A nice guy asked me out, should i feel guilty if i say no? will he think i like him if i go? PLS ANSWER...?

Question

i was transferred to the class where this guy is on for this last year in college. we don't speak or whatever but then one day he just told me he wants me to hear a song that he composed for me. then he started texting me and trying to be close. but we don't see each other that often because i go on hospital duties on different wards from where he goes, only once a week during class. then tonight he asked me if i would like to go to a post valentine concert where he and his band will be playing the song he composed and he said he really hopes i could come and he'll get me a ticket if i will and is waiting for my reply now. i have come from a breakup (2years ago) and recovering still because it had been on and off in the past two years. i like this guy and he interests me but i dont know what to do.. is it rude to say no? or if i go just to hear the song will he think that i like him too? which i dont want him to think......

thank you..

Answer 1

Terra,
By ALL means, go to the Concert! By going to it doesn't mean you would be giving the guy ANY impressions! It's a nice gesture that a man would write a song FOR YOU, WOW! I'd be dancing in air!

Sure, being that you are getting over a recent relationship, you can still be Friends with this new Friend, and go to the Concert with an open mind, that's all you have to do! It would be good for you to get out, know what I mean?

Not that it would be rude if you didn't go, it's just that this friend went through alot composing a song, which is special in this day and age to do, and you would hurt his feelings if you don't at least go and hear the song!

I think you will be glad that you did go and you would enjoy it on all levels. Give it a chance! Also, at this time you need friends to get you through your past hard times and judging from the man's Character, he's will be "there" for you, along with your other friends!

So, go to it with an open mind, have a good time and don't make any expectations in your mind! Just keep it simple!
Be sure to email me back and tell me how it goes!
I hope I helped!

Answer 2

NO you shouldn't feel guilty. Attraction is a very personal thing and just because someone wants you to be attracted to them in no way obliges you to feel that. Relationships are investments and if you don't want to invest then that is your choice. Would you feel bad if I really wanted you to buy my Van but you didn't want it.

Now if you think he may be a good person but you have other emotions to consider then tell him the state you are in. Spend time with him but let him know that you aren't ready to move forward. If he is a gentleman and worth it he will understand and you will soon develope the same feelings for him. If he is too immature to understand you then it is his lose.

Answer 3

Of course it's not rude to say no...just don't word your rejection in a rude manner. It would be rude to go if you really don't want to, because it would cause him to have hope of interest from you.

Perhaps in your "no" you should include appreciation for his interest but that you are choosing to hang on to a 2 yrs ended relationship and not get over it, and thus aren't emotionally ready to date.

P.S. Two years is well beyond the amount of time you should need to get over your past relationship. When are you going to allow yourself to move on? What benefit are you getting out of holding on to it, other than a convenient excuse not to date and put yourself out there again? You're really allowing yourself to miss out... ☺

Answer 4

You can go, just be honest with him let him no that you're not interested in being with anyone right now. You guys could just be friends and later if you both decide to take it to another level then that's great. As long as you're honest and not misleading then there is nothing wrong with it. You have to be friends first anyway. That's how you get to know people you wouldn't want to jump in head first anyway.

Answer 5

Tell him up front. I would like to go listen to the song, but, I'm not ready for any relationship. If I go, I don't want you to have ideas I'm leading you on or I don't want you to believe I'm interested in a relationship.
I had this same happen to me once and I told him up front and we became good friends. He respected my wishes. He just wanted someone to go have fun with.

Answer 6

well just follow your feelings...dont force your self to go if you really dont feel for him! if youre still uncomfortable since your break up then dont go...

no, i dont think its rude to say no because u may not feel the same feelings he feels about u

yeah i think if u do go to hear the song he'll think that u like him and he mite ask u out again and ull be trapped! so dont say yes out of pity, say yes if u really like him

Answer 7

If your heart is not really into it don't go. If you like the guy then go, if you don't just tell him that you aren't going to be able to make it. If he is as good and as nice as you make him out to be then i think that you should go and give him a shot. And don't let one bad relationship ruin your future relationships.

Answer 8

well, this really depends on whether you think that you could possibly like him later on when u get to know him better. if you think theres no possible way, then jusy say no!! but if theres a slight change of you liking him later on, then id go as friends make sure hes knows your just friends tho!!

Answer 9

just go out with him. whats the big deal if he's nice the least you could do is go out with him. just don't get too intimate if you don't like him. you don't want to send him the wrong message. let him know that you just wantto be friends.

Answer 10

I think you should go out with him. If you don't have a good time, next time he asks you out, then you can say no. Just once won't hurt and it might be fun.