I was cleaning my 14 year-old daughter's room yesterday and found a "love" note she had written to one of her male teachers. She went into great explicit detail about sexual things she wanted to do with him. She is still a virgin but the things she was talking about in this letter were very sexually aggressive in nature. How should I handle this? What should I say or do to my daughter?
2007-02-19 03:33:34 · 26 answers · asked by hotrodgirl1973 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Let it be. Everybody had a crush on a teacher. And it can be just a joke!
If you're really concerned maybe you could talk to her. I don't know what the letter said but it was probably just a teenage practical joke!
2007-02-19 06:08:56 · answer #1 · answered by greenlinxx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one... On one side, you want to preserve her trust so you don't want her to think you were "snooping" through her things. On another side, you're worried that she may do something stupid. I think this letter you found may just be a release, a form of venting. No worse, I think, than the 14 year-old boy who develops and attraction for the sexy new english teacher, the babe in the August issue of Penthouse, or the hot mom or older sister next door. Young people have become more adept (certainly more graphic) when it comes to expressing themselves and that's all this may be. Hormones...
You have remind yourself that you found the letter. Your daughter didn't give it to the teacher, did she...
If you feel strongly about confronting your daughter, be tactful. This seems like a great opportunity to gain her confidence so it'll all depend on how you approach her. Do it the wrong way and you'll scare her away and she'll close herself from you. If you do talk to her, remember that these feelings are normal and healthy (means everything is working!!). Don't be afraid to tell her about similar feelings you may have had for a teacher when you were her age. Be sure to mention and differentiate between infatuation and true feelings. Don't dwell on the specifics of the letter. Rather, look at it as a whole, what she's feeling and trying to say. What separates normal from not-so-normal is whether she actually acts on these feelings (remember, she's 14, not 24).
2007-02-19 04:18:38 · answer #2 · answered by Snape 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell her you found the note, first of all...you ay lose her trust and she may not want to talk to you bout this or anything of this nature. Your bes bet is to broach the subject of sex (again in case you already have) but tell her to ask you any and all questions she may have without being shy. She has probbaly heard the things that she wrote in her letter from friends at school. Kids at her age are very curious, and she likely had no intention of giving her teacher the letter butshe may have had to express herself in ways she wouldn't be able to do otherwise. Its not unnatural for a student to have a srush on a teacher, even if it is inappropriate, I'm sure the teacher wouldn't reciprocte her feelings. She may also be learning these things on the internt and you should look into getting an unbreakable parental filter. Good Luck!
2007-02-19 03:40:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, she may not have sent the note, she may just be working things out in her head.
Second, did you "find" the note in a place which is going to lead your daughter to feel her privacy was violated?
My advice: have a frank discussion with your daughter about sexuality, in which the subject of the note does NOT come up. You could however, ask questions like: is there anyone in particular you are finding yourself sexually attracted to? And see if she takes that opportunity to bring up the teacher.
2007-02-19 03:39:04 · answer #4 · answered by snowgoose8 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
it incredibly is this way of undesirable theory i do no longer even choose for to represent that there could be a place the place a pregnant 14 12 months previous can marry a 30 12 months previous without parental permission. particularly of helping your sister make this large mistake you will possibly desire to help her communicate on your mom and get your sister some person help. She shouldn't marry this guy. i've got self belief the only reason he needs to marry her is as a results of the fact, as an person, he knows he has dedicated a extreme criminal crime via having intercourse with a 14 12 months previous. as quickly as he marries her, he will sell off her. do no longer enable your sister make this errors. tell your mom. no longer something the mummy will do could be as undesirable as your 14 12 months previous sister marrying this 30 12 months previous guy. have confidence me.
2016-10-02 09:33:35 · answer #5 · answered by newborn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit her stupid butt down and ask her why in the world she wrote the note!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's only 14 - she has no idea in the world what 'love' is - nor has she any business knowing explicit sexual things!
You need to tell her to focus on her education and do NOT even think about having sex until after she is married!
You also need to go with her and have her apologize to the teacher.
2007-02-19 04:08:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
ok first of all. why are YOU cleaning HER room. wow thats considered a luxury in my house since it never happens. um the best thing to do id say would be to leave it alone. put the note back. i was in my parents room once and i found a note that i had written to a girl i liked. (ouch) i felt bad since i was sure they had read it. so put it back, and just watch your daughter more closely. shell never know u saw it
2007-02-19 05:38:56 · answer #7 · answered by sambucca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey it's quite natural for her to have these feelings especially about a teacher,
Providing the teacher in question doesn't respond then it's perfectly harmless and very normal,
Think back to when you were 14
2007-02-19 03:43:38 · answer #8 · answered by Elle J Morgan 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tlk to her an determine if there is something actually happening with her teacher. It is very likely that she just has a "crush" on him, and would never actually give him that letter... maybe it's a dare from a friend? You never know, so you need to get the story from her.
Obviously, if there is something going on between her and her teacher (even if it's only emotionally), authorities need to be involoved.
2007-02-19 03:39:02 · answer #9 · answered by naenae0011 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wrote a love note to one of my teachers, it had nothing sexually explicit, but I did give it to him in 8th grade. I was counseled, my dad was called. I was later sent into a short-term mental facility... after I sliced my wrists. You have got to talk to her!!! If she is really in love with him :( I am still in love with my teacher(haven't seen him in 2 yrs, I stay away!!!! I even got married to someone else) You have got to help her through it!!! My case was extreme this is not very common... but help her she needs you badly!!!
Just talk to her about laws, human nature (how sometimes we can't help how we feel, but we can control it)
2007-02-19 03:47:20 · answer #10 · answered by marymouse26 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋