spent last night with him and he seems really distant iv not said much to him as i dont want to upset him i have just spoke to a mutual freind of ours and he has been talking to her about his mom and he got really upset yet he shows little emotion towards me he has told my freind i stayed with him last night but he dont now what to say to me i want to be there for him but i want to give him space to deal with things conserning his mom what should i do?
2007-02-19 01:06:49 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sometimes you just have to follow your true heart. Ask him either every other day or every day if there is something you can do for him. If he repeatedly waves you aside, then stay there, but keep trying at least once a week. while in the grieving process, or even pre-grieving, each person processes their feelings differently. does your b/f's mom have a house or apartment? just tell your b/f you'd like to do some cleaning and prep for his mom's return home. if she's a resident in a hospital or some other nursing facility, pop in on her without your b/f. bring her some flowers and a card, stuff like that. your b/f will eventually learn that he can trust you and that your feelings are true, that you love him and will be there for him no matter what. don't even bring up the subject of his talking to someone else about his feelings. he needs to see you establish a foundation for your relationship, and there is no better way than to just commit yourself to the concern you have for his mom. concern only comes into play when you have genuine feelings about that person. i gotta warn you though, if this is just about your jealousy, your resentment that he won't talk to you about this major issue in his life, then you need to step back and see the whole picture for what it is. if you really do love him, then you'll be okay. love is only valuable when it's real. if you don't really love him, then just step back and let his family deal with everything they need to deal with. by just pushing your way in to win the affections of your b/f, it'll be obvious not only to his family, but especially to him. hope this helped you!
2007-02-19 01:17:10 · answer #1 · answered by vrandolph62 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
unfortuantly there is not much that u can do other than what u have stated above. U can just be there for him and hold him through the pain. Tell Him to come to you and to remember that you are his life partner and that together u can pull through it all. I remember whne my father died very suddenly ... i had become numb to the world for a while, even to my boyfreind at the time. So its normal, but i wish i hadnt been that way. Want a good read for a situation like this... "For one more day" mitch albom
2007-02-19 01:12:34 · answer #2 · answered by Mapitsa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know that you are there for him no matter what. He is probably quiet around you because he feels comfortable in your company. Give him hugs and reassure him that you love him.
It's a tough time for him, so don't expect him to even think about your feelings at the moment (not nastily, he's just got too much on his mind). Good luck and stay positive...
2007-02-19 01:12:52 · answer #3 · answered by PrettyKitty 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is having a difficult time dealing with the situation and doesn't know how you will react to seeing him with a weakness. Sit down with him and tell him you are there for him. Offer to be there anytime he needs to talk about anything without be judgmental. You could even offer to help him with taking care of his mother, if he would like. It would build a bond between you three that is nearly unbreakable.
2007-02-19 01:14:56 · answer #4 · answered by fly guy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes silence can be better than saying something.
He may be afraid of getting upset in front of you or he may be worried it will upset you.
Either way you sound like you are concerned and want to support him.
Tell him you care and that you are not sure what to say but that you are there for him no matter what.
2007-02-19 01:26:53 · answer #5 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a big hug and tell him that you will be there for him and that if he needs to talk you will listen.
open the flood gates and let it ride.
Do you get on with his Mum? maybe he feels that if he lets go he will upset you too, or that maybe you dont care.
be more approachable tell him you want to help, he may feel you are closed to it all
2007-02-19 01:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by sylvie c 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you can do about it now, but eventually, you are both going to have to look at why he doesn't feel like he can share these things with you. You don't say if the friend has known him longer etc... so I can't be sure, but if you are supposed to be in a serious relationship, you'd hope he could share with you.
2007-02-19 01:13:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The odd period within your textual communication would probably allow room to breathe for everyone and give them some space to sort out their own heads. I think the best thing you could do is enrol at college and learn to write. Then you could write beautiful poetry and express your love and concern in an affectionate, educated and intelligent way and be of more use to your boyfriend.
2007-02-19 01:16:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just be there for him. Some men find it easier to talk about their emotional problems with people they are not emotionally involved with. He may not want to appear weak in front of you. Silly, I know, but it happens. Be prepared to listen when he does talk. He'll do it in his own time. He probably wont admit it but he will appreciate you being there for him.
2007-02-19 01:13:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just reassure him that you are there for him no matter what. Dont push him to talk to you, he will in his own time. Give him plenty of hugs and love. Sometimes people feel that they can talk to others that aren't that close to him like you are. Give him space but most importantly, be there for him
2007-02-19 01:10:18 · answer #10 · answered by sugarplum9903 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋