he is driving me nuts i m really tired of the situation i think people should be abl to talk about their difeerence and work someting out and compromise and taking to him its like taking to a big wall , is like the words pass one ear to another and nothing gets on his head. Im tired of heriang him say im going to change and months pass by and nothing happend. please help me how can i teach him to compromise in a relationship and if not work should i leave him?
2007-02-19 00:25:37 · 7 answers · asked by user 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
actions define priorities. your husband needs to step up and practice what he preaches. that's only half of it. a marriage requires team effort. i get the impression that you're more bark than bite with him. obviously this has been an ongoing issue but as soon as he says he'll change, you stop short in your effort over and over again. the best thing for you guys is counseling but if you feel that's a little extreme still, there are things you can do. first you have to deal with the lack to communication. a good way to get everything out in the open is for both of you to write each other a couple of letters. the first letter should be a clear letter of how you see the marriage and why the marriage is in trouble. don't write it with any malice or hate. the letter is meant for the person that you fell deeply in love with at the beginning of the relationship. the second letter should be a role reversal letter. write it like you were your husband and the letter should be an honest description of how you see how he is in your eyes. you guys have to remember why you both fell in love and you guys also need to come face to face with the people you've become. this worked with my wife and i when we had issues. FYI, you should do the role reversal letter first! sorry and good luck!
2007-02-19 00:58:31 · answer #1 · answered by WreckinShop 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through many a session with women who say these exact things about their husbands. Trouble is it's usually the woman/wife that needs to compromise or make changes in their ownself.
I would think by what you have described here is simply that you attack him and point to his imperfections that don't suit you and thus he's turning a deaf ear to all you have to say.
He won't listen until you start to show some form of compromise that will show that you don't want it all your way. You married this man for who and what he is, if you married him thinking you were going to train or change him, then it was your own selfish desires that you were thinking of.
No spouse should have to put up with the other spouse telling them they should change this or that just to suit the other person.
2007-02-19 01:14:49 · answer #2 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how long you've been married...or if you have any children.
But don't run out the door because things aren't going as you hoped. Comprimise goes both ways. Sometimes, just accepting someone and easing up can make a world of difference. I've found out with my husband, that if I back off and really just say to myself...I love him..so leave him be. In time, he'll make those changes mostly because he's no longer feeling like he's being pushed.
You can't make someone change, it has to come from a sincere deisire to do so. He may be giving you lip service to get you off his back. So try that...leave him alone...let him work it out.
Good luck...marriage is a committment..for better or for worse. If you can make it...it's worth it in the long run.
2007-02-19 00:35:03 · answer #3 · answered by Misty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some hobbies and distance yourself from the brick. Some guys really need a four alarm wake up call and it is your job to give it, not by making demands, but by moving on, if not out of the house at least moving on with your life. Go work out, tan, get a bikini wax and don't get close to him at all. He just might start listening.
2007-02-19 00:31:30 · answer #4 · answered by findingselflove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you attack him in conversation. All that's going to do is put him on defense, and he's not going to care what you have to say. Just way most men work.
2007-02-19 00:31:12 · answer #5 · answered by No I Dont Like You 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not in him to compromise and it probably never was. He is an adult and you just cannot make someone change their personalities. Behaviors yes....personalitites NO!
2007-02-19 00:36:51 · answer #6 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actions speak louder than words at times ............
2007-02-19 00:38:54 · answer #7 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋