are parents supposed to guide and advise their kids in the choice of a marriage patner?

Question

when choosing a marriage parter, what are the roles of parents? are they supposed to advise and guide or just be totally out of the picture?

Answer 1

Depends what country/value system you are from. It seems the standard here would be that parents raise their kids the best they can and hope they make good decisions in life, including who they would like to spend it with.

Answer 2

A good parent will guide you until you are no longer under their charge. Love is blind sometimes and it may be a good thing to have a parent that can SEE what you are not able to see. If a parent shares a feeling, as a Friend at this point in your life, it is only because they care about your future as always. Ultimately the choice is yours.

If an inheritance is involved, and they don't like your choice, you won't lose your parent, but you may lose the inheritance.

A good parent will always be there for you, even when you choose a jerk, have 3 kids and have no where to live when the person runs out on you.

Answer 3

To me a parents role in guiding and advising a child about a marriage partner is when the child is young, before that child is even interested in marriage, or the opposite sex. Their role is to guide the child by the example they show of their own marriage. It should be showing love, devotion, fidelity, communication, etc. All the things that make a marriage work, and last. Their role then is to teach sexual, and moral ethics to the child, so he has a clue what to look for when the time comes. As for a particular individual partner, no that has to be up to the child when the time comes. But by then the parents work should already be done.

Answer 4

I think parents should be happy, if their child is happy. Parents have no set role. They are to accept it, and make sure that their child's dream comes true. If it doesn't work out, the child will learn from his/her own mistakes. You should just be there for you child if this ever happens. I hate it when parents expect their children to marry someone of the same religion, or ethinicity, or the same ancestory. You can't help who you fall in love with. If you really can't stand the person your child chooses, talk to them about it. Maybe they will listen, or maybe they won't. It's the child's decision, not the parents.

Answer 5

As long as the childeren are grown and of age, all a parent can do is be supportive of their children. They need to trust that they did their part and raised a adult who can make good decisions for themselves. They should only advise or guide their children if asked to by the said child or if they see something glaringly destructive about their child's relationship. Trying to control or manipulate a grown child's choice of partner can be damaging to the parent/child relationship.

Answer 6

I think that parents should let their kids choose. They will always make their opinions, because they want their kids to be happy. If it were my child and I knew they were making a mistake I would definitely try to help them see the real picture. But in the end the kids have to live and learn.

Answer 7

It's up the person wanting to get married to choose a partner they feel is appropriate for them...if they would like their parent's input then they should ask and the parents should give it, but I don't think the parents should attempt to control the situation or disallow their child from marrying (assuming the "child" is a legal adult).

Answer 8

I seriously believe they should have a strong role - did so before I got married - the first person I wanted to marry, I was totally into it but my parents told me that the girl was no good - didnt take their opinions seriously and i got burned for it - later the next person, I wanted to marry, asked my parents advice and they were into it, and thank God, we have been married 7 years and still act like newlyweds...

Answer 9

I think everyone is different .. Me and my parents have a very close relationship so there advise would weigh heavy on my decision to marry an individual or not ..

Answer 10

If I had listened to My Folks advice/ I wouldn't gotten involved with the Skank that I ended up Marrying. Yes! Listen to `em. They know, more about Life, than you do. Their Love is much more powerful than a Partner's ever will be.