her husband keep saying that he will kill her. he doesn't want her to go out, talk on the phone, switch on the fan,watch tv, leave the lights on till late. i don't really know what to tell my friend to do.
they have been married foe nearly 30 years.her husband has started taking lots of alcohol. my friend is really anxious. he might really kill her by the way he is behaving. please help me advise my friend
2007-02-19 00:24:12 · 20 answers · asked by havillah k 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she really needs to get away from this situation. if she goes to the social services in her area then they will help her. they can sort a refuge for her in another part of the country so she doesn't have to have any contact with him. if she doesn't want to go along that path then she must find out what the cause of his threats are. i don't believe he is saying this just because of the alcohol. alcohol tends to bring things to the surface that the drinker has been thinking about. maybe someone has been telling him stories or he might be ill or under pressure at work. perhaps he would agree to counselling. either way she needs to remove herself from a potentially dangerous situation.
2007-02-19 00:44:16 · answer #1 · answered by val f1 nutter 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go to her house together,take some other friends as well,safety in numbers,pack up some of her essentials,but what ever else you do,convince her to leave him,she doesnt deserve this rubbish off him and neither do you.You sound like a good friend,im sure youll do the right thing by her.
2007-02-19 00:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems she still loves him and she hasn't left him yet because she thinks it would be better if she stays, that way she can look after him. But with Alcoholics they don't think that they have a problem unless they admit it them self's. You need to explain it to her that she need time away from him for her self and to show that there is a problem to she partner. It will be hard but if is a got man, he will soon realise that he needs help and that when he is ready for help that she will help him though it. If not she's better off without him.
2007-02-22 23:51:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to speak to a women's refuge society for advice, he's probably worn her down until she thinks she has no options, that's what controlling people do,my sister was in a similar situation and his behaviour will only escalate until he controls his drinking, my sister always blamed herself as that is the way they get their victims and yes they are victims to think. She needs to get out but she will still think she can help him,she can't and counsellors from Refuge will really help her see that she needs to remove herself from the situation and then he will seek help,at the moment he has a scapegoat for his behaviour and in his mind he can blame her 'not turning a light off' for his anger. When she is out of the situation she will realise how ridiculous his behaviour is but she needs to get out now!
2007-02-19 07:56:06 · answer #4 · answered by Sam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to talk to her tell her know much YOU are worried for her safety and that you will be there for her if she then decides to go help her only try soon if he is drinking nobody knows what he is capable of also go with her to her doctors and maybe they will get help cause if you are living like that it is very bad for your mental health. You are a good friend good luck.
2007-02-19 07:06:06 · answer #5 · answered by Bernie c 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
30 yrs is a long time 2 b with someone,your friend is prob 2 scared 2leave him and will prob tel u its her fault he is like this and she loves him an doesnt no how 2 live without him,but u need 2 convince her 2 get out of there for her own safety!there is lots of people who can help with this!GOOD LUCK I REALLY HOPE THINGS WORK OUT 4 YOUR FRIEND AN YOURSELF
2007-02-20 07:59:02 · answer #6 · answered by baby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
30 years is a long time you say hes just started to be like this well alcohol does not help so she should get him out now..
2007-02-20 05:45:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get your friend out asap.You need to be there for her support. Leaving someone after 30 years will be hard but its better than her ending up dead.
2007-02-19 00:35:42 · answer #8 · answered by sivaspyder 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ever hear of the phrase " don't stick your pen in company ink" or " or don't fish the company waters" well there is a reason and you are experiencing it. It's better to treat co workers as family, and flirt with the temps. But your friend is correct, your current state of mind is bringing down the moral of the team.
2016-05-24 07:37:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you can do is more than just giving her pieces of advice she needs your help and the faster you react, the better for her. get her out of that house. and alert the authorities. look for somewhere to hide her. i guess she has a family her husband cannot do anything to her when she is with her family.
good luck
2007-02-19 01:03:10 · answer #10 · answered by b-ball rooky 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋