I really a (think) I am ready for a relationship...a boyfriend. But every time I go out or start talking to someone new, I get this "ick" feeling...like a pit in my stomach, to the point of getting sick. I have always experienced this feeling in some form or another, and have managed to fade out of more could-be-relationships than you might think possible. Recently, I have really been analyzing it and I seriously think I might have surpressed a memory of being sexually abused. A therapist once suggested the possibility of that to me and I blew it off, but now I wonder. What is that "ick" feeling? Is it a sex anxiety? Is it an insecurity I am hiding from myself? Am I just not supposed to be with a man?
Sure, I've been attracted to girls before, but from what I gather, that doesn't necessarily mean you're gay. I'm so confused!!
2007-02-18 20:10:57 · 4 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Be very careful of any therapist who "suggests" you might have "repressed" a memory of sexual abuse. It is very easy to create an entire false history, especially if it seems to account for difficult or confusing feelings in the present. There was a whole industry around this in the early 80s and 90s, built mainly by poorly qualified "therapists" whose understanding of the mechanisms of memory left a lot to be desired.
While sexual abuse is real, and many people suffer real sequellae as a result, it's not usually useful to go looking for such a history as a way of making sense of your feelings. Memory doesn't work that way.
A good therapist will give you the space to sit with the feelings till you can find your own way through them, not suggest causes.
2007-02-18 20:25:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
good sign that u get disgusted when u get the thought of being with a man in everyway. best thing is to find a female u really like. u need to try to get the thought out of being abused, because it affect ur ability to think on who u want to be with. dont let this abuse control ur life. I work at a facility with incarerated juvies. i've seen some who experience this as a child and overcome it, because they know its not them and they refuse to let their childhood determine their future. just be sure, but i know a girl she was molested by step-father and she's gay now and every once in a while she goes to be with a man, her girlfriend says she has seen her several times in the act and at first she seems in to in and then she just lays therelife she has flashbacks. work it out before getting involved, most of all pray about it--- good luck
2007-02-18 20:28:51 · answer #2 · answered by cute_dimples2003 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are getting that feeling cous you are scared for the unknown. thing is you will have to go through with it to get over it.
2007-02-18 20:24:54 · answer #3 · answered by (",) JJ (,") 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
those feeling are CALLED butterflies we all get them when we get intrested in some one new
2007-02-22 11:01:01 · answer #4 · answered by TIGGER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋