My ex is trying 2 get access 2 our 15mth old, hes never met her, im conflicted, what should i do?

Question

We broke up when i was 5 and a half months pregnant and she is now 15mnths old. He had never showed interest in seeing her and the last time we spoke was on the phone from across the other side of the country 2 tell me he was cheating on me. Bub and i never heard from him again and now that i have applyed 4 child suporrt he has lobbed up on my door step talkin access/custody. he was on speed when i was with him (i found out later in the relationship) and i dont trust him or his girlfriend 2 care for my child and am affraid of losing her......what would u do in my shoes

Answer 1

i suggest you ask a solicitor and not a load of bored people at work who will only give silly answers, this is the rest of your life you are talking about ...Go Now !!

Answer 2

You should not worry because you have proof that a judge would see who is the responsible party.Who has cared for the child and the fact that he hasn't been around for so long.You should contact a Family law attorney.This would be a good chose first that will set your mind at ease.It is his child however you could suggest supervised visitation would be the best choice for you child since the child has never met or seen her father ever before.If you want her to meet him,she would need to get to know him at your descretion.He figures now that he has to pay he can just come in and fight for her.Believe me and trust no judge is going to take a child from his/her mother especially if you have a caring loving happy stable home.And given his past you have nothing to worry about Everything will be fine friend.

Answer 3

First don't panic sit down and take a deep breath then get some legal advise I believe you are going to need it, do you know for sure if he is on drug's you may need proof of this before you going doing anything about it, I do understand I was in a similar situation when I was very young and I know how you feel, my ex never wanted anything to do with our son until I had to claim for support from the government then they needed all the info and the sh--- t hit the fan and he wanted access too, but the wife who he married year's after me didn't really want to know so made my boy's life a misery so I told him to stick he's money where the sun don't shine and moved got a job and never needed anything from him, I know its harder these day and I do sympathise with you she might just get tired of the attention and they might just go away again let's hope so, but do get some advise you are going to need it good luck and keep your chin up you sound like a good mum and your doing all you can to raise your child well I sure things will work out for the best take care

Answer 4

He cant just show up at your door demanding ANYTHING. If this is a problem for you- judges issue restraining orders every day. And believe me, a judge would just love to hear that this man is wanting access to your child when he has never seen her and the fact that he is/was a meth head, he doesn't stand a snowballs chance in hell. Don't let him bully you around. You have done everything for your child so far without his help, when you were giving birth to your child you needed a hand to hold and where was he? Across country holding hands with another chick and doing drugs. Lose the loser. Your child will thank you later.

Answer 5

I had this issue with my now 10 year old son. I have raised him myself but every couple of years his father would turn up and want access to him. Once I stopped the child support he never showed up again so I never had to let my son see him. He wasn't interested in my son. Only in the money. My lawyer did tell me though that after a certain period of time that he has to fight for visitation because the child would be traumatized by being without you with a stranger and that he would have to go to parenting classes first and then have supervised visitation. Do you really think he would go through all that, I don't think so.

Answer 6

If in fact your ex is taking drugs and associating with the druggy crowd.By no means should you allow him to have your child.Most states in the U.S have child Protection agencies.It shows that your concern is with the child.Only the courts can remove the child from you.If the courts allow him visitation,get a stipulation that your ex only be allowed supervised visitation.These supervised visits are allowed with a court appointed,unbiased agent of the court.This agent then makes reports(about the visitor)and the reports are then sent to the Judge.There are usually fees for this and the fees are usually paid by the visitor.I sincerely hope this helps you.

Answer 7

you need child services fast.... hire an attorney or call united way for help, tell them you think your ex is on drugs (if this is the case) he may eventually try to get visitation and you may want to have them only supervised.....make the court aware that he has not ever seen this child and you are scared of what may happen when he does... don't give up and make every possible effort to talk to the Juvenal court judge through an attny or a social worker

Answer 8

Do you have legal custody of her? If you don't you are taking a risk he can pick her up and take her and you can't do anything. So until you talk to a lawyer and get legal custody , or at least temporary custody of her I wouldn't suggest it. Does he have a criminal record, If he does you can bring that up in court. He be be just trying to scare you to give up your support. Talk to a Lawyer, I don't know how it is where you are but here low income people are eligible for free Legal Aid.

Answer 9

Get a family lawyer right away. The bad news is that he has rights but what those may be in your case is something to be worked out by the courts.

Answer 10

If I were u I would tell him to get a lyfe and that he would never have custody of your child. If he really wanted the child he would have never left you and would never had cheated on you. Also take him to court and get child support money from him.

Answer 11

THIS IS TRICKY. YOU KNOW IT'S HIS I ASSUME? HE DOES HAVE A RIGHT TO THE CHILD UNFORTUNATELY BUT THE THING I WOULD DO IS GET A LAWYER QUICK. YOU'LL NEED ONE TO PROVE HE IS NOT REALLY STABLE. FILE FOR SOLE CUSTODY FIRST AND LET YOUR LAWYER KNOW ALL THE DETAILS. YOU MAY END UP WITH SHARED AND HIM SUPERVISED VISITS AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR JUST THAT. I SUGGEST YOU GET A LAWYER QUICKLY LIKE TODAY.