I build the courage to finally ask.....?

Question

So, I build the courage to ask my boyfriend why he didn't get me a Valentines gift. His answer, does not believe in giving flowers because it's like giving flowers to the dead. And that Valentines it's a commercialize holiday. However he was unable to explain on why is it that he then gave roses and cooked for his exgirlfriend. I was so upset, that I just dropped it. I feel as I am not worthy enough to not receive a thoughtful gift from him on Valentines or any time of the year. I am just so dissapointed and sometimes don't feel as I should be with him...........

I did give him something worth $120.00, but the money is not the issue. We did communicate and he knew that I was expecting something. And no I don't base it on Valentines alone (all year). However, it hurts to know that he was capable of giving his exgirlfriend something. And it makes me feel as he doesn't care, care enough that is........

Answer 1

You should be discussing this with him.

Open communication is a key in any relationship. He cannot read your mind, nor can you read his.

You guys should have openly expressed what each of you expected with the Valentine's holiday before it arrived.

I told my husband weeks ahead of time that I expected flowers to be sent to me at work.

He said ok, but later we had unexpected financial obligations and he said money is REAL tight, and that he will send me flowers "just because" some other time , not because of a national "commercialized" holiday.

Guys don't generally like Vday, it kinda "forces" them to be romantic, and us women put expectations on them.

He would probably prefer to do something for you for your birthday or you guys's anniversary.

Talk to him, and communicate how sad you felt about not getting something for Valentine's.

Also did you get HIM anything for Valentine's Day? Sometimes we have to show our men how to be thoughtful. If you DID get him something, he SHOULD feel guilty, and be thoughtful enough to do something for you.

PS. I like the PP comment about March 14 National Steak and BJ Day, I think that's fair! lol

Answer 2

I type of understand what you advise, yet in case you dont ever ask her, then you fairly will remorseful about it sometime and continually ask your self....what if she stated sure? Its humorous with me because at the same time as i love a guy i do not opt for to exhibit him i love him i pick to be mysterious about it and promises some tricks yet i do not opt for to be obtrusive about it both, so it may well be that she is like that, or she might want to no longer have an interest. i imagine its tremendous that you stated you chat for the duration of lunch which potential you've already got the first step that you adult males are pals and are talking, now merely tell her you would possibly want to fulfill her someplace or call her and ask her out! Be a guy! lol if she says no, than thats ok a minimum of you know and could by no potential ask your self, and also you could bypass on to someone extra useful. Remeber do not continually assume. Thats one lesson I have discovered.

Answer 3

It's possible that his opinion of the holiday may have changed since then and now. I know mine has as well.

But... for him to make that Valentine's day is a commercial holiday and all that crap as a valid response, he'd have to show some sort of extra ordinary form of affection at some point. Otherwise, he's covering up that he's just being an asshat. Especially if you went out of your way and did something for him.

Perhaps you should talk about this, you don't seem to feel like you're being appreciated enough. If he blows you off, then... I think you're better off finding someone who actually gives you the attention and affection you're worth.

And DEFINITELY ignore the fact that March 14 is Steak and BJ day.

Answer 4

Either he gave you the lamest of excuses, or he considers his ex-girlfriend to be dead (since he gave her flowers). Just evaluate his treatment of you and determine whether his heart is still with his ex-girlfriend or with you. (You can do that better than we can.) It sounds like he is engaging in questionable behavior and his priorities are not what you might have believed them to be previously. He is probably hiding things from you, so determine whether or not his general behavior points up inconsistencies like the one you mentioned. If you have a man who deals falsely with you, the relationship cannot last. Trust is essential, and it sounds like you cannot trust him and that he does not try to earn your trust. Personally, I would drop him and tell him to make up his mind but that you won't be strung along while he does. But I do not know the whole story.

P.S. I suppose I was unclear on whether he had done this for his ex-girlfriend before you were together or during this last holiday. The answer would be different depending on which is true...

Answer 5

Did he do anything else to spoil you on Valentine's Day, or did he just act like it was any other day? If he didn't even attempt to show you that he cares for you, then I'm afraid he doesn't.

Just because he doesn't believe in doing something special for you on Valentine's Day, doesn't mean that you should automatically know it, and agree with him.

Did he try to discuss the issue with you before, so that you would at least be prepared? If he didn't, then it means that he couldn't be bothered. If so, dump him.

Answer 6

try not to be afraid to hear the word no, or im not intresed. someti
me we use words like that to protect ourown self, and our feeling
s. often times, all it takes, is for the other person to get to know t
ou. but while you are taking a look at the other person, also take
a look at yourself. and think about what is the real reason that you
are looking at the other person? could it be for lustful reasons, or
peer pressure? you are the only one who knows the answer, a word to the wise, go real slow, and think about every word that yo
u may say, every feeling and emotion that you may feel. every flirt
that you may tease with, and every trick that you may use? Every
thing that you use sneeky and underhandedly, will soon find its way back to you. and in the end the whole world will know what you have done?

Answer 7

you think givin roses on valentines day showz u how much ur bf loves u?? why is it that u choose one day to expect ur bf to do stuff for u???

I find it quite alarming. You should ask ur bf to give u flowers every single day. Talk to him. Talk it out. He aint no prophet that the lord is gonaa reveal it to him that ur gf needs this ur gf needs that.

No, conversation helps a lot. Try to be understanding. Thats it :)

I believe every day should be valentines day

Would U believe i dont celebrate valentines day...
wat i celebrate is pre valentines..an post valentines :)

thats kinda more cooll

take care

hav funnnnn (f)

Answer 8

Dont be carried out with such petty things dear, Ok first of all, maybe Valentine's day is just another day to your boy he sees it as just a day like Monday. By the way what did you bring him?

Answer 9

WELL .... he is a bozo isn't he?

he basically told you that he is a cheap skate and that he doesn't care about you by not caring to do anything for you...

off to the dump with him..... cya dude

if it has ever crossed your mind that you and he should not be together........ then that is your intuition / gut feeling telling you that something is wrong... and no matter what...
LISTEN TO THAT VOICE INSIDE OF YOU... IT WILL NEVER STEER YOU WRONG

Answer 10

He might have issues with his last relationship(ex-girlfriend) that are unresolved.Talk to him about it,don't argue about it so you'll get him to open up to you.He might be holding some anger towards her,maybe he needs to learn to trust again.It's up to you to stick around and help him.If you can't leave him.Good Luck.