I've met my boyfriend in France (he's from Melbourne) in September 2005, we've lived together for 6 months there, then he had to go back to Melbourne but we were very much in love and we decided to continue our relationship.
11 months of Skype calls, letters and e-mails and everything was great.
Then as soon as I arrived, three weeks ago, he has started acting in a strange way, looking very far, trying to avoid too much intimacy (even if he tried to deny it).
Last week he left me, saying "I'm not ready for such a commitment". What does it mean?
After 11 months of long distance relationship he said he's never really thought about what was going to happen. But I'm here now. And I've NEVER asked for anything, never spoken about marriage ect.
I've done so many sacrifices to be able to come here and live here for a year, and now that I'm here I don't have a place to stay, and I don't know anyone but my ex boyfriend's friends, which is not so cool.
I'd like to understand..
2007-02-19 00:44:34 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
when you stepped into his life, his house, his friends lives it made a ripple effect and maybe he got overwhelmed by the change in something that youve never been apart of. its sad but, maybe he changed his mind when he saw "his" world change.
2007-02-26 07:23:01 · answer #1 · answered by know_moore 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one because it happens alot when the distance is finally closed. Even though you did see each other for 6 months, 6 months probablywasn't enough to reveal each other's really deep, casual selves. (or usually it doesn't)
It's a big deal, when you think about it. It's going from never seeing someone but basically having a fragment of them (words on a screen, voice on a phone, picture in your hands) and then having the real experience. It's a real breathing person with feelings, and thoughts and they're not just visiting, they're always going to be there. Some peope adjust very well and happily to it and others don't adjust well at all.
It looks like he took the extreme end of not adjusting. This may in fact be a very temporary thing, and in that case you two can learn to be with each other and love each other by finding all the common threads between what you shared over a distance and what you share together. Or it could be permanent, in which case I think it's a real shame that something could go so badly for you like that. In both cases, just know that you did alot for someone, even if they didn't take it well, and that if things are meant to work out, they will.
Good luck!
2007-02-22 15:41:40 · answer #2 · answered by Chicken Little 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made all the efforts and all the sacrifices to be with this man. This is painful for many reasons,he just acted differently in France. People get caught up in the fantasy of a new and exciting place or it could be the fact that you guys were both swept away by what you felt was love. He got back home made a so so effort to stay connected to you, but, maybe the flicker of your love blew out. Most long distance relationships don't work for the simple reason that being there in the physical sense is a very vital part of a relationship. You need to think about making too many sacrifices, people that make you do all the work are cheating you out of security and happiness. Go home and lick your wounds. He has broken your heart, this he cannot make up. Besides, you need a man who will meet you half way, no matter what the situation is. He is not worth staying. true love does exist, but, maybe yours isn't in Australia. Maybe, yours around the corner from your true home. I wish you much luck and happiness!
2007-02-26 15:19:44 · answer #3 · answered by ratfart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He came right out and said he's not ready for commitment. Girls always try to straddle the fence with a relationship. They live with a guy so they can say they're not tying him down. They say they're not asking for marriage but in fact, living together is playing house, playing at marriage.
Living together is such a bad idea for both parties! You made a mistake, now don't move in with someone unless it's a true roommate situation, where you share rent and the apartment is shared equally. Get out and date, have a good time and pull your life back in line and forget about this guy. He really is not ready for commitment and so move on.
Next time you think someone is headed for commitment for you, check to see if there is an engagement ring involved.
Right now, find a job or go back to Europe. Make a new life. Chalk this up to experience.
2007-02-26 18:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is scared and he's not ready for commitment .. if i were him i would rather think how much you have sacrificed and how I'm 'obliged' to love you and stuff like that. if you can make him feel 'free' again probably he would change to better. but don't quote me on this cause i live on the other side of Australia and don't know many Italians.
2007-02-24 06:39:30 · answer #5 · answered by Di Snow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it could be the long distance relationship of 11 months that changed his feelings towards you. I guess most guys would be like that. Don't take it too hard. Just live your life to the fullest. You are still so young. Cheers girl.
2007-02-26 19:51:25 · answer #6 · answered by happy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were a summer (or winter, I guess) fling - a precious fantasy he kept alive through phone calls and letters. When confronted with the reality of a real relationship somewhere more prosaic, he freaked and backed out. I'm sorry this happened to you.
2007-02-19 00:53:00 · answer #7 · answered by Bethany 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does she swallow usually. Later in life can she cook dinner or carry down a activity. Later nevertheless will she draw my social protection on a similar time as Im on the bar, then finally will she bypass to me in wellness midsection or push my wheelchair.
2016-10-02 09:24:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋