Guilty for wanting a child?

Question

My boyfriend and I are very much in love and he wants children soooooo bad.. I want children to the thing is im 20 i am very mature for my age i dont drink smoke or do drugs i work fulltime the thing is i cant stand young girls having babies and i feel like if i have a child at my age ill go against everything i believe in... there are times i have to go oh yeah im only 20 because i feel look and act alot holder and my boyfriend is alot older then me which im very happy with as i love him to dealth.

Is it wrong to have a child at 20 if your emotionaly and finacialy matture as if i were 30??

Also i feel like my father would be disapointed and mad..

Should i just do what i think is right or wait a few more years

Answer 1

people said i was immautirre i got pregnant at 19. i am happy for having a child when i am 20..well 21 now. i know i can grow with my child and i wont be old enough to not beable to run with my child and i will be into roughly the same things as my child. i turned 21 in jan i found out i was pregnant nov72005, i am very happy to be my age and it shocks people at how mature but young at heart i can be. if you feel you are ready go for it.being young is like 12 you are an adult. congrats and best of luck. dont worry about who is going to be disappointed with you. in a sence they dont matter, all tat matters in a baby , is you and your partner. everyone else will eventually accept it. i had that situation with my mother in law. when my mother in law was told she was furious and mad, she got over it the next day

Answer 2

What the? Don't be silly!! This is YOUR body. And you are thinking of the children, which is absolutely the right thing to do. If you feel that you can only handle 2, then that is what needs to happen. This situation is very similar to my own parents'. My dad wanted 3 children, but my mom had horrible pregnancies. My bro & I are SIX years apart because my mom had so many miscarriages in-between. She was finally able to hold on to me, but she was so sick w/nausea & vomiting throughout the entire pregnancy, that she had to be hospitalized for most of it. So when I was born my mom decided that there was no way that she she could put herself through such an ordeal again. My dad wouldn't hear of her getting a tubal ligation so she did it behind his back. After the procedure, the clinic wouldn't let her drive herself home so she had to call my dad to come & get her. He was so pissed off that he purposely parked the car far away so she would have to walk! What a ****, eh? It turned out for the best, too. Even my dad admits that we would not have been able to afford a decent lifestyle if they would have had another kid. Bottom line: WHEN YOUR HUSBAND HAS TO GO THROUGH HELL TO BRING A CHILD INTO THIS WORLD, THAT'S WHEN HE CAN BE THE ONE TO DECIDE ON HAVING ANOTHER. END OF STORY.

Answer 3

In my opinion I don't think your young... when you say young girls i'm thinking 16 or 17 year old girls. I got pregnant with my first child at 20 and I was in the military, finiancially stable, and my husband was also in the military and financially stable... we were ready. It all depends on you. If your mature, financially stable and want a child.. then your not going against what you believe. 20 is not that young, you are past your teens, responsible adult, have a full time job then your should be ready if you want to be. Fathers are always going to be mad at first, my husband and I were just dating at the time when i got pregnant, and I was on birth control and we used a condom but fate was for me to get pregnant obviously. My dad was mad b/c we wanted to get married a month later and he was disappointed at first but he got over it b/c he is my father and he loves me.. just as your father loves you. Ofcourse he probably wants you to have fun and to do everything you want to do before having a child. But if you want a child now.. have a child.. if you want to wait.. then your b/f shouldn't be mad b/c you want to wait. He should know that you are younger and you want live a little before you have your baby. Goodluck and hope everything works out great for you...

Answer 4

You have all the time in the world to have children. If you think you'll make a great mother now, you'll only make an even better one if you wait a few years. I would advise waiting until you are happily married and you and your husband have experienced a few years together as "just a couple." You don't get those years back and it's wise to make the most of them. I am sure you'll make a wonderful mother one day, so there is no reason to rush into it.

Answer 5

You should always do what you think is right, its a decision that you will have to live with for the rest of your life. If your boyfriend really loves you then he will understand your need to wait. Babies need stability and it sounds like you have wonderful potential. It is so hard to raise a child when you are younger. If you wait a little bit, it will probably be better in the long run as you wont be resentful of the baby. I'm not saying that young people cant be wonderful parents, its just usually better to wait.

Answer 6

Do what is right for you.

I was 19 when I got pregnant and 20 when I gave birth. I am now going on 22. I have a steady, well-payed career, and there is nothing my daughter wants for. I love spending time with her, and I still have time for myself if I choose. I also have a newer model vehicle and live on my own (not parents)

Being a mom (at any age) has to be a personal decision. Just be sure that you are able to finance that little life, because they truely do depend on you for everything!

Answer 7

it sounds like your not so sure yourself. as you say, your only 20. what about waiting a few more years say until 23? then see how you feel about it then. you should also ask yourself, why does my boyfriend want children so bad? how do you know he wont get you pregnant then leave you? maybe get married first. if its going against everything you believe in then dont do it. only have a baby when you are emotionally and financially ready.

Answer 8

I just think you should really think about it, having a child is a huge responsibility, It is a great thing (I have 3)
You have to think of what kind of mom you want to be if you are just going to have a child to satisfy your needs or your partners (well I would rethink it)
If you are going to have a child and are planning already to work and put the child in daycare, well really you are just going to be a part time mother (is that what you want to be)
I'm not trying to be negative or anything, I just want to let you know that the idea of having a baby is great, but think beyond that, think of having a child and all that it means.

Answer 9

it dose not matter your age ( i agree with the not before 18 thang) I had my first at 19 by choice. we married the year before and we agreed it was right. as far as money goes, you will never have the amount of money it takes. babies do cost a lot, but you get by and it works. I am a stay at home mom and we are great. if you don't want the baby now for other reasons its ok, just talk to your guy about it ( if you like your career and don't want it to take a back burner)

most of my famliy was 15 - 16 yrs when they got pregant
I was the first to graduate ,get married, and get prganantin that order

Answer 10

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it"

You are a mother in the making - a good mother will wait until she is POSITIVE that it's a good time to have a child. A good mother will wait until she has the financial backing for 35 dollar a can formula or 2,000 dollar doctor bills.

There is no hurry, be a good mother now, and wait ...