We have been married for 2 years, and my husband wants desperately to have babies. I on teh other hand, don't want any. I tried to talk to him about it, and he knows that I don't like babies, but still we are having huge crisis about it.
What should I do, I have had 2 miscarriages (not abortions) already, and he keeps on insisting to try. Help pls in talking to him, or showing him that we don't have to have children to be happy or complete!
2007-02-18 21:33:49 · 14 answers · asked by Nadinette 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We talked about babies b4 marriage, he knew that i did not like to have kids, and still i tried.... both times failed
2007-02-18 22:12:40 · update #1
He, then, fully understood that you did not have motherhood on your agenda as a parent? And now he want you to change your mind?
If that be the case, he married you hoping you would change your mind, and in your case, you even gave it a go???....
I was in your shoes, hon, and in no way in hell did I ever wish to be a parent..... and it was the deal-buster.... kids just wasn't what I wanted to do with my life --- screaming at 2a, vomit in the bed, temper tantrums, colic for no reasons, school fights, druggie teens, yadadadadaday. W ended our marriage as good friends after 9 years, each went his own way. He did remarry, but they never had any, and so did I, and he was already fixed, by that time, so was I.
Would not change any of that. Live a lovely life, travel all over the world --- Africa 6 times, Asia, Nepal, Turkey, C. America, S. America, Galapagos Islands, the Amazon, yeadadadydadya, Even learned to read hieroglyphics before going to Egypt. I should have changed this for dirty diapers ?? Insanity. I get to study, sculpt, have big parties, we drive nice cars, have a nice house, and $$ is no problem, and of course travel all over the world.....
No one can have all the goodies in life, but $250,000 per kid will buy you a few.
If I had to do my life over, I would change nothing. Can you say that?
Kids will destroy anything --- even a marriage. No kid destroyed ours.
You can't convince your husband -- but you can leave if the pressure is too big. I did, and found someone who was of like mind...
Good luck, hon.... (Oh, and got to reture at 48!)
2007-02-18 23:50:05 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well at least you have tried by falling pregnant twice to meet him half way. Did the two of you not talk about having kids before you got married?
Im curious as to why you have had 2 failed pregnancies. If you are willing to try again for him I have a few suggestions:-
1. Do you know what blood type you are? If you are a neg and he is a pos you may need to have an anti D injection. I had one and I fell pregnant.
2. You might want to be tested for Factor V Leiden. This is a blood clotting abnormality that makes you blood too thick and you will need blood thinning medication. Having your blood too thick can interfere with blood supply to the placenta to feed the baby so this is worth checking out. Just a blood test and be specific that you want to be tested for Factor V Leiden.
3. Are you overweight. That doesn't help either with falling pregnant.
If you are adamant you don't want children and he still does, if it is going to be a problem maybe the two of you should go your separate ways because both of you won't ever be happy and he will resent you for not giving him what he wants.
Good luck!
2007-02-18 21:51:19 · answer #2 · answered by simone c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you talked about this before marriage but obviously not enough. This a huge. He wants children and you knew that before you married him. Did you think he'd change his mind. Somehow you 2 have to come to a compromise on this or it will tear you apart.If you told him you didn't want children, he should have listened. It sounds like you knew what the other wanted but figured you'd work it out after you were married. There is no easy solution to this. One of you is going to have to give in to the other. That's the only solution. At least you've tried. I give you alot of credit for that. I wish you luck.
2007-02-19 00:05:25 · answer #3 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the only reason he does not desire to have a toddler now's by using fact he thinks he won't be decrease back in time then attempt telling him which you may incredibly like one and it is okay if with the help of a few threat he's no longer living house. I even have acquaintances in the army and it is confusing in view which you under no circumstances comprehend what's going to ensue and according to threat he's scared which you would be on my own and pregnant. If there are different motives he does not want a family contributors then possibly it incredibly is suited to attend. i'm hoping you could artwork it out.
2016-09-29 07:50:46 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this is a tough one.you both are enduring a mental feeling of void. He feels a child will fill the void. Judging by what you said it was also obvious he desperately wanted kids...and your still working things out. You two need to come to an agreement that makes both parties happy. It seems by you saying you don't ever want kids...it's tearing him up because he loves you alot but also always wanted children. Your asking him to give up one dream for another too. I strongly recommend counseling...this is not something that can be fixed anyother way. And it's obvious you both really love eachother. My fingers are crossed for you two.
2007-02-18 23:37:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Figure up what is costs to have a baby and raise it until he/she reaches 18 years old. Hand the dollar amount to your husband and tell him when he produces this amount in cash, you will reconsider. Until then, there will be no children born of this relationship.
2007-02-18 23:29:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's probably impossible to convince him of this by this point. This is really something that you two should have gotten worked out before getting hitched.
That said, is your problem about raising kids or giving birth to them? If the latter, there's always adoption and surrogacy.
2007-02-18 21:38:15 · answer #7 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shove a basketball up his butt and ask him if he likes it? Divorce him apparently he wants something you don't want . not like a dog or cat this is some life changing painful deal . Kick him in his nuts when he ask then say do you like pain neither do i .. don't know i would say tell him find someone else
2007-02-18 21:41:34 · answer #8 · answered by brn_bllws 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to brak up with him cos the moment he finds a woman who is willing to give him kids he will move out.
2007-02-18 21:47:47 · answer #9 · answered by cynnie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is nice that you want to be honest but why bother?
see your doctor or family planning clinic and get on the pill.
never, ever, let your husband find out you are using contraceptives. instead, let him keep trying to get you pregnant.
I know it's not an answer but it could buy you some time.
2007-02-18 22:13:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋