Caught hubby cheating on tape ?

Question

Okay my hubby and i have been married 2 yrs and have a 1.5 yr old daughter.My husband and i have defentiantly have had our problems.I even considered divorce 3 times already(no he did not know) but recently i changed my mind just before handing him the divorce papers because he did something nice for me like he used to while we were dating.So i thought maybe we could solve our problems and stop the never ending fight. I was trying to find a show that i had taped a while back on design that i thought would help me on some ideas with a client(i do interior design).What i found was a tape of my husband cheating on me in our living room it was recent because the leather chair in the backround i bought for him recently as a gift.I feel so hurt and heart broken but cant bring myself to confront my hubby?

It makes me sick to see him acting completley normal why cant i just confront him?

I dont understand how he could do this to me no matter how bad things got i never cheated on him?

Answer 1

Wow. I'm so sorry!

But you don't need to confront him. Really, what's he going to say. You have it on tape! Just take the tape and go straight back to your divorce lawyer. Hand him the papers, and leave. No need for words at all if you don't want them.

Answer 2

SO what is your question.

Pull those divorce papers back out because you probably won't be able to be civil much longer. It is important for you to tell him what you saw and that what you feel. If you think things will get better your probably wrong. He probably feels your relationship is just about over. Don't disregard the nice things he has done, but create a list of the good and the bad and see which one weighs more. It's really important for you to decide if you can deal with this any longer and then take appropriate measures. This relationship seems to be already over and the best thing you can do is to take the video tape, make a copy and put them on every t.v. in the house. Play them all when he comes home and have his or your bags by the door. It's a matter of your own sanity. Now its time to focus on you and your child.

Good luck.

Answer 3

well the first thing to do is sneek that tape out of the house and get a copy made then return the first one to its original spot and keep the second one somewhere other then your home.
you and him should talk to each other. you write he didnt know you were near to divorce 3 times in the past . that is not good.
something as big as that is going on and you two are not talking
about it that just wont work.
i am sure some will say leave the bum . we dont however know enough about your situation to say that . i suggest that first you talk to him about this . i suggest that you might want to send the child to stay overnight someplace granny's house or someplace.
if you both can stay calm not scream and call each other names then your talk might be enough to start the repair work. then if you continue to talk calmly you may find that a pattern developed in your relationship that caused you both to have troubles. this is not at all uncommon. a simple pattern of relating to the other person forms without your full knowledge. sometimes this happens during a fight. other times an illness . really lots of times it can start but it can be changed.
should the two of you alone not fix this then see about some conselling if after that you still have no improvment you have this tape stored at another house somewhere and that will be of use to you . who knows maybe just talking about sex will be enough does stuff go on on the tape that is different then what you two do . think about that. explore every possible means of making this work and then you can at least tell your girl one day that you both really did everything you could to make it work .
good luck to you and i sure hope you both can get this marriage working better soon

Answer 4

Why can't you confront him? It would seem to me to be pretty easy when you couldn't possibly have better evidence. If it were me and i found that tape, i'd have somebody watch my kid, make dinner then sit down with him like were gonna watch a favorite movie and then pop the tape in and enjoy watching him turn white or green or whatever!
Unless, of course, if he wanted you to find the tape in the first place. Which is totally possible if it wasn't hidden very well. Think about it, if he was gonna tape himself cheating why would he leave it where it was easy for you to find? Maybe he wants out of the marriage too and was hoping this would force you to divorce him.

Whatever happens, good luck

Answer 5

oh my, I am so sorry to hear that.

No matter how hard it is , he can't get away with what he did.

There are two ways to break it to him:
1) Approach him and confront him about the tape.

or

2) Wait, cook him a nice dinner, make a picnic on the livingroom floor and light some candle then tell him you are going to set the mood right by putting on some new porn or some music, put on the tape and let him feel it, he will be embarrassed and sorry but it will be to late. After that tell him it is over.

Good Luck

Answer 6

I would go back to that divorce lawyer then show him the tape. this is probably not the first time he has cheated. I don't know how the relationship has been but you need to let your daughter know that there healthy relationships and that you do not have to let anyone disrespect you, or that you have to take any what ever is dished out to you. I think you need to concentrate on taking care of her and showing her what a strong women you are with or without a man in your life.

Answer 7

just because we were loyal, and never betrayed them, means nothing to some. unfortunately the only way your going to be able to make a decision is to confront him. can't run away from it, no matter what the outcome is. we have to face our fears in life, and get out of denial, u have the proof, only u can decide what it is u want to do. first u need to confront, as u did nothing to deserve this, problems in a marriage does not give the other a real reason to cheat. he did u wrong, u have every right to confront him, and see where his heart is at, if it's with her, u have no marriage anyway. yes u will be brokenhearted, he betrayed u and its really something u were not expecting from a person u loved, and u thought loved u.

Answer 8

"(no he did not know)"

"cant bring myself to confront my hubby"

Sounds like your real issue is communication. I find it strange that you are willing to share intimate details to strangers, but you won't share them with your husband... why is that? Do you not like confrontation? (that's understandable)

Obviously, this is just an opinion, feel free to trow it out the window.

First thing you need to do is sit down and write out exactly what you want to say to him. Make it as angry as you like... really let it all out on paper. Say every mean nasty thing on that piece of paper. so, now you know how you feel.

Next, sit him down and CALMLY explain what you found. Your goal here is figure out where he's coming from and what he's feeling. Ask him if he loves her, was it a one time thing. Ask him how he feels about your relationship, if he wants to work it out, etc etc etc.

If he thinks it's best you divorce, then you don't really have any options. That's what's best for you.

If he wants to work on it. Tell him NICELY AND CALMLY how you've felt (it may be helpful to rewrite what's on that piece of paper and omit the nasty stuff). Sit and talk and LISTEN to each other. Hug, Kiss, Have Sex and then in the morning, seek a marriage counselor.

Marriage counseling will help you both over come your communication issues.

Make sure to issue one ultimatum, though. If he cheats again, you're out!

Good luck to both of you.

Answer 9

the place there is smoke there is fireplace. do no longer difficulty approximately whether he's cheating or no longer cheating and with whom. difficulty approximately what you will tolerate and what you like from him on your marriage and negotiate that. tell him to no longer difficulty coming living house until eventually he's in a position to artwork with you to make it one. Ask your husband if he needs to be married or no longer and tell him he's loose to bypass if he does not. If he plans to stay married, then he needs to get in the pastime and make his family contributors a concern. He won't be in a position to have the two. Ask him to chosen and enable him comprehend you at the instant are not keen to stay the way you reside. i assume you're able to bypass to the countless "the thank you to seize a cheating better half" websites (there are a number of) and purchase some secret agent ware and insect his automobile or clothing, yet in actual actuality that there are sufficient warning bells going off to show you how to already know there's a actual situation, whether it incredibly is a woman or the marriage or the two. you at the instant are not pathetic by any potential. you in basic terms could comprehend the place you stand so which you will plan your existence with our devoid of him. He needs to the two get in the marriage or get out. See a counselor. whether he's cheating or no longer cheating, is time for you 2 to sit down down and agree on the thank you to run your existence so as that your needs are met in this marriage. you do no longer deserve this.

Answer 10

First of all. Leave him. You have given chances beyond chances. I imagine hundreds. The hurting needs to stop. Either he stops or you leave. Things like these can make your heart cold and stone hard. Do not suffer it any longer. I have learned one thing. Do not stay together so you wont be alone, Do not stay together because of the child. It is not right to you and it would not be to him if it were on the both of you. Make your decision and stand firm with it. Do not be afraid. If you have to have a cop with you to kick him out. If you are not giving him that chance. Give him that choice. Stop cheating or leave. I gave you to many chances. that is what you should say. Do not let men destroy your heterosexual ways. Do not. Men are not worth it.