help me to get my daughter to sleep?

Question

my daughter is one and refuses point blank to go to bed awake sometimes im up till 11-12 with her she is tired but wont go in her cot awake then she cries most the night while sleeping then gets up about 7 full of beans she has 2 half hour naps during the day any suggestions welcome

Answer 1

I had this problem with my oldest child. She was very active and slept a TOTAL of 8 hours out of every 24, including naps. I would try to get her to sleep before putting her into bed. By the time she was 15 months old, I realized an exhausted mommy was doing her no good, and something had to change. I saw a 20-20 special on this very subject, and decided to try what the "experts" recommended. I put her in the bed awake. Of course, she started crying. I kissed her and assured her I would be nearby, and left the room. I let her cry for 5 long, excruciating minutes, then went back into the room and reassured her, but DID NOT PICK HER UP. Next I waited 10 minutes, then 15. I never left her alone more than 15 minutes. The first night, this went on all night until she finally fell asleep sometime that morning. The second night it lasted 2 hours. The third night, after only 15 minutes, she went to sleep, slept all night, and continued to do so from then on. It was so worth it! I got more rest, and she was a happier little girl too. In this case, the "experts" were right!

Answer 2

I have two kids. 2 1/2 (Bea) and 4 1/2 (Gaby). When Gaby was a baby she would almost never go to sleep. She was active in the daytime, did not really nap in the afternoon. She was pretty much awake 20 hours out of the day. At around 13 months I let her cry for 2 hours every night (3-4 nights). After that she started to go to bed and to actually sleep. I figured that since kids are supposed to be different Bea would be easy. She was not. She was exactly like her sister : always Hungry and rarely sleeping. The ped. told me that some kids just don't require that much sleep. Needless to say I have been lacking sleep for years now. Recently it has been better but now I am dealing with night terrors and nightmares (fear of the dark, moving things in the room). I guess my advise to you would be to try to get her outside as much as you can during daytime (unless you are in Canada like me and it is -20 like today!). I have tried everything : stories, walks, longs baths. Nothing really works. In my case I just accepted it and learned to try to live with the lack of sleep.

Answer 3

This age is just great, they defo test the boundaries and it sounds like your little one is trying it on. She must be tired as she is so young so i think it will just have to be a battle of wills.

Have you tried putting her in her cot and staying in the room with her and reading a book to yourself or something. It will be horrible to hear her crying but it may settle her to know that you are there, don't talk to her or make any fuss, or make any eye contact, just be in the room so she can see you! After a little while when she realizes that no matter how much she crys that your not going to pick her up she will go off to sleep. Eventually as the days go on edge closer to the door, then maybe stand in the door way, then leaving the door open she will get there eventually but you will have to be strong!!

All the best!!

Answer 4

We had this problem with our daughter who is now 2 and a half. In the end we kept putting her down at night when she was already asleep, but she was held in her bedroom. Once she moved into a big girls bed at 18 mos she was so excited she wanted to be in it and we made a big deal. She's now in a proper bed and each night she goes to bed, has a story and is left to sleep on her own. When she first went in her cot bed however she had company in the room until she dozed off, holding her hand or reading to her, the nice thing being that we told her if we got on the cot bed with her it would break because its not meant for mummy/daddy!

I'm not saying give in but give it a bit longer and see how she gets on in a month or so. For now try and get you both a good nights sleep!

Answer 5

Cut out the naps. If she is not wanting to sleep at night then she is probably getting too much sleep. If she wears herself out then she will have no choice but to sleep. If you stop letting her nap then she will probably sleep better at night and sleep longer. And make sure she has nothing else to do in her bed other than sleep. No TV to watch or games to play, etc. Also, be firm about the rules. Let her know that she has to sleep at night. Tell her that all the animals sleep at night; the birds, dogs, cats, horses, cows, etc. That is just when we are supposed to sleep. Get her in a good bedtime routine. My sons get their baths at 7:30 and get their pajamas on at 8:00 and get bedtime stories after that and are in the bed at 8:30. Consistancy is the key. If it continues call your daughters doctor. Sleep deprivation can be a medical problem, but with most children it is not. They just don't like to go to sleep. I guess they are afraid they will miss something if they sleep.

Good luck sweety.

Answer 6

We had the same problem with my son. It was our fault because we would always rock him to sleep in our arms and then put him in his crib (right from birth). At 1 1/2 years old, he was still into this habit and was now getting into a habit of waking up during the night. We would stay up with him for another 2 hours trying to get him to sleep again. We finally realized that we had to get him out of this habit because none of us were sleeping properly and we were all just cranky and miserable. So, we started putting him into his crib awake. I'll be honest, the first couple of days were hard. He would scream and cry, but we refused to take him out of his crib. We would stand in the room but not make eye contact with him. After a few days, he was beginning to cry less and less, and was now beginning to fall asleep on his own. After a couple of weeks, he would not cry when we put him down, and he began to sleep right through the night. He is now 2 1/2 years old, and it is just a breeze putting him down for the night.

Good luck!

Answer 7

My son is 6 & we had the same problem & still do i am still awake with him at 1am & he has to get up for school & he manages it, the problem is if you dont deal with this now you will end up in my situation & believe me its not nice, he falls to sleep down stairs & get carried up to bed when i go up & he sleeps with my husband & me, i wish i had done more when he was smaller but after trying so many different things i gave up it seemed easier to, im afraid the advice given by health officials is put the child in the cot & let him/her cry & the child will give in, but i found this so hard it broke my heart, but one thing i remember my Gp saying was "No child has ever died from crying" Goodluck

Answer 8

Hi I can really relate to how your feeling. I have two sons aged 9 and 5. My eldest slept 12 hours everynight from being 4 weeks old, didn't then realise how lucky I were until I had my second son. He has bad asthma and eczema and his medication makes him hyper. At 12 months of age he would go bed at same time everynight but gurantee he'd be back up again before midnight then I'd get him back in bed after half hour or so for him to wake again about 4am and the I'd have to let him get in bed with me to get him sleep till 6.30am when he would be up full of life. It eventually caused tension between me and my husband as we weren't getting a decent nights sleep squashed up in bed it affected us all so much after anther year of it our marriage broke down. We did manage to save our marriage eventually.
Its true what others say you do have to tone down all lights and do so around the sametime everyday, even the volume on the tv if your watching tv if not turn it off. Put all toys away and don't let them get any of them out again I kept with the rule that after 6.30-7pm he'd be getting in bath and after bathtime there were only books that were allowed out, there were also no running around or leaving him to walkabout I would stop my chores so I would be sat down with him. All this does have an affect but keeping him in bed were another problem. Has your daughter suffered ear infections before? My son had a few times.
I read something in a book about how to solve your childs sleep problems and it mentioned something about your middle ear. I read more and more into it and discovered that all the signs and symptons they described to do with the middle ear my son had. It took a couple of visits to the doctors and two different opinions but eventually after stressin how bad his sleeping were they sent him to have grommits in his ear. Its only a day job procedure but once done he hasn't suffered ear infections only once which weren't that bad and it made a little difference in his sleep. So if your daughter has had similiar problems you could try that.
If not then it may sound stupid but what I'm going to say now had a big impact on my son and it was only when he had the treatment twice and then regular he actually started to sleep through at the age of 2 until he never needed the treatment anymore and still managed to stay in bed. He started to have an Indian Head Massage regular. Obviously by a professional and the treatment session would last anything from 10 minutes to half hour but it worked.
Good luck and believe me it really does eventually get sorted it will just happen all at once and you'll not even realise it right away.

Answer 9

Hi, my son is 11 months and he slept on his own from 4 months no problem, until he had a sickness bug and came in bed with us, which was fine but then i couldnt get him back in his cot. He used 2 sob when i tried, and i couldnt bare 2 see him so upset, so i ended up putting him in bed with us. Until 2 days ago, He has a bath at 7.30, gets ready 4 bed and has most of his milk while having a cuddle and i wind him (so he dosent get tummy ache). At 8pm i put him in his cot with nursery rhyme music playing, and the rest of his bottle, within 10 mins he is asleep.
And it is heaven.
Goodluck xx

Answer 10

I agree totally with the people suggesting the controlled crying method, we were happy to be child led for first few months of life but i think when they turn 1 its a good time to give them some independance and teach them how to fall asleep by themselves. buy 'Toddler Taming' by Dr Christopher Green, it is featured in there and completely changed our life - we all are so much happier sleeping a whole night through! and 3 nights of hell are worth it for the happy sleeping child that comes out of it. Plus its a great book for all other toddler related problems! Good Luck!