I have a husband. no job. a preacher .. Im catholic. He does not earn anything from preaching cos he's s starter. He doesnt want to look for a job. he stays in house and take care of our child.. he depends on what his family can offer any amount to him which is not right cos he's married. Im working and us living with my mom. yeah.. my mom spends everything that we eat. he cant look for a job here in our town. i think he doesnt like working away from us.... Is he right thinking of this??
2007-02-18 19:00:07 · 13 answers · asked by pato29 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you love this man? I myself wouldn't put up with it. I am old fashioned. I will always believe the man should earn the living - not to say a woman can't work but if the man doesn't help and I don't mean just take care of the child. Does he cook and clean or does he sit around all day? Does he cut the grass and do other things to keep the house in order. You say you are Catholic- not that, that has anything to do with it other than I know how you faith feels about divorce as does mine and I'm protestant but you can't go by what anyone wants you to do but what you feel God wants you to do. The Bible says a husband is to love his wife and take care of her, it does not say a woman has to love her husband although I'm sure we are supposed to but we are supposed to respect our husbands. Why does mom get your money and allowed to spend all that you make. If you live with her then give her a certain amount for rent but not all and get out of that town. You need to be away from mom. It's fine to go back and stay if there is a real need but not to live forever. Tell him to get a job, if he has to work out of town for a while then just think of the great homecoming.
Women have a tendency to take the responsibiltes that the husband should be taking - sit down, talk with him and mom, get counseling if necessary and then if things don't improve atleast separate for awhile and see if that will help. Separation doesn't always mean divorce but take your children with you, you would have regrets later if you didn't.
God Bless and hope things work out well for you.
2007-02-18 19:21:33 · answer #1 · answered by grandmabonnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be a fundamentalist christian. Your husband sounds like maybe he is one. Question: Did you marry him knowing he was not working and only preaching?
the bible teaches that a husband should love his wife like Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. It does not sound like your husband is following the bible's teaching. He can still preach in the church and also hold down a job. Many earnest preachers do this.
How can anyone truly respect him when he is willing to let your mother support you both? How can you respect him.
You are within your rights to insist he either obtain some kind of steady employment or else move out. He is not being a husband, he is being childish and immature and is a user. The sooner you face this and make him decide how important you and your marriage is to him, the sooner. He is definitely a poor example to his congregation. I don't understand why he can't look for employment in your town. Is it because of the congregation? Get real, wake up, these are poor excuses. Any church that would support him in his decision to not work needs to either support him themselves, or I would find a different church. And believe me, I know all about churches, I have attended them for over 40 years. If your mother is now supporting the two of you, thank God that you have a loving mother to help you. Make him be a man or get rid of him. And God would not judge you for this, you would be within your rights as a christian woman to leave him.
2007-02-18 19:14:14 · answer #2 · answered by romeoshannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well in terms of having someone watch the kid sure, but you live with your mom, and you are married, and you have a kid. Have mom watch the kid and tell your husband he needs to get a job, just because he is in the church does not give him a right to smooch off other people. how can he be a catholic man and be married, I didn't think catholics could be married, or is he just like a member of the church. Why can't he look for work in your town? He needs to get a paying job.
2007-02-18 19:21:10 · answer #3 · answered by Hawaiisweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's a preacher then he knows its not right to live off other people and not work. I was married to a preacher who didn't want to work too. We are divorced, he has custody of 2 of our children because he was primary caregiver and I worked all the time. He's lazy and using you, your family, and his own family. He will never want to work and you will end up supporting him. You are definitely not lucky. Be careful, he could get custody of your child if you two break up.
2007-02-18 19:06:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is married. He needs to get a job and provide for his family. Did he have a job when you met him? What about when you married him? He can be a preacher and still work and provide for his family. You all have the right to have your own place to live and it's not fair to your mom or his family, they shouldn't have to take care of you. I would talk to him about it.
2007-02-18 19:04:18 · answer #5 · answered by So_many_questions 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give your preacher husband the homework of finding the biblical role of the husband and father. He is to be the spiritual leader, security and material support of the household. I think he's being somewhat hypocritical if he espouses to be a man of God.
2007-02-18 19:27:48 · answer #6 · answered by Phaedrus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My brother is a Preacher, and he has worked everyday of his life for his family. There is no excuse, if he is a Preacher then he should know that he is suppose to be providing for his family.
2007-02-18 19:08:12 · answer #7 · answered by K_Seeks4Answers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a stay at home daddy! No real ambitions like a stay at home mom with a penis. He needs to get a job unless your happy with a leecher, like a working father, but with a vagina!
Funny, he's a stay at home dad, but that's unacceptable, but if he was a stay at home mom, oh how wonderful! Dumb dumb dumb!
Mind you, in my eyes, they all need jobs to be great parents.
2007-02-18 19:03:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
a husband should be the one providing for the family...
unless you are comfortable with a houseman... or else.. not a wise thing to stay at home and wait for family to give him...
2007-02-18 19:13:05 · answer #9 · answered by larisnotme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, i dont think that is right.He may be nice but not working for a living is not right.
2007-02-18 19:05:42 · answer #10 · answered by ANU U 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋