threw coal at him when he was walking to school. He wanted to tell everybody that they are equal so he wrote Sneetches.

Cave

EDIT: I can't believe I just got pulled in by a TROLL. Very subtle, Dude. Good form! Until I read your other questions I actually believed you. Guess I'm not as smart as I think I am. Oh, well. The post stands as it's still a good answer and a good lesson. Maybe someone else can actually benefit from it.

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Answer 3

As far as the word itself, you can treat it just like any other word you don't want him saying. But I would be more concerned with the root of the behavior that the actual word. Not only does he know how to say the word, he also has somehow come by the idea that black people should stay away from him. It was not an innocent use of the word, like he thought that maybe that's what that type of people are called. You should do your best to figure out where he picked up the word AND the attitude, and remove that influence from his life. Or if this isn't possible, at least make him understand that it is a bad influence. I'm glad you're taking your responsibility as a parent seriously, I wish more people would.

Answer 4

First you need to find out where your son heard this word. Children normally repeat what they hear. If it is not you or a family member, it could be the TV. My suggestion is to sit your child down and explain why what he said was bad. Then explain that because we hear someone say something doesn't make it okay to repeat. The let him know that all people are different and we do not all look alike and are not the same color. If your teach him this and keep it up in your own home , he will not be a racist.
Being brought up in a racist home I know how these words hurt people, children are cruel but it is up to us parents to guide them in the right direction. God made us all different, because if we all looked alike and smelled alike (like flowers in a flowerbed) We would be a boring lot. And no one would be special in thier way.

Answer 5

He must of heard it from someone else , you should of spoken to him right then in front of the boy , confront him on where he heard this , and in the way of doing this you could also tell him the whys and dont of rasism, you teach by example! Punishing him will make things worse , spend more time with him and black children , read books together on black and other diferent peoples to him , get him invloved at the community level with others of color different from him , but do not punisjh him , he will not learn ,he will hate more , teach by example ,if you dont have any black or other friends ,go make some ,make it natural fr him to accept others , and teach him religion , it will make him more undestandable for him. Good luck, Hugs,

Answer 6

I wouldnt punish him, I'd sit down with him and ask him 1st where he learned a word like that & then explain how hurtful it is to discriminate against someone & what horrible things have happened to good people just because of the way they look- & ask him how he would feel if someone hated him just for the color of his skin or eyes, or for his clothes... let him know that everyone deserves to be treated kindly & that the behavior is totally unacceptable. Also that if he hears someone else being cruel in this way, that he should be the better person & tell them how he thinks that is wrong & mean.

Answer 7

kids will say and get the parents in trouble no matter how hard you try. First thing is to try and find out why he said it and what he thinks it really means. Next try explaining why he shouldn't talk like that and how it will only hurt others and eventually land him in some kind of trouble. If that works and he truly (at least you think or he acts)like he understands I would hold off on anymore punishment, if there is a next time-try taking a favorite toy or event etc.. away Don't know if it works or not (at least they're not doing it in front of me that I know of), but I explain to my kids how it hurts and how would they feel if they were on the receiving end. Best of luck.

Answer 8

I would say you should ask him where he heard that word and see if he even fully understands what it means. He probably was just repeating something from tv, so in a way you can't really punish him if he really didn't know any better. Maybe you could just explain how the word is offensive and that he should never say it, and THEN if he does it again it's time to start thinking about a punishment because then he knows better.

Answer 9

Remember he is just a child so make sure you don't sound mad at him but you just have to tell him that it's not a nice word to say and maybe get him into american history (focusing in on african americans).Let him know that word is a strong word and should not be used. There could be something at the library that could be a good tool for his age etc. The next time you hear him say it, I would then figure out how to punish him.

Answer 10

Maybe your son was a little confused because it seems to be "accepted" to call each other that in the black community. But he is using it in a derrogatory way which is unhealthy, as you know that already. Explain that that was a word is nothing but a hateful word made up by ignorant, unintelligent racists. It is a word that is , in my opinion, bad as an F word or anything else.

Answer 11

Punishment is not the answer here. You have to educate. It is possible that he learned it from TV or even Music. Many people in the media industry are using this term to speak in a manner of respect, but it is not. They fail to see the impact it has on our children. First you must understand where he learned it, and also what he thinks it means, from there you can edcate your son on why it is wrong.