Is happiness a choice?

Question

WOW- what an amazing response- thanks for all answers!

To the few who have given emotive negative answers, I am aware this is a huge over-generalisation of anyone's emotional state, and I really hope you find happiness in some way in your life.

Answer 1

Having been treated for depression over the course of 18 months by a series of three different therapists, I firmly believe that happiness - and misery - are choices.

Obviously we have little or no control over what happens in our lives - and most of us will have a lot of good things and a lot of bad things happen to us while we're on this planet. How we choose to react to them is up to us.

For a long time I didn't believe or realise that I could choose to see things in different ways - but my third therapist believed that our mind works in an interesting way - like us, it builds up habits that it likes to use. He called these habits 'pathways'.

He explained to me that our mind tends to react to situations in the same way as it has reacted before.

He said that my mind was like a huge field, and when I experience something, my mind has to decide whether to interpret that event as something that is positive or something that is negative.

For me, while I was depressed, the huge field had just one path going through it to a gate on the other side, a deeply-trodden path that suggested that bad things always happened to me. Either side of that miserable path were high brambles and stinging plants that made it very hard for me to think in any positive way.

He said that I had to shut the gate on the other side of the field and beat a new path across the field to another gate - and that this path would be my happiness path.

To start with I found this extremely difficult - when something bad happened to me, I had to force myself to think that it wasn't 'my fault' or proof that I was an idiot - but just 'life'. And when something good happened to me, I had to force myself not to look for the negatives, something I'd always always done.

It felt really fake at first - but after a few weeks and months, it started to become natural - the new path across the field became the one that my mind naturally chose, while the old, 'negative' path started to grow over with brambles and big plants.

I really really believe we are in control of our happiness and our outlook on life. It is a liberating prospect and one that has improved my life 100-fold.

I thoroughly recommend 'Lifting the Lid on Depression' by Chris Scott and Tomas Woodbridge and 'Happiness: Lessons from a New Science' by Richard Layard.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Definatley!
Happiness is the one thing that shows us being as ourselves. When people look happy and your not dont you ever feel guilty? Its though someones telling you that you've done wrong. So you made the choice to not join in. You made the choice not to be happy.

We can be happy for so many reasons and we can be sad for so many reasons. Humans are born to make emotions and to live them so being sad isnt bad only if its for the right reasons and not just for getting your own way.

Another reason happiness is a choice is that we choose how to live our life and life is supposed to be lived to the full and is supposed to be happy.

We live in an age of huge wealth, miracle medical cures, falling crime rates, and unprecedented choice. In fact, if you look at the statistics, almost everything is getting better. If you’re typical, your income is rising fast, you will work for a company that regards your satisfaction as a priority, you will live twice as long as someone born a century ago, and your education will be better than at any point in history. And while, terrorism is terrifying, the risk to the average person is minute.

Yet amongst all this progress the one thing that shows no improvement is how happy people are. Life satisfaction remains static, and rates of depression and stress are skyrocketing. In a recent survey, more than 80% of 30-35 year old professionals claim they are unhappy at work. You may be someone suffering from ongoing stress and the never-ending scenario of too much to do in too little time. Or maybe you’re stuck in a rut and wondering which of the endless choices in life to go for.

Do you find yourself saying, ‘I’ll be happy when…I get promoted, win the lottery or lose a few more pounds? Over the last twenty years psychologists have discovered that happiness is not related to how much you earn, how healthy you are, or where you live. They have found that the increases in happiness created by these changes are only short-lived, and that lasting happiness is related to an optimistic approach to life, whatever your circumstances.

Happiness is a hot topic. The Government of Bhutan recently announced that ‘gross national happiness’ is more important to them than ‘gross national product’, and other world governments are also beginning to take happiness seriously. Tony Blair’s strategy unit recently published a paper recommending policies that might help to increase the nation’s happiness. It’s not just that happiness makes you feel good; it has significant impacts on health, social activity and intelligence. Here is a brief summary of some of the important research in this area.

So basically Happiness is a choice and one we should all take...at least sometimes.

Answer 3

I was happy and thought that even better days ahead. Never think that you may be happy next day, not today, feel happy as if you never know what challenges are ahead.
Currently I am deep depressed down. I can fix my mind on happy moments that I have: like having good parents and sisters, doing fine with my work, driving the car that I was dreaming, buying things that I wanted, been able to share with those who a hard up for money, but I am pointing things that making me suffer: being alone, remembering broke up that happened around this days one year ago, not getting the promotion at my work, not having sun and sea. Wishing to be taller than 1,72sm and thinner then 52
kg.
If you want to complain, you always find something, if you choose to be Happy, there are even more plenty of reasons.
Sounds good, but it takes willing to be happy.
Hope you have it.

Answer 4

No, I don't think it is a choice. A lot of the time it is governed by circumstance. Of course keeping a happy frame of mind will help you to keep on top of things but that is not always possible. Some people are naturally more positive than others. This brings up the whole topic of nature over nurture - i.e- are you born with your personality or is it developed by the experiences you have?
I know some people that have had a lot of bad things happen to them in their life, yet they keep on going and are happy and easygoing. Then I know other people who have had no more problems in their life than others and they have been diagnosed as chronic depressives. I'm sure no-one would conciously choose to be unhappy but some people are more pre-disosed to it than others. After all, a lot of happiness is caused by chemicals in the brain, and if their is an imbalance one will suffer from depression.

In an ideal world happiness would be a choice, but to choose to be happy despite circumstance is a very difficult, and I think; somewhat synthetic state of mind.

Answer 5

Sometimes happiness is out of your control. Others can make your life unhappy but equally they can make it happy. But also it can be circumstances, example if the weather blew your house down it would be hard to feel happy with no where to live and all your things trashed. Another example is if you lost your job, it would have a knock on effect as even if you didn't like the job you would now have no money so problems would arise which would make you unhappy. But if all goes well in life it should be easy to be happy (unless you were a depressed nature).
This is a very difficult question to answer

Answer 6

We want it. We strive for it. We envy others who have it Yet, how many people do you know who "have everything" and still yearn for true happiness? The kind of happiness I'm talking about is that kind that comes from within and is not based on status, position, wealth, or possessions. It's a natural resource that is readily available to all. Happiness is a choice. Recent breakthroughs in psychology, neurology, and chemistry have revealed that happiness is attainable, and the brain can actually change as a result of conscious selection of thoughts. Each of us is born with a genetically coded happiness "set point" which is not based entirely on what happens to us
"Happiness is genetically influenced, although it is not genetically fixed. The brain's structure can be modified through practice. If you really want to be happier than your grandparents provided for in your genes, you have to learn the kinds of things you can do, day by day, to bounce your set point up and avoid the things that bounce it down." some people are happy , regardless of their less-than-ideal circumstances, while others are unhappy , even when they seem to "have it all." Maintaining an optimistic outlook - choosing positive thoughts Acting happy by changing your physiology -- Put on a happy smile! Meditation is a very effective way to change subjective well-being.
Well I sure hope this will help you Good luck skycat!!!!!

Answer 7

For goodness sake, how can one choose to be happy if one has just lost a child or someone one particularly loves? How can one choose to be happy if one is suffering terribly physically or mentally? How can one be happy when one knows that one has an incurable illness that will kill you soon whilst you are young and you know it will also hurt your family and affect some of your children in the same way? How can one be happy in the knowledge that someone hates you and will do anything to destroy you? How can people who have lost their homes are living under broiling sun in refugee camps where there is no food, water, and sanitation, and are at the mercy of bandits who rape , pillage and kill, choose to be happy?
Play the "glad game" like Pollyanna?: "I am happy because I do not need the crutches I received for Christmas".
So we choose to be happy when a small child has been raped and murdered because it has not happened to our child? We choose to be happy because we still have to live in intolerable pain even though we would prefer to be dead than have to bear this torture? We choose to be happy because we have been raped and our child lies dead in our arms, but it could be worse?

You may have a happy and optimistic disposition but you cannot choose that either. Some people are born with depressive genes and try as they may, will always be prone to sadness.
You can be positive in your outlook and chose to play down the small unpleasantnesses of life, but when life kicks you with all its might and you are faced with hideous situations beyond your control, you have not got the luxury of the choice.
Anyhow who are we to judge? What may seem a pinprick to one person is a knife wound to another. Some people are moaners when their lot seems enviable and some are happy with nothing: it is matter of perspective and personality.
It is all very well for those that can disregard trials and tribulations particularly if they affect others, but there is an element of turning a blind eye or burrying your head in the sand. They say ignorance is bliss...but it comes as a hell of a shock when you fall off the table on which you are dancing.

Answer 8

How we deal with circumstances is a choice; however I think some people are natural pessimists & some optimists. I heard a radio interview with Stevie Wonder ages ago, he came across as such a lively, positive person who really loves life. When asked if he resented the fact that he is blind, he had no self-pity whatsoever and said something like 'God gave me so many amazing gifts. He just didn't give me eyes'. A man happy with his lot.

It's curious that people who can afford to surround themselves with luxury sometimes still come across as unhappy; and yet in a TV programme last night, the bushmen of the Kalahari, who have a constant struggle to find food, all seemd to be lovely people, and happy - no frown lines or bad expressions on their faces, and contented children. Back to attitude again. My Grandad had a saying: 'Money won't make you happy, but at least you can be miserable in comfort!'

Answer 9

Happiness is definately a choice. Every action we make is a choice from choosing to get up in the morning to choosing whether to drive straight on a road or vear off and run into the car in front of us. Happiness is all a part of that. We choose to be positive or negative about different things, and that is one way in which we can choose our moods - happy, sad, angry, etc.

Answer 10

well my life sucks at the moment, I lost my job a couple of weeks back and got ill so couldn't even finish off my last few days, so now I'm not getting a good reference, I haven't been able to find another job yet in spite of trawling the streets like a mad woman and joining every employment agency within a twenty mile radius. I have thirty pounds left in the world and no other money coming in for at least a fortnight.

but I choose to be happy. I choose to believe if I am enough of a pain in the *** I will get a job. and this is a temporary hick up.

Answer 11

That's a very good question. I think that we do things that makes us feel happy, some people wait for happiness to fall into their laps and some people, especially those who are ill and suffer with depression cannot hope to find happiness, so its not a choice for some people.