we are living in a truly unbearable situation{ family of 4} our financial situation is good, we still live at home{with mom & dad} I gave my husband an ultimatum,buy a house or get out. He's had 5 mos. now I've given him 1 more 'til we're done. Was I wrong? I do love him but I feel that he's not handling his responsibility as a provider. Was I too harsh?
2007-02-19 02:20:01 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, you are not wrong if that is what you need in your life.
Up the ante a bit in this last month. Start going out and looking for apartments (either WITH him or without) but make it clear to him that you were not bluffing and that his time line is getting shorter by the day.
At the end of the month Move. If its going to work he will come with you. If not then you will have room to grow and decide what to do about your marriage.\
Good luck to both of you....
.
2007-02-19 02:58:25 · answer #1 · answered by ca_surveyor 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You weren't wrong, but you were...you should never give an ultimatum, because that just pushes them away...you need to talk about it first, and if you have talked, then maybe you and him both want different things and you need to think about that, but you should never give an ultimatum. Why is he the only one who has the responsibility as a provider? And is the reason you can't buy a house cause you don't make enough money? If that's the case, then you can't blame him for not buying a house, and it takes two to make a marriage work, if you really want a house then you two need to work together, both get second jobs and work your butts off until you have the money, don't put it all on him.
2007-02-19 02:28:46 · answer #2 · answered by Hayden's Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave him an ultimatum to buy his family a house or you will divorce him.
You sound like a real sweetheart. You have a problem here - you are CLEARLY the boss in your family (at least you think you should be) but you don't take charge. How do you get around that little problem?
If you are going to take charge like this then take charge - YOU buy your family a house. Then YOU take responsibility for how it turns out. I probably scared you off there.
Are you sure your finances are as secure as you think they are? Maybe he's just young and a little scared?
I think you are wrong. I think you need your own place, yes, but you cannot hold him up as the one responsible for everything yet simultaneously call the shots - it doesn't work that way.
2007-02-19 02:31:03 · answer #3 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you should be out working and building up some money to put down on a house...it's VERY difficult nowadays for many families to make ends meet without both parents working (at jobs that pay above min wage).
If you are going to give an ultimatum, make sure you are doing all that you can do to reach the desired goal as well. You and your husband are a team, and should work as one to provide together for y'alls family.
Good luck!
2007-02-19 02:28:58 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I take it you're living with his parents. Well, it's time to get your own place -- your family is scrunched in a house with another family - not right. Your hubby needs to get himself in gear and find you guys a nice place to live -- immediately.
2007-02-19 02:26:37 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you gave him another month, gurl, stick to ur guns. if he has not done anything by then, he aint gunna do anything. kick his azz out to the curb.
2007-02-19 02:26:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is in a comfort zone, and maybe thinking , why should I, we have it made..??? Good Luck,,??
2007-02-19 02:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋