Recently, I was talking with this guy that my girlfriend hooked me up with because my marriage was ending. Smart guy and attractive. This guy was trying to see me for a week and we finally planned a date. The first time he was to meet me at my friends house, he was a no show, he called me in the morning, second time he was a no show and he didn't call. When I spoke to him he was being too sexual towards me already and I explained we should be friends for now, he was like okay cool. Then he stop returning my phone calls, and my friend called him to asked him what the hell happened and he told her that he was uncomfortable with my living situation. I personally think he didn't want to talk to me because he wanted some @#$. I wasn't putting myself out there like that. So, I am just wondering is this the trend with men in general, do you have to give them some butty in order for them to take you seriously or is this guy immature. As a note, I haven't dated in 10 years.
2007-02-19 00:51:26 · 12 answers · asked by VON 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You shouldn't be dating until your divorce is final. That's not cool.
2007-02-19 00:54:51 · answer #1 · answered by jacksfullhouse 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Actually, the red flags were flying after the first no show. After the second, I wouldn't have taken his call, and I would've told my girlfriend to tell him to stop bothering me.
Why would you call a guy who treated you like that? Not all men are like this, I'm sure that there are some nice men waiting to meet you.
It is entirely possible that some men would prefer that your divorce is final before they begin dating.
It is also entirely true that some guys don't care what your marital status is as long as you're putting out.
The fact is, nothing has changed since you last dated. If you make them respect you, they will. If all they want is a piece of ***, who needs them anyway?
No man should expect sex any sooner than you are willing and ready to take the relationship to that level. Be careful out there, plenty of men willing to take advantage, and whether you think so or not, in your situation, you are vulnerable to all of them.
Good luck.
2007-02-19 01:00:31 · answer #2 · answered by Firespider 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men are bold these days and will try to come after you for sex unless you make it clear that that isn't what you are looking for. Not all men are like that but it seems that the Internet has given men the feeling that it is OK to treat all women they meet like common street walkers........ Just put your guard up be real and be clear about your expectations. If a man opens up with whats the freakiest thing you have ever done? Let him know that you don't appreciate that and move on. Good luck and stand your ground you will find a decent man.
2007-02-19 02:07:33 · answer #3 · answered by smoothazhoney 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, when he cancelled on you the second time, that meant
he either is currently in a relationship with someone and he had to go see her or he was about to get some and he wasn't sure that he could get it from you. He made a decision to go where he knew he could score. There is nothing wrong with you, he is a jerk. If you want to be in a relationship, stop looking for one. You are right by wanting to be friends with someone first. There are alot of bad guys out there but there are good guys too!!
2007-02-19 01:00:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that toooo many times, so don't push the issue. It's like a conquest of the bed for him, and a conquest of a committment for you. Not a good combo. Case in point, seperated for 6 months, during this time became a friend with a guy, got along great, had common interests, common ideas, common habits. Great friends! Lead to the inevitable, I got hooked, he went back to his ex! Now, we are still semi friends but not like before. When I think about it, he was just really patient when it came to playing the sexual conquest game. I feel like an idiot still! Friends don't sleep with friends unless they want to get attached and get their hearts broken. That's what I say!
2007-02-19 00:59:24 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably figured that, since you were used to having sex (being married), you would be an easy target. The game has changed a lot in ten years. The younger girls do just about everything and anything without blinking--so if you don't put out immediately, the guys go to the path of least resistance. Good luck.
2007-02-19 04:43:16 · answer #6 · answered by HeIsMyAllinAll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-16 00:15:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reasons he is so distant towards you, really doesn't matter, does it? Just the fact that there are some "red flags", should be enough to notice that he might not be that into you. There are many other fish in the sea, and honest ones too!
2007-02-19 01:04:21 · answer #8 · answered by altes_jan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok look lots of guys really want a relationship.
some guys are playas and want to have relationships with several women.
then of course theirs that type of guy who just wants a fuckbuddy.
and last but not least the guy looking for a one knight stand.
you cant just put all guys into one group. you just have to figure out which group a guy is in before you go through with anything.
there are great guys out there it just takes time to find them.
2007-02-19 01:02:30 · answer #9 · answered by young one 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes probably not comfortable with your situation and doesn't want to get involved with you brake up.. now a days its not unusual to have sex on the first date.. things have changed a lot in ten years..and do you have children ? that would make a big difference...
2007-02-19 01:01:13 · answer #10 · answered by ralphtheartist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋