My fiancee and i are getting married soon and i was wondering what peoples opinons were on having my fiancees ex-wife and her partner at our wedding. They have twins together and the twins will be in the ceremony. I wouldnt say we are all the best of friends but we get along ok and have a chat and a drink now and then. Im not sure howd id feel having her there but for the kids maybe? But then its my day ...
Help?!
2007-02-18 19:45:36 · 16 answers · asked by Kris 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your fiancee and his ex have both moved on and are on good terms then theres no reason for her not to come. With two children together she was a big part of his life and always will be with children to care for. I think you should invite her, just to be friendly and keep up good relations. Afterall, it's your day and he's marrying you, right? How could she possibly affect what you feel for each other now? Enjoy your wedding day and don't stress about the past, you're about to start a future.
2007-02-18 19:54:35 · answer #1 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiancee has previously committed his life to another woman and that marriage dissolved. Why would you want the presence of that woman (friend or not) at YOUR wedding. These are your vows to eachother and any past baggage should not brought to anyones attention at this special time for you and your fiancee. Your wedding represents a fresh start, a new committment etc. I think to have her there would kind of take away from your moment. The kids are there, the people you care about are there, thats all you need. Now is not the time to be "politically correct". The people who attend your wedding should represent the people who support you and your husband in your committment to eachother. The ex-wife seems a little odd to be standing in that type of audience.
2007-02-19 16:44:46 · answer #2 · answered by gg55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was invited to my ex's wedding when he got remarried. Like you, the 3 of us certainly were not (are not) best friends but we are "friendly" for our son's sake (he was the ring bearer). I had no desire to go to the wedding and did not, but it was nice that they were grown-up enough to ask.
My son was only 5 1/2 when they married (it was a year ago now) so I understand what you are saying about having someone there to take care of the twins, esp. if they are still young. I certainly didn't expect my ex and his new wife to be perfect caregivers on that day as there is so much more to do; however I knew my ex's parents (my son's grandparents) would take good of my son so that was not a concern. So unless you two have someone who can take care of the twins and not have to worry about them when you are both running around with wedding stuff, I would invite their mother.
2007-02-19 04:48:57 · answer #3 · answered by Veronica S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not the ex's day, it's your day. The twins will be at the ceremony, that's fine but tell the ex you will take lots of pics for her to look at. At no stage feel guilty if she pushes to be there.....IT'S YOUR DAY! remember that. She's had hers!
When the twins get married you sort of have to accept the ex being there because they r her children too but as far as your wedding goes it's whatever you decide. If u think u might be uncomfortable with her there then tell her NO! good luck with your wedding :)
2007-02-18 19:54:17 · answer #4 · answered by simone c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would make it known to your fiance about how you feel. He is the one that should decide whether or not to invite her since it would be his side of the family/friends. If she has already received the invitation and is told to come then I would let it be and just let her come. She's not there to ruin your day, you probably won't even notice she's there among the sea of people that will be there. Plus it keeps you from worrying about the kids. She can watch the twins while you and your honey have your time together at your reception and such.
If he feels it is necessary to invite her, just let him. It's up to him, but make sure your voice is heard and communicate to eachother.
2007-02-18 19:53:42 · answer #5 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no longer anybody hates their ex, some can look after platonic relationships. some human beings even area approaches on solid words. it kind of feels they have the two moved on from their dating. If she is including your on fb that exhibits she does not have something to conceal. I invited my ex-fiance to my wedding ceremony. He and that i are on solid words (continually have been) and he and my husband get alongside properly. My ex and that i share a daughter and he become looking forward to seeing her all dressed up. We even invited his mothers and fathers and sister. additionally, you do not have a fiancee, you have a fiance. A fiancee is a woman and a fiance is a male.
2016-09-29 07:47:31 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have to respect your partner to be. It sounds like the ex-wife is sitll and important part of their life. Especially with children involved. This is a trust issue. Are you having problems with this idea becase you fear that there may be a reconcile between the two of them?
Also, the kids are going to be taking part in the ceremony itself. Why shouldn't the mother be able to be there. She may be thrilled at her ex finding happiness. To say that she's not inviited but everyone else is, is a slap in the face at best. And it may cause strain in the child custody issues later on.
Invite her to celebrate the begining of this new life with your partner. If they are fine with what's going on, then allow them to invite who they wish.
2007-02-18 19:56:30 · answer #7 · answered by noncrazed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are very unsure of having her present, I know I would be! Unless your fiance absolutely insists, and in that case .. I would rethink things ... I would say, don't invite her. You are right, it IS YOUR day!!
However, since their children together are participating in the ceremony, find someone to videotape, or even hire someone to videotape the wedding and the reception. You will then have a lasting memory, and you can give one a copy to the mother of the twins so that she can see them in the wedding, that kind of thing is a big deal to Moms.
2007-02-18 19:56:06 · answer #8 · answered by Pichi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is YOUR day. His ex should keep at least a mile away from the wedding. You do have an obligation to be a good mother to his kids (that are now your kids too). You have no obligation to his ex whatsoever.
2007-02-18 19:53:37 · answer #9 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes its your day so dont be worried about the ex once a man and a woman have a child togther they are bonded for the rest of there lifes it doesnt mean they want to be with each other but they will always have love for one another and will try to maintain a friendship so if your marring this man you have to gt over your hard feeling (if you even have any) try to become friends with her. but no matter what you have nothing to be worried about the wedding is for you not her (HIS LOVE FOR YOU)
2007-02-18 19:53:16 · answer #10 · answered by comacati 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋